1
Received a letter from a reader that reads as follows:
I've been reading the stories you've written for years, and I don't know how to think of you as a friend.
In the past few days, I have felt very uncomfortable, and I really don't know who to talk to, so I want to talk to you.
That's right, my fiancé and I have been in love for more than 3 years, and I originally planned to hold a wedding on May Day.
However, now the fiancé still plans to hold a wedding on May Day. It's still the hotel we booked in advance, but the bride is not me.
First of all, let's introduce my basic situation.
My name is Xiao Xia, I am 28 years old this year, graduated from graduate school, and I am currently the head of a department in a unit with a monthly income of 20,000 yuan.
I am an only child, and my family conditions are also very good, and my parents bought me a house when I was in college.
The car was bought for me by my parents after I joined the work, two or three hundred thousand.
My fiancé and I were originally alumni. When he was in graduate school, he was admitted to our school.
Later, at an event, we fell in love at first sight. At that time, our love was really sweet.
Originally, I planned to get a certificate with him after graduating from graduate school. But the fiancé disagreed, saying that men should have careers.
Well, I'm all attached to him.
2
We got engaged at the beginning of last year, and the engagement was still urged by my fiancé's parents. They said they wished we had settled it sooner so they could have peace of mind.
The fiancé's family is in a small county town, and his father works in a factory, but his mother doesn't have a job. He also has a younger sister in college.
The conditions, to be honest, naturally can't be compared with my family.
However, I didn't dislike him either. During the years I spent with him, I spent a lot of money on him.
I bought his clothes, shoes, and bags. Anyway, my income is not bad, and I don't have to pay the mortgage or anything, so there is no pressure.
At first, his fiancé said no, but then he got used to it.
After we got engaged, my fiancé and his parents urged us to buy a house. They also took out all their savings, plus the money in their fiancé's hand, and made a down payment on a small two-bedroom apartment.
After my fiancé told me about buying a house, I also agreed, and took the initiative to give him the 100,000 yuan in deposit. My parents also have to sponsor us 300,000 yuan. But the fiancé refused.
He said, I have a suite, he has a suite, so it's fair.
Later, I thought that he was probably afraid that my name would be added to the room book, and it would be unclear when the time came. However, I have my own house, so I don't care.
Originally, according to my fiancé's parents, we should have had a wedding last year. But he said that he was not in a hurry to get married, and I also relied on him and gave him time. I didn't expect him to betray me.
At the end of last year, my fiancé met Xiaohe, a girl from a cooperative unit.
Xiaohe is 25 years old, graduated from junior college, and has an income of nearly 4,000. These are all things my fiancé told me when we broke up.
Originally, I was very busy at work, and I thought that during the Chinese New Year, I would go out on a trip with my fiancé.
As a result, during the Chinese New Year, he broke the appointment and only said that he wanted to go back to his hometown and accompany his parents.
I also got angry, and in a fit of rage, I went on a trip alone.
3
Who knows, not long after returning from the New Year, my fiancé proposed to me to break up.
I was amazed.
On New Year's Day, his parents asked us to get married on May Day, and they also booked a hotel in their county in advance.
At that time, the parents of the two families discussed that each family's wedding would be held separately, and the gift money would be collected separately.
Their family's wedding is scheduled for May 1st, and our family's wedding is scheduled for May 8th. My parents also specially selected a very high-end restaurant.
Who knows, the fiancé actually made such a fuss.
I asked him why?
He said he didn't like me anymore, that I was too strong to take care of his feelings. He felt that he had been accommodating me for the past few years with me, and he was very aggrieved, and this kind of relationship made him feel very uncomfortable.
After hearing this, I was furious.
What do you mean by being wronged? When I bought him designer clothes and shoes, I didn't see him wronged? Now I say he is wronged?
I didn't accept his PUA and had a hard fight with him.
After that, we had a cold war for almost a month. He took the initiative to find me and said that Xiaohe was pregnant, so let me get together and disperse.
I'm so angry. It's not that I can't find a good man, I also have self-esteem, okay?
I have also met that little lotus once, he is not as good as me, his family is not as good as me, and he is not as good as me anywhere.
Although my boyfriend's parents didn't approve of our breakup. His dad slapped him in front of me, but he insisted.
So, I just let it go.
It's just that two days ago, I heard that my fiancé was going to hold a wedding with Xiaohe on May Day. I was indignant in my heart.
I don't understand, what the hell am I not worthy of? Obviously, I am better than Xiaohe in everything. I felt like he was slapping me in the face, and my heart hurt a lot.
These days, I can't eat well, I can't sleep well, I really can't figure it out. Momo, I want to hear your advice, what kind of mind does my fiancé have, and why didn't he choose me?
4
Reply:
Turning the page over the past, this man is now your ex-fiancé.
To be honest, whether it is a man or a woman, if the other party abandons him, he chooses a partner who is stronger than him in everything. We're sad, but we understand it.
After all, people go to high places, and water flows to low places.
However, just like Xiao Xia, her ex-fiancé, who had been in love for a few years, chose a woman who was not as good as herself to marry. It's going to be hard to accept.
Why is this so?
What is this so-called ex-fiancé thinking?
In fact, men are sometimes very realistic.
Previously, the ex-fiancé did not own a house and never wanted to get married. Now, he has a house, and he immediately got married.
It shows that this man has always had a comparison in his heart.
Xiao Xia has good conditions, although he will buy him clothes and shoes, but he will definitely not kneel and lick him all the time, and he will not be able to satisfy his superiority.
Xiaohe's income is not high, and his family conditions are average, so it is a bit difficult to buy a house on his own. Therefore, in comparison, she will definitely coax this man, at least let him everywhere.
Many men, in fact, don't like women who are stronger than themselves. Otherwise, a capable woman would not be crowned a "strong woman". Why is there no such thing as a strong man?
Only a man who is truly strong in his heart will allow a woman to be stronger than him. To be honest, there are not many men like this.
This fiancé now says that Xiao Xia is strong, why didn't he say that she was strong when he didn't have a house in the past?
It's just a moment and a moment.
He should, never so really want to marry Xiao Xia. Especially after he has a house and confidence, not to mention it.
A financially independent and sober-minded girl like Xiao Xia is not so easy to handle. Naturally, there was no way to satisfy his desire for control.
And Xiao He, who has something to ask for him, is different, she definitely looks better than Xiao Xia, can meet this man's core values, and even does not hesitate to get pregnant quickly to get on the throne.
I want to say to Xiao Xia, bye bye, bye-bye, the next one is better.
A girl like her deserves a better man.
At present, this ex-fiancé, even if he is married, may not be a mine.
It may not be a good thing to see him clearly before getting married and stop losses in time.
What do you think? Welcome to leave a message.