Human affection is like water, and the world is like a cloud.
The relationship between people is like a bubble, no matter how colorful and beautiful it is, it will eventually burst as soon as it is poked. This is true of the feelings of strangers, and the same is true of the feelings of family members.
The most typical example is the love between husband and wife. Although everyone shares the same bed, it is inevitable that "husband and wife are birds in the same forest, and they fly separately when disaster comes". Feelings can't stand the test.
When middle-aged marriage is "at the end of fate", these 5 visions often appear, don't be stupid and don't know.
01
We can only share joy, but not suffering.
When you have money, you can still maintain a harmonious relationship and try to avoid conflicts. Once you run out of money, let alone maintain a harmonious relationship, it's good not to quarrel.
The poorer they are, the more irritable they become, and they don't like anyone. Because he didn't dare to bully outsiders, he would go home and find people around him to vent his anger. Your partner, in particular, has a high chance of becoming your partner's punching bag.
Why can people only share joys and sorrows, but not sorrows? Because human beings are creatures that "seek advantages and avoid disadvantages", they only do things that are beneficial to themselves, and will not do things that are not beneficial to themselves.
Today's young people are very realistic, they only marry you if they have a house and a car, and they will dump you if they don't have a house or a car. You can say that human nature worships money, but this is an "innate" nature that cannot be overcome.
Could it be that there is no such thing as a husband and wife who "share suffering"? Yes, but very few, as few as they are. The vast majority of couples will choose to go their own way and try to protect themselves as wise as possible when they are bankrupt and in debt.
02
At the asset level, there was a dispute.
As mentioned above, human nature worships money, which shows that the nature of "mercenary" is engraved in the bones. For the sake of profit, people can do all kinds of unexpected things by unscrupulous means.
The so-called "man dies for money, and birds die for food." As long as the husband and wife have the idea of divorce, they will continue to make small moves, seize the assets of the other half, and let the other half leave the house.
have been together for many years, why do they still have such "vicious" ideas? In the face of money, all feelings are vulnerable, and no one will give up immediate interests for the sake of feelings.
For example, if someone else can take away a house from you and replace it with you, do you choose a relationship or a house? 99% of people would choose a house. The reason is very simple, being affectionate may not make people wealthy. And having a house can definitely make people live quietly.
The vast majority of today's marital conflicts are "conflicts of interests". Only when there are interests can people have the motivation to get married. It is precisely because of the interests that people have the motivation to divorce. Cases of making money through marriage are very common.
03
The relationship exists in name only, and only the children are involved.
Most middle-aged couples have long been out of love, and the relationship exists in name only, why do they still play on the scene and maintain a relationship that is on the verge of breaking?
The answer is simple, for the sake of children. Without children, the husband and wife have long gone their separate ways and cut them off. But it is precisely because of having children that both husband and wife are concerned.
In recent years, the "college entrance examination divorce tide" has emerged in an endless stream. A considerable number of middle-aged couples will meet and choose to divorce and end their relationship after their children's college entrance examination is over.
The child does not have the college entrance examination, and once the husband and wife divorce, it will inevitably affect the child's studies. The child has already taken the college entrance examination, even if the husband and wife divorce, it will not affect the child's studies.
All relationships between husband and wife, which exist in name only, are like a tree that has been eaten by termites, and as long as a storm is coming, the big tree will collapse with a bang. The result has long been predestined.
04
The more tired it gets, the more disgusted it becomes.
Many people don't understand that when they fall in love, both men and women return you and me, but why do they feel tired of getting along for many years, and even dislike each other?
It's the same as eating, you eat beef every day, and in less than a month, you will be disgusted with beef. As soon as you hear the word beef, you will have a nausea and a special aversion to beef.
The same is true of people. When they first got along, there was still a sense of freshness on both sides, and they would naturally be sweet and greasy, just like jelly beans. As time goes by, everything that should be done has been done, the novelty disappears, and naturally they get tired of each other.
Even if you are a handsome guy and have been with your other half for a long time, your other half will feel that it is just like that; Even if you are a beauty, if you have been with your partner for a long time, your other half will feel that it is just like that.
Whether it's a handsome guy or a beautiful woman, the longer you spend together, the more tired you feel. Unless it rises from conjugal affection to intimate affection, there is no solution to this problem.
05
The conceptual gap has intensified, and he has completely become a passerby.
Most marriages in East Asia are "Lalang matching" marriages. That is, the man and the woman get married in order to complete the task, and there is no affection between the two parties.
However, there is a fatal problem in this kind of marriage, and there is a fierce contradiction between the three views of men and women.
The husband thinks that A is right, the wife thinks that A is wrong, neither party is convinced, and they are still aggressive, and they are destined to become passers-by at some point in the future, and even husband and wife can't do it.
Just imagine, even blood relatives such as parents and children will conflict over the estrangement of concepts, how can they be married without blood relationship?
Only when the three views of husband and wife are in harmony can it be possible to grow old together. And the three views of husband and wife do not match, let alone join hands until they are old, maybe they will break up halfway. The three views are different and cannot be strengthened.
Text/Shushan has deer