Speaking of her husband at home, Ms. Yan couldn't help crying and wiped away her tears, and then she slowly spoke, saying that marriage had brought her a lot of pain, and she had to grit her teeth to bear the heavy pressure.
Fifteen years after marriage, she was really tired and filed for divorce with her husband.
It's just that he didn't cooperate very much, so the program team who asked for help hoped that everyone would get together and disperse.
After all, they conceived a son together and didn't want to tear their faces.
The mediator asked her, what happened to make her so painful?
Ms. Yan is weak and unable to speak clearly for a while, and there are contradictions large and small, which especially consumes her energy.
She has paid a lot for this family, but she can't be cherished by her husband, and she has been hurt too much, so she doesn't have the courage to continue with her husband.
She felt like a fool, and the effort she had made was really not worth it.
The husband and wife have a special lifestyle, and the husband is responsible for the expenses incurred in the education of the children.
Her salary is used to pay for the family's living expenses, such as food and utilities.
If her salary was really not enough, he would give her 800 to 1,000 yuan a month.
However, he usually doesn't need his 800 to 1,000 yuan, and only once or twice a year.
Then, he didn't even want to pay for his son's education now, and asked several times, but he didn't give it, saying that he had no money.
She said that he had borrowed 2,000 yuan from his brother before, but he hadn't paid it back, so he could take the initiative to ask for it back.
Although there is not much money, it is appropriate to repay the debt.
Just take these two thousand dollars and use them first.
Her money is spent on family living expenses, and she really has no extra money to pay for her children's tuition.
He was not happy, and he annoyed her, saying that he would just leave it alone.
When she heard this, she became angry, and the teachers were urging her to pay the tuition at that time, could she not be in a hurry!
The other classmates have paid, but they haven't paid their son's tuition, so how can the child raise his head in front of his classmates.
When it came to this, he was still indifferent and didn't care, and in the end he still relied on her to find a way to solve it.
It's been like this many times, when there is something at home that needs to be settled by him, she never counts on him, she will only let her take care of it, or let her watch it.
With him and him, she has to grit her teeth to bear the pressure, her mood has become bad, and her mood is unstable.
She thinks it can't go on like this.
The small family should not be run by her alone, her ability to resist pressure is limited, and there will be times when she collapses.
He didn't even think about whether she would be crushed, only caring about her own affairs and her feelings.
In this regard, Ms. Yan's husband, Mr. Yang, said that this year is also the same.
In the past, he was responsible for the children's education.
He didn't mean not to give the child's tuition this year, but he really didn't have any money, where to pay for her?
He said at the time that when the salary was paid, he would transfer it to her as soon as possible, so wait for the time being.
She didn't understand his difficulties, and asked for money as soon as she opened her mouth.
The mediator also felt strange, and waited a little longer to hand it in, but in fact, it was okay, and the school side, they could try to communicate with the teacher.
Ms. Yan said that the meeting had been delayed for more than two weeks and could not be further delayed.
Moreover, she couldn't figure out why she was waiting for him to pay her salary.
The family's monthly living expenses are her salary, so he doesn't even have money to pay for tuition.
The more she thought about it, the more she felt that something was wrong.
She asked him where his money was spent.
He has been hesitating, and he can't come up with a reasonable answer for a long time.
As soon as these words came out, the mediator was also curious, where did Mr. Yang spend his money every month?
After being silent for a while, Mr. Yang said that his salary was not much, only about 4,000 yuan a month.
Sometimes, he would transfer her 1,000 yuan to pay for his son's tuition fees.
Of course, Ms. Yan will not accept such an answer, the child's education fee is an expense, but this kind of fee does not need to be paid every month.
After her investigation, the real reason was that he borrowed money from him on various platforms and owed a lot of foreign debts.
Every month's salary, he probably used it to pay off his debts, so he was so poor that he couldn't pay his son's tuition.
He was going to confess to her, and she wouldn't be so angry.
If she hadn't been suspicious and hadn't checked his phone, it was estimated that he would continue to hide it.
When she asked him in a temperament, where did the borrowed money go?
He just talked nonsense, saying that it was used for a small family.
She was so angry with him that she said that the family's expenses were spent on her money, and when did she use his money, why didn't she know?
There has been no increase in furniture and appliances at home.
He didn't speak again.
Thinking of this, she felt that it was not worth it again, she posted all her salary to her home, and he not only did not help her, but also caused this kind of trouble.
They are just ordinary families, and once they owe foreign debts, they will definitely have a serious impact on the lives of small families.
How can she live this day!
Not to mention anything else, the debt collection call was annoying enough, and she didn't understand why he suddenly owed so much debt.
For the sake of husband and wife, she helped him pay off his foreign debt of 6,000 yuan.
Now, he still has 20,000 yuan left to pay.
The mediator argued that Mr. Yang had to tell the truth and could not try to hide it.
Mr. Yang admitted that he owed more than $20,000 in foreign debts.
The money borrowed on the platform is about 8,000 yuan.
The 20,000 yuan is the credit card owed.
The 20,000 yuan is actually the money that his younger brother owes, and the younger brother borrowed his card.
He was also under too much pressure, so he borrowed money to turn around, and he was also trying to repay the money.
Ms. Yan sneered, she was the most stressful person in the family, and she had to deal with everything by herself.
Not only does she have to earn money, but she also has to take care of her son and do household chores.
The husband didn't care about anything other than earning money, didn't care about his son's life and study, and didn't help with housework.
The long-term pressure was about to force her to collapse.
Mr. Yang said that he knew that she had sacrificed a lot and paid a lot for the sake of her small family.
However, he is also working hard, in order to change the status quo and improve the economic conditions of his family, he sleeps less than eight hours a day.
He now works two jobs, and when he's busy, he doesn't even care about drinking water.
The night before, he barely slept and felt very tired.
However, he believes that as long as he survives this difficult period, life will be better.
As soon as her husband said this, Ms. Yan said that she knew that he was not an idle person, and she also knew that he had found two jobs during this time and rested late at night.
However, she couldn't feel sorry for him, and she didn't want to force herself to feel sorry for him.
If she feels sorry for him, then who will feel sorry for her!
His hard work is only for himself, not for her, not for his son.
Instead of enjoying the fruits of his efforts, she had to wipe his ass.
No matter how hard he tries, he doesn't have much to do with them, and even if they make money, they won't give it to her generously.
So, what does his hard work, his hard work, mean to her?
Fifteen years of marriage, she has long passed the age of being affectionate and full, she doesn't want to listen to what he says, she just wants to see real things.
When she was tired, he was able to help, take on the heavy responsibilities of the family together, and give her a peace of mind.
However, he can't help her, she is the same as a widowed marriage, there is no one behind her, only she gritted her teeth and persisted.
Not to mention money, even the matter of contribution, he doesn't have the heart to help.
Her son is older, rebellious, and difficult to manage, and she has been exhausted for her son's affairs for the past two years.
He knew her hardships, but he turned a blind eye to them, and still let her discipline his son alone.
So, when he didn't give her tuition in time, she was even more dissatisfied with him.
Even if she can pay it later, she will definitely not give him time to delay, and she must pay the tuition immediately.
It's a way for her to vent her frustrations.
My son's grades used to be okay, but in the past two years, he has regressed a lot, dropping by more than a hundred, and she is really anxious.
In fact, my son is a smart child, as long as he is willing to learn, he can learn and make rapid progress.
The mediator asked, "What's the problem now?"
Ms. Yan glanced at Mr. Yang, the child's grades declined, and he was rebellious, and her husband was to blame.
The husband is too lazy to use his brains and does not act, and the son does the same.
At the moment, the son is becoming more and more lazy and doesn't want to study anymore, just like his husband, the dead pig is not afraid of boiling water.
She did not wronged her husband, but her son himself said that he learned from his husband, and he did what he did.
The son also has a lot of resentment towards her husband in his heart, saying that his husband doesn't care about him, and as soon as he comes home, he lies on the bed and plays with his mobile phone.
No matter how much she persuaded her son, she asked her son to study hard, but his son couldn't listen.
The son directly let her talk and asked her to stop talking nonsense, he wouldn't listen, and he hated her for being verbose and nagging.
She wanted to continue to say that her son closed the door directly and could not communicate normally.
So, she didn't know what her son really thought in his heart.
The mediator asked Mr. Yang if he knew about the child's rebellion.
Why don't you care about the children?
Mr. Yang said that he knew, but he rarely communicated with his son.
He only goes home once a week, and when he gets home, he is so tired that he just wants to rest, and he has no energy to take care of his son.
Ms. Yan interjected, and he was embarrassed to say that he was tired, he ate so fat, and his body was healthy.
She is the one who should shout tired.
Hearing his wife's count, Mr. Yang's words changed, and his son became so rebellious, in fact, it had a lot to do with his wife.
She will not educate children.
As soon as something was wrong with her son, she immediately got angry and started beating her son.
If she had spoken to her son calmly and guided him slowly, his son would not have become like this.
He told her not to beat his son, boys are prone to rebellion, and the more they beat him, the more they will do it.
The wife didn't listen.
He believes that some things are good to go with the flow, and there is no need to force them, because forcing them will only be counterproductive.
Ms. Yan laughed angrily at her husband's words, he didn't understand the situation, don't put a bad hat on her at will.
Even if she doesn't know how to educate children, she is much better than him, at least she manages the children.
She didn't beat her son as soon as she came up, she talked to her son first, but he didn't listen, so she chose to do it.
For example, the teacher told her that her son always didn't do his homework.
She will tell her son that he has to write his homework well, and if he is self-conscious, she will not supervise.
However, after patiently speaking a few times, my son still didn't write, so I could only fight at this time.
Take a stick and spank your son's buttocks.
Now, her son is in his third year of junior high school, and she generally doesn't do anything.
Unless, her son provokes her again.
To sum up, the biggest problem in their family is that the husband does not act, does not play his due role in the family, and has been absent for a long time.
Since she can't count on him, and she will only block her, of course she wants to give up on him as a person.
Mr. Yang thinks that the matter is not as serious as his wife said, the two communicate well, change the mode of getting along, he corrects the shortcomings of his body, and the life of the family can still go on.
Ms. Yan said that he was a shopkeeper, and there was no pressure, so he could naturally get by.
The problem is that she is exhausted and almost unable to hold on.
After fifteen years, she was really tired, tired and sick, and lost so much weight that she weighed only ninety pounds.
Over the years, she has been hospitalized several times, all of which are caused by overwork, and she has also fallen ill.
Even health has become her luxury, I don't know what she is trying to do all these years?
Mr. Yang said that he did not know about his wife's grievances before, and she did not say these things to him.
He thought that their lives were quite happy.
Moreover, neither of them made a mistake of principle.
The mediator believes that they just have too little communication, and when there is a rare exchange, the two do not say the key issues and do not find a way to solve them.
dragged it out and didn't care until she couldn't stand it anymore, and the woman broke out.
Ms. Yan nodded, they did lack effective communication.
He doesn't like to talk, he always keeps it in his heart, even if he says it, he can't talk about her, so he can't talk about it.
The mediator asked Ms. Yan what she was going to do next, since both of them had shortcomings.
After hesitating for a while, Ms. Yan said, let's look at the situation again, try to change the way of communication, he is willing to correct his own problems, and she will continue to live with him.
It's really not going to work, she will divorce again.