There is a saying in "Zuo Biography": "There is no way for good and evil, and it is called by people." ”
In life, the disasters and blessings we encounter are not arbitrarily determined by external forces, but are the inevitable result of our own actions, thoughts, and choices.
Cause and effect are true, and every cause we plant will produce corresponding results.
Whether it is a blessing or a curse, a good or bad fate, it ultimately depends on our own choices and actions.
If you plant diligence and kindness, then you will reap full of blessings and warmth.
If evil and laziness are sown, then the harvest will be endless calamity and suffering.
Life is short, and the appearance of these characteristics in a person is mostly a sign of life suffering.
The character is cowardly and does not dare to refuse
It has been said: "The reason for a person's failure lies in the shortcomings of his own personality, and has nothing to do with the environment." ”
It is true that we cannot deny the influence of the environment on people, but weaknesses in the character often become the key factors that determine success or failure.
A person with a cowardly personality often lacks the ability to reject others.
It is better to be wronged than to fulfill others, to give up one's own interests, but also to cater to the expectations of others.
As everyone knows, blindly seeking perfection will not bring gratitude, but will only make you more and more tired, and even cause unnecessary trouble.
Writer Li Xiaoyi shared such an experience.
At that time, her friend's relatives were sick, and because they heard that Li Xiaoyi knew an expert, they asked her to help match her.
Although Li Xiaoyi was a little hesitant, he reluctantly agreed, considering that refusal might make the other party uncomfortable.
However, after seeing the doctor, the relatives of the friend expressed dissatisfaction with the attitude of the specialist, complained that the specialist was not enthusiastic enough, and often complained.
When a friend learned about this situation, he did not express his gratitude to Li Xiaoyi, but blamed her for not doing her best to help.
In the end, Li Xiaoyi could only bear all these grievances silently, feeling helpless.
Sanmao said:
"Don't be afraid to say no to others if your reasons are right. When a person opens his mouth to make a request, he has two answers in his heart. ”
So, don't embarrass yourself in the face of other people's requests, and don't worry too much about how much harm your refusal will bring to the other person.
Everyone has their own lives and choices, and we can't meet everyone's needs.
Learning to say no appropriately is not only a form of protection for oneself, but also a form of respect for others.
You must know that people with a cowardly personality and no assertiveness are destined to have a bad life.
Negative mood and like to complain
Zeng Guofan said: "If you complain too much, you will be more suppressed later." If you complain about the sky for no reason, the sky will not allow it, and if you don't complain about it for no reason, then you will not accept it, and the reason for induction is also. ”
Those who often complain and complain for no reason often encounter more bumps and obstacles on the road of life.
Whether it's to the sky, the earth, or people, they can always find a reason to vent their dissatisfaction.
However, this negativity does not bring about any positive changes, but rather narrows their life path.
You know, complaining about God for no reason will only put you in a more passive situation.
Because Heaven doesn't change its laws because of your complaints, the more you complain, the more depressed and powerless you will become.
In the same way, complaining about others for no reason will only cause resentment and rejection from others, leading to more and more tension in one's interpersonal relationships.
There's such a story at the Hilton Hotel.
Jack and Tom joined Hilton at the same time, dreaming of a career leap forward at the prestigious hotel.
However, the reality dealt them a heavy blow - they were assigned to clean the corridors.
Faced with this arrangement, Jack was dissatisfied and complained again and again.
He thinks that the hotel does not value them and puts them in such a seemingly humble position is simply overkill.
As a result, he complained about the hotel and the manager every day, and his work began to be sloppy.
Tom, on the other hand, took a very different approach.
Although he was also confused by the arrangement, he chose to give it his all to the job.
He arrives at the company in advance every day, carefully prepares, and researches various cleaning agents to achieve the best cleaning results.
Even if it was a seemingly trivial job, he put in 100 percent of his efforts.
Four months later, Jack was fired due to a work attitude problem, while Tom was promoted to housekeeping supervisor for his outstanding performance, and his salary went up.
People who are in a negative mood and like to complain will only get worse and worse on the road of life.
After all, complaining is the most useless thing in this world, it will not solve the problem, it will only put us in a deeper predicament.
Therefore, instead of letting complaints occupy our hearts, we should choose to change.
I can't control my mouth, and I don't choose what I say
As the old saying goes, "The mouth is the door of blessing and misfortune, a word can increase blessings, and a word can attract trouble." ”
A person's words often contain the direction of his fate; A person's mouth is his feng shui, which affects his fortune and life trajectory.
Talking too much and talking too much, not only is it easy to offend others and cause unnecessary trouble, but it may also reveal your own details and make yourself passive.
Wen Tingyun, a famous lyricist in the Tang Dynasty, although he was talented, he tried repeatedly and had a bad fate.
The reason for this is closely related to his open-mouthed personality.
Once, on the way out of Wen Tingyun, he met a man with a lofty spirit.
He thinks very highly of himself, and when he sees that the other party has an extraordinary bearing, he becomes jealous and steps forward to provoke.
He sneered: "You are so majestic, could it be that you are a petty official such as Changshi and Sima?" ”
The other party shook his head in denial.
He disparaged again: "That's the position of the chief bookkeeper, county lieutenant and so on?" ”
The other party denied it again.
Seeing this, Wen Tingyun mistakenly thought that the other party was not an official, so he said viciously: "If you are not an official, how dare you be so angry?" ”
However, he never expected that this man would be Emperor Xuanzong who had paid a private visit to Weifu.
After the emperor returned to the palace, he was greatly angered by Wen Tingyun's contempt and insults, and demoted him to the rank of city captain.
This derogation made Wen Tingyun's good future come to naught in an instant, and he was depressed all his life after that, which is regrettable.
Words are like flowing water, and once they are exported, they are difficult to retract.
The power of words should not be underestimated, and they can make a difference in a career or destroy everything with ease.
The ancients Zeng Yun: "A room with many doors gives rise to wind, and a lot of words gives rise to disaster." ”
People who talk a lot often say irresponsible and even hurtful things because of the moment's speed, and they don't hold back their mouths.
How can a person who can't even control his own mouth control his own life and control his own destiny?
"Heavenly Sayings" says: "Those who do merit work by themselves, and those who suffer disasters do their own work." ”
The merits and achievements of life are all derived from their own efforts and dedication;
In the same way, those unfortunate disasters and misfortunes are often caused by one's own carelessness or poor decision-making.
People who are blessed and miserable often have a cowardly personality, negative emotions, and can't keep their mouths shut, and will only end up reaping the consequences.
Life is made by oneself, and happiness is born from the heart.
People's fate and luck depend largely on their own character, behavior, and choices.
Therefore, if you want to get rid of the "hard life", you don't need to look for answers in the outside world, you just need to start to change your heart, and everything will develop in a good direction.
Author: Han Su
A long-termist who believes in writing.
The pictures in the article come from the Internet, please contact to delete for infringement