"Talking to your parents will double your troubles, and sharing your joy with your parents will make your happiness disappear."
This is now the most real feeling of most young people about their parents' feelings, in the traditional cognition, children should be their parents' little padded jackets, but when family affection has become such a painful thing in the eyes of young people.
Recently, a grandmother confided in her grandson about her hard work in cooking: she was reluctant to turn on the air conditioner when she was too hot, and the grandmother who thought she would be comforted by her grandson was sneered: "That's because you have a bubble in your brain."
This funny conversation between grandma and grandson was on the hot search a few days ago, and many netizens commented: Isn't this the current situation of Chinese-style education?
But I didn't expect that the 18-second conversation between the grandparents and grandchildren indirectly revealed the current situation of Chinese-style sick parents.
Most of the elders still maintain the traditional thinking before liberation: I don't enjoy happiness, and I don't eat hard if I don't suffer.
There are also many netizens who bluntly said:
"Nowadays, parents are accustomed to educating their children in self-abuse and self-sacrifice, which is used to prove their greatness and emotionally PUA their children."
Judging from the clear-headed comments of netizens, most young people now only allow themselves to dominate themselves.
Recently, a blogger posted a video about "Chinese-style parents" on the Internet, which was seen by foreign netizens and thought it was an epic large-scale horror film.
Due to the headline revision, it only takes 5 seconds to unlock it for free halfway, and it is not easy to create, thank you!
But they didn't expect that yes, this suffocating family relationship mode is the status quo of most families in China.
In the video, there is a 14-year-old girl who cooks three dishes and one soup for her mother at noon, and the girl thought that her mother would praise herself when she came home, but she didn't expect to wait for her mother's criticism of her face.
My mother thinks that there are only two people in the family and girls cooking so many dishes, which is a waste of food and indiscriminate money.
Some netizens felt sorry for this girl: "Oh my God, if my mother comes home from work and cooks a table of dishes, she will definitely be happy." ”
Some netizens asserted that it is estimated that the child's self-confidence and enthusiasm in this life have been cut by more than half of his mother, and if the girl's character is inferior in the future, then the mother will have to take full responsibility.
In the video, a mother and daughter are walking home after school but keep arguing because of their children's studies, and the girl complains about her mother's various suppressions of her abilities along the way.
"If I did well in the test, you said that the test paper was simple, and if I didn't do well in the test, you said that I was not capable", just when the girl complained, her mother suddenly said, "You are very poor".
It is hard to imagine how sad the girl must have been when she heard her mother deny herself so categorically, and then the girl followed her mother in despair, without saying a word the whole time, and her steps became heavier and heavier.
Netizens commented: "In Chinese families, often family members always know how to poke you the most."
In the picture, the boy received the New Year's money, and the first time he didn't think about buying himself a game console, but rushed into the digital store to buy a new mobile phone for his mother.
When he bought a new mobile phone and came home, the boy was still hiding in his arms, wanting to surprise his mother, but he didn't expect that when the boy gave the mobile phone to his mother, he was greeted by a slashing insult.
The boy's mother showed a hideous face and said vicious language: "You hurry up and return it to me, why do you spend money so unconscionably."
The mother's words made the boy's heart cold, but he didn't expect the boy's carefully selected gift to become a waste of money in the eyes of the mother, and finally the boy could only return the mobile phone.
After the boy was emotionally PUA by his mother, when the mother was old, would the boy dare to be good to his mother? It can only be said that what parents plant when they are young, what they get when they are old.
According to the survey, the high incidence of depression in China is students under the age of 18, and the main reason for student depression is mostly from interpersonal relationships, followed by family and relatives.
Now that children's depression index is getting higher and higher, will such parents really be recognized?
Some time ago, the news of a 13-year-old boy suffering from severe depression was hotly discussed by netizens, in the news, a little boy was lying on a hospital bed with his back to his mother, while the mother was still chattering and blaming the child.
"What do you can't think about and you're still depressed, I've spent all the money I earned for you, and you're still depressed, so what should I do, just stop living? You've killed me. ”
Parents are chattering in life to vent their negative emotions to their children, they are "happy", but the children are depressed, and parents are still accusing their children of being too weak to resist pressure.
Seeing the scene of this parent counting at the bedside seems to see how depressed the child is in this family. Obviously, this boy is only 13 years old, but he has been instilled with the idea that the family is poor and does not cause trouble since he was a child.
Many netizens said: Through the suffocating education method of this parent, the child was only depressed but did not commit suicide, which shows that the child's psychological quality is already very strong.
Some netizens pointed out that most of the current family conflicts seem to come from financial pressure, and Mr. Yu Hua said one by one:
"Most poor families are not harmonious, because the cost of making mistakes is too high, and after being sick and hospitalized, my mother is not concerned about whether her body can bear it, but how much it costs to go to the hospital."
"Or go to the fruit store to buy fruit and be loudly accused by my mother that the fruit in the vegetable market is so cheap that you can't eat it."
Even a mature adult can't stand these words, let alone a child, so that's why the children don't come home when the parents are old, who wants to stay in a family full of oppressive atmosphere?
However, it is worth pondering why the parents are sick, but the children pay for it.
Some netizens even feel that the most important thing to learn now is parents rather than children, and gorgeous flowers will bloom in a loving environment, but roses will not bloom in a loveless environment.
There is a saying that the appearance of parents is the appearance of children, which means "I became my parents, and my children will eventually become me", which explains the theory of intergenerational transmission of trauma in layman's terms.
There is such an example in the video released by the Shenzhen Health Commission, a little girl was accused by her mother of "how did I give birth to such a useless thing as you" because she failed the exam.
At that time, the little girl was very distressed when she heard her mother's words, so she secretly made up her mind: "I don't think I will be such a parent in the future."
But I didn't expect that when the girl grew up, she became the same person as her mother, and when her child's test score was too low, she also said the same thing: "Everyone else can get a high score, why can't you take the test, how can I give birth to something so useless as you."
The girl was "mutilated" by her mother when she was a child, and after all, she still lived as she hated the most, and it is hard to imagine how distorted the children of the offspring should be when the family enters this vicious circle.
For the kind of open family abroad, this traditional Chinese education method may be really unacceptable, in fact, it is understandable that parents grew up in an era of lack of material conditions, so they treat their children with the same education method of their time.
But now the environment is different after all, if the parents' education will not keep pace with the times, will the effect of education be counterproductive for children?
Information sources:
A video posted by the personal account "Like Your Style" about cooking for your grandson
On December 5, 2023, the Shenzhen Health Commission released a video of "Chinese-style parents";
The personal account "Meng Sha Sauce" posted a video of "Chinese-style parents" on Bilibili on June 21, 2024;
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