When you praise your child like this, you actually hurt your child! In China's education system, parents pay a high level of attention to their children's grades. In order to ensure that their children are invincible in a competitive society, many parents have adopted various rewards and punishments. However, in the process, some parents ignore one thing: their so-called "praise" is actually hurting their own children.
First, "praise" may make your child dependent on external evaluations. Many parents like to use words like "great, amazing, really smart" to describe their children. While these compliments may sound wonderful, they can lead to a child's growing reliance on others to evaluate their abilities and behaviors. If a person habitually defines himself as what others see in his eyes, then he will lose the endogenous motivation that he should have.
Second, "praise" can make the child anxious and nervous. When parents always expect their children to excel and give them plenty of rewards, these little mental games may be a way to motivate students. However, with the passage of time, the continuous reduction of the quality of "praise" will affect the mentality and daily behavior habits of each student. Especially when facing exams and competitions, students are afraid of losing "praise", which can lead to anxiety and even physical discomfort.
Finally, "praise" can hinder a child's ability to develop creative thinking and problem-solving skills. The "praise" approach is usually only about how the result is achieved, and does not think about the problem itself and how to solve it on a deeper level. "It's like I'm going to solve the problem by any means." This means that a fixed pattern is established in the minds of the person being praised – that success can be achieved by following a known method of solving a problem.
While we can't deny the effectiveness of positive feedback in helping children build confidence, answering questions correctly and accurately and guiding them to activities is more effective than verbal encouragement. The more complex and flexible the means, the more conducive to cultivating children's creativity and independent thinking.
In short, in the process of education, we should pay attention to the rational use of "praise", not overemphasize external rewards, and pay more attention to students' internal motivation and positive development direction. The goal should be to "develop a personalized mindset", not to "strive for perfect results". In shaping the future leaders of the new era, we must pay attention to cultivating students to become high-quality individuals with innovative spirit, global vision, intercultural communication skills, and good moral character.