There is a saying:
"Companionship is the best education for children, and education is nothing but companionship in different ways."
On the road of children's growth from childhood to adulthood, the company of parents must not be missing, and it is precisely because of this companionship that the relationship between each other is more harmonious and the child's character is sound.
I've seen such a little story.
When a mother participated in an event, she said that she was very touched to see her daughter write an essay.
In this essay, the daughter recorded that she had a failed exam when she was a child, which caused her to be very depressed, and her mother did not blame herself, but just sat beside her and talked to her all the time, which made her feel very warm.
Mom said that she didn't remember such a small thing, but she didn't expect it to be deeply imprinted in her heart, and it also made her not easily retreat in the face of setbacks, which had a huge impact on her growth.
To be honest, for parents, the trivial things that they have long forgotten around their children, they can always keep in their hearts and never forget.
It is precisely these little things that constitute the decisive factor for children to go left and right when they grow up, and they must not be easily ignored.
This is also an important aspect of measuring whether a parent is competent.
Specifically, the biggest stupidity of a pair of parents is to miss the 3 moments of their children's growth and exhaust each other's blessings.
1 The child needs moments of affirmation
Strictly speaking, the process of forming a child's self-perception in the process of growing up is often from the evaluation of others.
Further, it is more from the parents' evaluation of themselves.
If parents are absent from the moments when their children need affirmation during their child's growth, and their evaluation of their child is always indifferent, or often negative, then in addition to not helping the child's growth, it will also bring great trauma to the parent-child relationship.
Writer Sanmao has recorded her father in her writings more than once, and in her memory, her father has always been an unsmiling image, no matter what she does, she has never given affirmation and praise, but always shows negation and criticism to her.
This kind of behavior has become an indelible wound for Sanmao's life, and it has also made his character inferiority complex and timid.
In fact, for children, they crave the affirmation of their parents all their lives, but in exchange for ruthless criticism and accusations.
To be a visionary parent, is not to miss the moment of affirmation in the child's growth, even if it is a trivial thing, you can also give positive praise, to really convey a layer of meaning:
Child, you are the best in our hearts.
Only through warm and encouraging recognition and affirmation can we help children become confident, optimistic, and strong insiders, and will also make the parent-child relationship more intimate.
2 Children need warm moments at home
When children can perceive the warmth of the family, they will often grow up to be a responsible person for the family;
On the contrary to you, if he has not felt the warmth of the family since he was a child, then he will be more indifferent and resistant to the family when he grows up, and he will not be able to run his own family well.
Therefore, for parents, never be absent from the moment when the child needs family warmth, and create a sense of ritual more in the ordinary days to let the child's memory have more warm memories of the family.
For example, during the Chinese New Year, the family gathers together to talk and laugh, or decorate the home together, or go to a sumptuous dinner together......
Don't underestimate the small fortunes of these ordinary lives, it is precisely because of the existence of these companionships that they will become the best memories of the family in the children's minds.
The most important thing is that when parents can be with their children through these companionship behaviors, they can often feel the importance of the family on the road of life, and will also let them experience happiness and joy from the management and responsibility of the family.
If some parents never give their children memories of family warmth when they are growing up, it will also make the child a person who does not value the family, and it will also lead to a more indifferent relationship between parents and children.
3 Moments when children need security
The first sense of security on the road of children's growth does not come from the outside world, but from their parents.
Because children's trust in their parents is unconditional, young children always like to hold their parents when they sleep, because parents can bring them a sense of security.
However, if parents are absent when they need security in their children's development, it can become timidity and low self-esteem for their children, and it can also make the relationship between parents and children become thin on ice.
The fairy tale king Zheng Yuanjie wrote such a story.
The girl Liang Xin was wronged by her classmates for stealing a fountain pen, and the teacher asked her to admit her mistake to the other party without saying the reason.
But Liang Xin resolutely did not apologize, because she said that she did not steal, and she told the teacher to let her parents come to school.
For many children, the most fearful thing is that their parents come to school to find teachers, but Liang Xin took the initiative to let his parents come to school because his parents are his backers, and his parents can bring him a sense of security.
It is because of the trust between each other that the relationship between parents and children is closer.
In this case, smart parents will often say to their children, "Don't be afraid, there is me", the purpose is to hope that the child can be full of courage on the way forward, let him know that his parents are his dearest people, and always give him support and help.
When children can grow up with the sense of security brought by their parents, they will let themselves not be afraid of difficulties and move forward.
4 Uncle Zhihe said
The most far-sighted parents will never be absent from important moments in their children's lives, because they know that behind these things, they represent their own correct view of education, which can make their children's future more promising.
When parents will not be absent from the moment when their children need affirmation, then companionship will give them the strength and courage to grow, so that they have the confidence to move forward from an early age, and they will not easily deny themselves when they grow up.
When parents will not be absent from the moment when their children need the warmth of the family, then they will give their children a happy growth process, let them feel the warmth of the family, make themselves a responsible person, and be more capable of running their own family when they grow up.
When parents are not absent from the moment when their children need safety, then from an early age they will be closer to their parents, and under the sense of security that their parents bring to them, they will often become a confident person, a person who dares to affirm themselves.
May your children become the best version of themselves on the road of life, not only able to have a close relationship with their parents, but also to move forward bravely in armor, live up to expectations, and have a long journey!
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