Hello there! I'm Wenwen's dad!
To be honest, in the past few years of growing up with the baby, many of my daughter's behaviors have both made me angry and confused, especially when she turned a deaf ear to what she said, she wanted to give her a beating.
I don't know if you've ever experienced a similar scenario:
When you go to the supermarket, you patiently say to your baby, "Don't touch these fragile goods." ”
But as soon as you finished speaking, her little hand reached for the bottles on the shelf.
When eating, you repeatedly emphasise: "Concentrate on eating, don't play with toys." ”
However, she felt as if she was in another world, and the toys in her hands were still spinning, ignoring what you said.
In the park, you warned her many times, "Don't run too far, stay where your mother can see." ”
But the child is like a wild horse that runs away as soon as it slips away, leaving you anxiously in the same place.
Whenever this happens, I wonder: why does my daughter always turn a deaf ear to what I say? However, an unexpected discovery gave me a new insight into "how to make the baby obedient" - it turns out that chatting with husband and wife is the magic weapon to make children obedient, and I can't wait to share it with everyone.
Some time ago, my wife was going on a business trip from Chengdu to Beijing, and she asked me if I should bring my children with me?
I remembered the painful experience of the first time I flew from Chengdu to Beijing, and the first half of the flight was fine.
The second half of the journey was a nightmare for me, I couldn't breathe, especially when the plane landed, I was dizzy and tinnitus and vomited.
Then I was worried that my daughter would do the same, so I shook my head and said I didn't want to fly.
Unexpectedly, this sentence was overheard by her daughter, and she was convinced that she would vomit when she took a plane. After that, her father asked her if she wanted to fly together, and she replied: It's very uncomfortable to fly, and she will get dizzy and vomit!
Just when I was surprised by her father, I remembered a sentence from teacher Zeng Shiqiang: "The best way to teach a child is to chat with the husband and wife, rather than teach him directly." ”
Teacher Zeng Shiqiang's words made my wife and I feel empowered, as if we had suddenly opened a new door to accompany the baby.
Many times, if I tell my daughter directly, "You want to do this and that," she will usually be skeptical or resistant, and in severe cases, parent-child conflicts will break out and damage the parent-child relationship.
But if you integrate what you want to say to her, the principles and rules you want to instill in her, into the conversation of the couple's chat, so that she overhears it, she is not only easy to accept, but also convinced, and the effect is surprisingly good.
For this method, Wen Wen's father's practice method is as follows, although some are deliberately guided, but the effect is really good, share with you:
(1) Let the child concentrate on eating and not look at the phone?
During dinner, my father pretended to look at his mobile phone, so I reminded him in a whisper: wife, you should concentrate on eating, looking at your mobile phone will affect digestion, let's not miss this time, let's watch it after eating!
Then, Dad will be very cooperative to put down his phone and concentrate on eating. After saying this twice, as long as my daughter sees anyone eating and looking at her phone, she will immediately come out to stop it, and since then, she has been very attentive to eating and will not think about playing with toys.
(2) Let your child clean up the toys on the floor?
After meeting a neighbor chatting in the community, I deliberately mentioned it at home: "I met Sister Li downstairs with a bag of toys and threw it away, saying that the child didn't clean it up after playing, and it was all over the ground, so she threw all the toys away in a fit of anger." ”
The wife said: "Yes, it's really annoying that I don't clean up after playing, but our daughter won't be like this, every time she finishes playing with toys, she will clean it up, which makes it very comfortable for people to watch." ”
This sentence happened to be heard by her daughter, and since then, every time she finishes playing with toys, she cleans up and goes to someone else's house, and after playing, she will return to its original place.
(3) Let children eat less snacks?
After the final exam, the school teacher gave each child a large bag of snacks, and after seeing that her daughter ate two bags, she had no intention of stopping at all.
Dad covered his cheeks with his hands, pretended to have a toothache, and then said uncomfortably: "Maybe I've eaten too much sugar and chocolate these days, why do my teeth hurt so much!" ”
I said, "If we eat too much sugar and chocolate, worms will grow on our teeth, and small insects will eat at our teeth, and the more we go at night, the worse it gets, and we will be so painful that we can't sleep."
After her daughter heard this, although she didn't say anything at the time, she ate chocolate and candy significantly less often.
(4) Do you want your child to help with housework?
On the weekend, my wife and I were planning to clean the house, and I said: Our daughter is very caring, and she helped me wash the dishes last time, and she washed them very cleanly.
The wife replied: Yes, you see how clean she tidied up her desk, the books are neatly placed on the shelves, and the pen is also in the pen holder, what a sensible and good child!
When my daughter heard this, she immediately got up and went to tidy up her desk, and said that she could help sweep the floor.
Mother's Message:
When couples chat, they should also pay attention to the division of labor, Wenwen's father's experience is that if the child is instilled with principles and rules, the effect will be better for the mother.
Research from Stanford University School of Medicine found that children's brains respond particularly strongly to their mother's voice. Mom's voice activates several brain regions in a child's brain, including the brain region responsible for language signal processing and the reward system.
This indicates that the child has a special attention and preference for the mother's voice. When the mother speaks the words of indoctrination, the child can listen more easily.
Therefore, parents who are still struggling with how to make their children obedient can try the method of chatting between husband and wife, so that children can be educated unconsciously in the chat between husband and wife, and the effect is often twice the result with half the effort.