In 1954, a special life was born in Shanghai. Pan Hong was born in this world with a quarter of Russian ancestry, a name that would later shine in the Chinese film and television industry. Her grandfather is Russian and her father is of mixed Chinese and Russian descent, and this unique gene gives her amazing beauty, but it also makes her the beginning of a childhood nightmare.
Pan Hong's family life is full of turmoil. When she was very young, her father chose to separate from her mother, claiming that it was to not affect her mother. This decision left the young Pan Hong and the second sister to be raised by their mother, while the third sister lived with her father.
The split in the family cast a shadow on Pan Hong's young mind and planted the seeds of her extreme insecurity in the future.
The blows of fate followed, and when Pan Hong was ten years old, the bad news that his father committed suicide by taking medicine came. The girl, who had just stepped into her teenage years, had to take a train alone to bring her father's ashes back to her hometown in Harbin.
That lonely journey seemed to indicate her bumpy life path in the future, and it also left eternal pain in her heart.
The remarriage of her mother, who was supposed to bring hope, brought great pain to Pan Hong. Her mother gave birth to a little sister for her, which made Pan Hong feel even more isolated. In that special era, her bloodline became the source of her ridicule and exclusion.
The discrimination and exclusion of her classmates made her feel tormented, and every ridicule and every roll of her eyes left a deep scar on her young heart.
In this way, Pan Hong grew up in an environment full of uneasiness and hurt. There is always a trace of melancholy in her eyes, as if telling the endless pain in her heart. This experience became an indelible imprint on her character, and it also became the root of her pursuit of perfection and desire for security in the future.
Pan Hong's tragic childhood laid a complex and profound tone for her life, and also laid the groundwork for her future achievements on the road of art.
In 1973, Pan Hong entered the doors of the Shanghai Theater Academy full of hope, a decision that became an important turning point in her life. Here, she found a stage to release herself and show her talents, and vented and sublimated the grievances and uneasiness that had accumulated in her youth in the performance.
After graduation, Pan Hong was assigned to Shanghai Film Studio and began her acting career.
She threw herself into every role and wanted to incorporate her life experiences into it, and her performances were delicate and moving, and she quickly won the recognition of audiences and industry insiders.
Pan Hong's acting career is like a rising star, rising rapidly. Her performance in the movie "The Slave's Daughter" not only made her a huge success in her career, but also contributed to her beautiful love with Mi Jiashan.
The two fell in love because of the drama and opened a new chapter in her life.
Time flies, Pan Hong's art career is thriving, and she has won the award softly! Heavyweight awards such as the Little Hundred Flowers Award, the Academy Award, and the Damascus International Film Festival Award are like bright stars embellishing her acting career.
Each trophy is an affirmation of her artistic attainments and a reward for her hard work.
Pan Hong's career is thriving, attracting widespread attention, and her drama appointments are coming one after another, keeping her busy with her feet. However, deep down she still longs for security and genuine love, and she pours all her passion into her career, as if only sustained success can fill the emptiness in her heart.
However, this extreme pursuit of perfection has laid hidden dangers for her future married life. Pan Hong's fanaticism for his career and Mi Jiashan's desire for family became more and more ambitious, and gradually contradictions appeared.
This contradiction eventually became the fuse for her divorce.
Despite this, Pan Hong's achievements in the acting career cannot be ignored, and she has left a deep mark on the Chinese film and television industry through her talent and hard work, becoming one of the brightest stars of that era.
At the Shanghai Film Studio in 1978, Pan Hong met Mi Jiashan. Mijiashan, which is not outstanding in appearance, has brought Pan Hong an unprecedented sense of security. The appearance of Mijiashan seems to have found a harbor for Pan Hong's wandering heart.
Although the outside world's evaluation of this marriage is "a flower inserted in cow dung", for Pan Hong, Mijiashan is the one who can shelter her from the wind and rain and solve all her problems.
Mi Jiashan is 8 years older than Pan Hong, mature and steady, and gives her the care of her like a father. Pan Hong once said in an interview that Mi Jiashan made her experience the feeling of a father, was able to solve all her troubles for her, and gave her a strong sense of security.
Pan Hong has always lacked fatherly love when she was a child, so this feeling is very precious to her.
However, life after marriage did not go well. When Pan Hong starred in the movie "Annoying Laughter", there was an affair with the director. After Yang Yanjin's wife Hong Rong learned about it, she made a fuss in the studio, and even posted the scandal between Pan Hong and Yang Yanjin on the bulletin board, which made them lose face.
In the face of this turmoil, Mi Jiashan showed a strong desire to protect, he rushed to Yang Yanjin's house to make a big fuss, and did not hesitate to conflict with the other party, vowing to defend his wife's reputation.
However, Pan Hong's career gradually climbed, and the contradictions between the two also unconsciously breeded. 40-year-old Mi Jiashan is eager to have a child, and hopes that Pan Hong can appropriately reduce drama appointments at this time and focus on family.
However, Pan Hong is at the peak of her career and can't stop, she stubbornly believes that her career is her confidence, and she can't accept interrupting her career for childbirth.
Mi Jiashan used 8 desk calendars to record their married life of gathering less and leaving more, and every time Pan Hong went home, he would draw a circle on the date. After 8 years of marriage, there are only more than 380 circles on the calendar, which means that they have only been together for one year.
This shocking number became the last straw that crushed this marriage.
Eventually, the couple, who had loved each other, came to a divorce after eight years of marriage. Mi Jiashan filed for divorce, and the arrogant Pan Hong resolutely refused to bow his head. The end of this marriage made Pan Hong feel the biggest regret in her life.
Looking back many years later, she realized that she had missed a man who really knew how to cherish and love her, and the failure of this marriage also made her feel remorse in her later years.
Pan Hong devoted all her energy to her career after the divorce, and she climbed the peak of her acting career at an astonishing speed. Soon, she easily won eight awards and became a veritable actress.
Her plays are about one after another, and she is so busy that her feet do not touch the ground, however, the brilliance of her career cannot fill the emptiness in her heart.
During this time, there was a relationship between Pan Hong and the painter Han Meilin. During Han Meilin's illness and hospitalization, Pan Hong took the initiative to take care of him and touched him with his inner feelings, and the relationship between the two warmed up.
Although Han Meilin proposed to Pan Hong, Pan Hong hesitated because of the marital frustration she had experienced, and finally chose to reject this relationship, which is undoubtedly a regret in Pan Hong's life.
Pan Hong once said in an interview when she was young that she would not give up looking for love, and if she found true love, she would keep her long hair and let everyone know that she had found true love.
However, with the passage of time, her hair has never been able to grow, and even if she needs to style her hair long in film and television works, she always chooses to wear a wig, which seems to silently tell her inner loneliness.
At the peak of her career, Pan Hong lost herself. She puts all her energy into her work, believing that only constant success can prove her worth. However, she neglected other important aspects of her life, especially the opportunity to start a family.
This persistent pursuit of perfection eventually led to regret and regret in her later years.
Pan Hong's story reminds us that success in a career is not exactly the same as a complete life. While pursuing a career, we cannot ignore our emotional needs and the importance of family life.
Maintaining a balance between career and life is perhaps a topic that everyone needs to think about.
In 2015, Pan Hong, who has entered the age of sixtieth year, talked publicly about her marriage for the first time in the "Art Life" program hosted by Zhu Jun. Her eyes were full of memories, and her tone was full of regret.
"Now I understand," she whispered, "that when an actress reaches a certain age, she should give up something and pursue perfection too much, but she will leave regrets."
When talking about her ex-husband Mi Jiashan, Pan Hong has always praised him. Her tone was full of tenderness and nostalgia, as if that marriage had happened yesterday. Pan Hong admits that although she has never had a child in her life, she now often imagines that if she had a child, she would definitely be a conscientious mother.
This belated motherhood made her feel even more sorry for the past time.
In 2016, Pan Hong was taking care of her sick mother in the hospital, and her inner loneliness continued to grow. The responsibilities that should have been borne by the children, such as serving tea and pouring water, paying for and taking tablets, all fell on her alone at the moment.
She couldn't help but imagine in a trance, "If she had agreed to Mi Jiashan's proposal and had a child after a year or two, the two would not have divorced, and now her children should be very old" This assumption made her feel even more painful about the price of the decision back then.
In the twilight of her life, Pan Hong chose to take refuge in Buddhism. She lives a life of fasting and reciting Buddha every day, seeking inner peace in the meditation of the Dharma. This may be her redemption for the past and her expectations for the future.
Pan Hong wrote in her book: "My biggest goal is to be able to arrange my life as I want and live as I like. This sentence is not only like a summary of her life, but also an expectation for the future.
She tried to resolve her inner regret and pain through the wisdom of the Dharma.
Pan Hong's insights in her later years reflect many common problems in life. The balance between career and family, and the conflict between personal pursuits and social expectations, all require us to think deeply.
Her story teaches us that at every stage of life, we should think carefully about our choices, because every decision can affect the trajectory of our lives in the future.
Pan Hong's life is full of ups and downs like a movie. She went from a discriminated childhood to a halo actress all the way. After the sweet newlywed life, he experienced a regretful parting.
On the road to perfection, she went through a lot, and finally found a peaceful and casual life in her later years, and her experience staged a profound drama about life choices for us.
Looking back, Pan Hong deeply realized that life should not only pursue temporary perfection. She understands that at the peak of her career, women may be able to make appropriate sacrifices for their families, which is not a betrayal of self, but a comprehensive plan for life.
She said with emotion: "Only by pursuing an ordinary in time can we have a more complete life" This sentence interprets her new experience and understanding of life.
In the end, Pan Hong chose to accept the past and look forward to the future. Her Buddhist life may be a kind of redemption for her attachment to the past. As she puts it, she wants to be able to "arrange your life as you please" and "live as you please".
This attitude reflects the wisdom she has gained after experiencing the ups and downs of life.
Pan Hong's story shows us the importance of pursuing career success while also not neglecting other important aspects of life. Finding a balance in life may be the greatest success in life.