The game is not a flood beast

A small package of hemp

2024-07-02 14:51Creator in the field of parenting

A few days ago, I watched a hot search: the child played the egg boy party game and recharged more than 6,000 in 10 minutes, and when the father learned the news, he was so angry that he slapped himself several times on the spot.

The heat of this matter has not passed, and another scammer pretended to be the customer service of the egg boy party game to induce the child to transfer money, but fortunately, the child's mother found out in time and avoided a financial loss.

I deliberately went to the Internet to pick it up, and similar large-amount game recharges for minors are not cases, and many parents have experienced similar situations.

- "38,000 yuan was deducted in a few hours!"

- "Hundreds of yuan will be deducted in seconds, and parents have no way to refund"

Originally, parents were "talking about the color change of the game", but now they are actually tricking their children to charge money, and for a while, NetEase and Egg Boy Party have become the cusp of public opinion.

Recently, a friend has always asked me, "Do you care about your children's games?" ”

To be honest, I have never been against my two children playing games, I also help them choose games and guide them to think in games. Because I think that the main culprit of children's addiction to games is not the game company, but the problem with family education.

Why do I never ban my child from playing games?

First of all, each era has its own "games" that are unique to each era.

I remember when I was a child, although there were no such online games, we were very popular to read comic books, such as Akira Toriyama's Dragon Ball and Doraemon, which were the "hard currency" of class interpersonal communication.

I don't know about others, anyway, when I was a child, I used to take advantage of the whole family to sleep and read comics under the covers with a flashlight.

Because there is only one comic book, the whole class will pass it on and read it. If you can't watch it in class or at home in broad daylight, you will definitely be confiscated by teachers and parents, who see it as "drugs that delay learning and don't do your job".

The post-80s and post-90s generation, who peeked at comics at the beginning, were once called the "Beat Generation" by the post-60s and 70s generation, and now they have grown into the mainstay of society.

In fact, nothing is going to ruin a certain generation, and today's children are just turning comic books into games, so take it easy.

Of course, as a parent, I also understand everyone's psychology: I am afraid that my child will be addicted to games and delay his studies. Coupled with all kinds of propaganda on the Internet about Yang Yongxin and the Internet addiction instructor, it is inevitable to "talk about the game".

In this day and age, if you want to say that you don't let your children touch mobile phones, it's impossible.

Children don't have discernment, but parents do. There are so many games on the Internet, and not all of them are "flood beasts".

Many games are full of aesthetics and technology, in which children can exercise spatial thinking, imagination, etc., for example, I downloaded these games for Xiaoxiaobao:

- Monument Valley

Aesthetic Super Online is a game that I can't help but play when I have time. This game requires a lot of attention and spatial imagination from children.

- Takumi

This game can be called the ceiling of domestic mortise and tenon games. Exercise the ability of "plane graphic reasoning" and "three-dimensional graphic assembly".

These two abilities are the most important in "some" exams, and everyone who understands them understands them.

- Minecraft

An online game that has been popular for more than ten years, with strong social attributes, Xiaoxiaobao has been chatting with his partners for a while around "Minecraft".

The last and most important reason why I never interfere with my child's play is that play is the "only" emotional outlet for a small group of children, or at a certain stage of the child's game, remember!

Why?

From a psychological point of view, if a person repeats a certain event in life, this thing must be meaningful to him-

or what helped him gain;

or helped him avoid something;

Or a combination of the above two possibilities.

Many children who are addicted to games are children who have encountered difficulties at school or at home and have no sense of accomplishment.

They can only enjoy "cared for, free, empowering feelings" in the virtual world that they don't have in their real world.

However, if you rudely block the only exit at this time, the child will naturally look elsewhere for the exit. And sneaky, don't let you know, and by the time you find out, it may be too late.

The game is not a flood beast

Games shouldn't be "electronic parents"

As a parent, I understand how people feel: sometimes they just want to be "quiet". If you say 10,000 words "I want to be quiet", it is better to throw your mobile phone to your child and the world will be silent for a second.

To be honest, I do it occasionally. But many people use mobile phones as "electronic parents", allowing children to play unlimitedly and without interference, which should not be.

Because the prefrontal lobe, which is responsible for rational thinking, is not yet mature, and in the face of the temptation of the game world, the child has no ability to discriminate and cannot act rationally.

When you throw your phone at a child, it's like pushing a child who can't swim into the sea.

So what to do?

- I'll make a request for her

My bottom line for playing games for children is: first, don't delay the break!

If I find myself hiding in the house while sleeping and secretly playing, I will be fined for a month and not allowed to touch it.

Second, don't delay learning!

Children can't touch their phones from Monday to Friday unless they need to look up learning materials. On weekends, there is a limit of 1 hour of game time every day, and if he wants to play in a team, he must be a classmate or friend, and try not to team up with strangers.

- I'll make her think

"No kid can escape my design", is the phrase of a game planner who earns millions a year.

It may sound like a lot of hatred for parents, but rather than venting their frustrations, I would rather let my children think in games.

For example, I often talk to my children

"Which part of this game do you like the most, and why?"

"Your group lost today's game, have you thought about the reason?"

"How do you assign roles? What kind of teammates are you looking for to team with? ”

Games are the most aware of human nature. You ask your child to change their role, think about play from a higher perspective, and develop their "game metacognition". When children understand the design principles behind the game, they are less likely to become addicted to it.

- I'll give her an "alternative"

In terms of "what to play", I will guide my children to play some games that exercise their thinking, such as Minecraft, Craftsman, etc., which I mentioned above.

In addition, I have also increased the time for "offline socialization", taking my child to the wild and exercising, encouraging him and his friends to socialize offline, returning from the online virtual world to the real world, and returning to the basic water, mud, and fire, which should arouse people's strong interests and hobbies.

Improve his socialization skills, such as the ability to interact with people, the ability to deal with people, and the ability to work in a team in real life.

Keep his brain awake to these stimuli, willing to get a kind of reward from the various elements of the natural world.

- I will stand aside with my child and teach him to discern

The feelings of being obsessed with different things are essentially the same.

Children who have experienced addiction in the game and successfully liberated themselves will be more likely to come out of it once they become addicted to other things in the future. So I think the sooner this addictive experience starts, the better.

There is only one reason: now is the time for him to pay the least.

I have a relative who saw her friend smoking when she was an adolescent, and she was curious and wanted to try it. After being found out by her mother, not only did she not criticize him, but she also took the initiative to share the embarrassing story of her first smoking when she was young, and asked her to try it, as long as she is not addicted, because it is not good for her health.

Mom accepted, understood, and gave a bottom line, allowing her to explore relatively freely, but it made her lose her previous curiosity about smoking.

So you see, always stand aside with your child and let your child know that "we are in this together", so that your child will not hide his behavior for fear of being scolded.

Maintaining a smooth communication channel and guiding children to distinguish between right and wrong and keep the bottom line can actually solve problems better.

After all, no parent wants serious consequences, and they are still in the dark.

After so many years of education, I think that "all the problems encountered in children's growth are not problems", but the "labor pains" that must be experienced in growth, and a good parent-child relationship and a harmonious family atmosphere are the best "antidotes" to relieve labor pains.

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