Hello everyone, I'm Lao Zhou, 58 years old this year. Today, I would like to talk to you about my mental journey over the years, hoping to give some inspiration to my peers.
Since I was a child, my father Zhou Dashan has been a traditional "head of the family". In his eyes, family tradition is more important than anything else, and he has to nod his head for big and small things in the family. Growing up in this environment, to be honest, I felt like I was being weighed down by a dark cloud and out of breath.
Although my mother disagreed, she was powerless to change anything. She always whispered to me: "O founding a country, you have to live your own life." Unfortunately, under my dad's strength, this sound more like a helpless sigh.
In this way, I grew up with my father's expectations and my mother's helplessness. It wasn't until I was 58 years old that my father talked to me and said that he wanted me to inherit the family business and maintain the traditions and honor of the Zhou family. He spoke as if it were a matter of course.
But this time, I decided not to be silent anymore. I told him that if he really supported me, I had one condition – and that was to give me the freedom to choose my lifestyle. I want an ordinary but my own life, not bound by so-called tradition.
When I said this, I had almost exhausted all my life's courage. My dad was silent for a long time, and the air seemed to freeze.
But I know that this is my first step in my quest for freedom, and I will not regret it no matter what the outcome is.
Later, I used my savings to rent a two-bedroom apartment in the east of the city for 1,800 per month. I got a job as a clerk in a private company with a monthly salary of 5,000. Although the income is not high, I feel happier and more satisfied than I have ever been.
I started to have time to read, go for walks, and hang out with friends. This kind of ordinary life is exactly what I have always longed for.
However, there are always surprises in life. One day, I got a call saying that my dad was sick and wanted me to go back and see it.
When I heard the news, I had mixed feelings. After much hesitation, I decided to go back and have a look. After all, blood is thicker than water, and no matter how big the contradiction is, it can't erase family affection.
When I stepped into the house again and saw my gray-haired, much thinner father, I was not happy. What I didn't expect was that my father actually apologized to me.
He said he regretted that he had tied me too much and didn't understand my choice. He begged me to stay and accompany him on his last journey.
Listening to my father's hoarse voice, I suddenly felt a warmth that I had never felt before. After much consideration, I decided to put aside my past grievances and stay with him.
Since then, my relationship with my father has slowly improved. We started getting to know each other and sharing our ideas.
Although life is still dull, there is a deep feeling in this blandness, which makes me realize the deeper meaning of life.
In the days of taking care of my father, the gap between us gradually melted. Every night, I would sit on the edge of his bed and listen to him tell stories from his youth.
He talks about the turbulent years of the '60s, the experience of teaching in the countryside, and the process of meeting and loving his mother.
These stories gave me a new understanding of my father and his original purpose for sticking to the family tradition.
At the same time, I also confided in him my thoughts and pursuits. Although we have different views, we have learned to respect each other. This time has become the most precious memory between our father and son.
However, the good times were short-lived. One spring afternoon, my father suddenly fell into a coma and was rushed to the hospital. The doctor told me that his days were numbered.
In the last moments of his life, my father held my hand and weakly said his last wish—that I would continue to uphold the honor of my family.
After my father left, I began to sort through his belongings. In the drawer of the study of the old house, I found a will with my name written on it, as well as a record of family responsibilities. In the face of this sudden responsibility, I have mixed feelings in my heart.
I began to think about how to inherit the responsibilities of the family without losing myself, and how to find a balance between tradition and modernity.
After much deliberation, I decided to take a more open and inclusive approach to this responsibility. I learned that responsibility and freedom are not contradictory, and that the burden of the family can be a driving force for progress, not just a constraint.
I started trying to find new ways to pass on the family spirit. For example, I invested part of the funds in my family business in environmental projects, which not only maintained the growth of the company, but also contributed to society. I have also set up a family foundation to support aspiring young people to pursue their dreams.
I have also taken a more open-minded approach to homeschooling. I encourage the children to pursue their own interests, but at the same time let them learn about the history and responsibilities of the family.
I believe that it is only by allowing the next generation to grow up in freedom that they can truly understand and voluntarily assume the responsibilities of the family.
Over the years, I have come to realize that tradition is not an immutable dogma, but the crystallization of wisdom that needs to evolve with the times.
True inheritance is not simply to copy the past, but to give it a new meaning while retaining the essence.
Looking back on this experience, I am filled with emotion. From the initial rebellion to the final understanding, from the pursuit of personal freedom to the assumption of family responsibilities, it is a painful but necessary process of growth. I learned that the honor of the family and the pursuit of the individual are not in conflict, the key is how to balance.
Today, I still maintain a simple lifestyle, but I am also trying to fulfill my family responsibilities. I think that's probably the last thing my father wanted to see.
To those who have had a similar experience to me, I would like to say: don't be afraid to talk to tradition, and don't give up on your quest easily.
There must be a balance between respecting tradition and pursuing oneself. Finding this balance may be the mission of our generation.
In conclusion, I would like to say that no matter how times change, the love and tolerance between family members will always be the most precious.
Let's move forward hand in hand, face every challenge in life with wisdom and courage, and write the legendary story of our generation together.