The grief of an adult is like eating a fish, accidentally eating a small cartilaginous fish spine, swallowing it and sticking it in the throat, spit it out, and hypocrisy.
Looking at the clouds outside the window, the dull heat of the air, the noise of cicadas and the muddy smell of summer storms, Xin Yao had an indescribable sense of suffocation.
She knew that this feeling of suffocation had nothing to do with the day outside, and what she liked most most was the feeling of the mountain rain coming and the wind filling the building. The reason why I am particularly depressed today is because of his husband, a man with a short temper and emotional instability. If it's a big fart, there is a tendency for him to turn the world upside down without making trouble.
For such a marriage, Xin Yao didn't think about ending it, but no matter how much her husband messed around, he never mentioned the divorce. He said that in his marriage dictionary there were only widows, not divorces!
Xin Yao knew that there was a problem in her marriage with her husband, and this problem was not a small problem - cheating in marriage.
Of course, it was not her husband who cheated, but Xin Yao. This is a thorn in Xin Yao's heart, inserted in her heart all the time, popping up from time to time to stab her, and it hurts her to lose sleep every night.
Xin Yao's cheating, his husband knew about it, but there was no definite evidence, so he usually insinuated verbal attacks.
This kind of attack has an urge to make Xin Yao want to kill. Frankly speaking, Xin Yao's derailment is for money!
At that time they had just gotten married, and the poor jingle sounded! Xin Yao is at home with her children and has no financial resources, so she can only be a hand-out.
How humble a woman without financial resources is, only those who have experienced it can empathize. In those years, Xin Yao lived like a turtle with a shrunken head, and she had no say at home. A pair of shoes, two dollars of salt have to reach out and beg for it. If it goes well, there will naturally be no follow-up.
Every time Xin Yao begged for living expenses, she was exchanged for abuse and cynicism. Especially when her mother's family encountered difficulties, Xin Yao felt that she was not worthy of being a child at all.
Later, when Xin Yao went to work in the city, she met a man. The man was generous and took good care of Xin Yao, but he was ten years older than her.
The thirst for money forces Xin Yao to be with men. During this period, the man helped him pay a lot of financially, and Xin Yao's situation suddenly made a qualitative leap, the house at home, and the tickets in his pocket!
Of course, the paper can't contain the fire after all, and from all the changes in Xin Yao, her husband sensed the crisis, which made her completely cut off contact with the man. It just so happened that the man was also transferred to work elsewhere, and the relationship came to an abrupt end.
Some people can come to life, it is a kind of fate, although the man has left Xinyao's life, but the former feelings are still lingering. Xin Yao is always grateful for the man's dedication, extramarital love, can be like this, it can be regarded as a true feeling!
"Who do you cry and mourn all day long? Do you miss your wild man again? ”
"You're just a, what else do you have besides hooking up with men? Shameless slut! ”
Whenever Xin Yao and her husband quarrel, these dirty words would blurt out from her husband's mouth.
"Since you think I'm dirty, I'm cheap! Why don't you divorce and let me live? Xin Yao asked.
"Don't think about it, I'm just going to consume you!"
Sometimes, Xin Yao's husband beat Xin Yao to the ground after he was drunk, and then he would hug Xin Yao and cry, saying that he was not good, and it was his inability to cherish and push Xin Yao into the arms of others.
This situation repeats itself repeatedly, and the domestic violence is constantly repeated, and then in crying and complaining, he promises not to do it again.
Xin Yao hates her husband in front of her, spends her own money, and kidnaps herself with morality, this kind of person's selfishness is disgusting and creepy.
Year after year, Xin Yao's injuries can be healed, and her heart has long been full of holes. Marriage is inseparable, love is long gone, and her only comfort now is the child, the child! The child became her only motivation to live.
Xinyao likes to swipe her mobile phone, and by chance, a man broke into her world again.
A man is different from other men, he is not as dirty as other men, and all he thinks about is the little between men and women. When they have time, they chat together, talking about firewood, rice, oil and salt in life, Chen sesame seeds and rotten grain, and their expectations for the future. This kind of feeling, a little less than love, a little more than friendship, is very wonderful.
Xin Yao likes to confide in him about her troubles, and the man is like a listener, letting her release, crying, and then teaching Xin Yao to solve the knot in her heart and change the status quo.
With the release, Xin Yao is in a much better mood now! He regards his husband as a partner, no longer has illusions, and if he can live his life, he will live! If you can't go on, you will part ways, and it's not a big deal.
There are people in this world who appear as a light in themselves, giving people light and warmth. Some people are the terminators of light, and they bring only darkness.