Hi guys, I'm a homeschooling instructor Tomato Mom!
Every successful person knows for sure what they want and will always work hard towards this goal. But some people may not know what they want for the rest of their lives, and their parents push him forward, and he will walk a little, and he will be confused.
Aunt Wang's son Xiao An has performed well in his studies since he was a child and is the pride of his parents, but after going to college, he was expelled from school.
When Xiao An graduated from high school, his college entrance examination score was more than 600 points, which was enough for him to choose an ideal university. He likes literature, wants to become a writer in the future, and wants to apply for a major in Chinese language and literature.
But his parents said "no", they thought that such a major would not be easy to find employment in the future, and resolutely applied for him to apply for a major in architecture under the background of real estate at that time.
Xiao An is not good at physics, and in the courses after college, it is very difficult to study, and there are classmates around him who like to play games, and he is obsessed with them, playing games all night at night, and sleeping in the dormitory during the day.
During the final exam, Xiao An woke up too late, and failed all of his homework. Later, he simply gave up studying, stopped taking classes, and was completely rotten, so he was finally expelled from school.
Parents don't understand why their son, who was so obedient since he was a child, is now like this.
In fact, it is the sentence they inadvertently say "no" that makes the child end up with nothing.
In terms of educating children, there is no doubt that Liang Sicheng and Lin Yiyin are more worthy of our learning from this pair of parents!
Liang Sicheng's achievements in architecture are great, and he certainly hopes that his son will inherit his mantle. However, my son wrote on the test paper the following words: I don't like architecture, I like history.
Liang Sicheng and Lin Yu have some regrets, but they deeply understand that their sons should have their own thoughts, and they should not become "hegemonic parents".
With the support of his parents, Liang Congjie was admitted to the Department of History of Peking University, where he studied for a master's degree in world history under the tutelage of Mr. Chen Hansheng, and after graduation, he also made his favorite career - a university professor.
In addition, Liang Congjie has also made great achievements in the field of protecting the environment, protecting ancient buildings and ancient cultural relics, and his contributions are not inferior to those of his parents.
Mencius once said, "It is better to believe in books than to have no books", although there is a golden house in the book, it is better to let the child become a thoughtful and assertive person.
Being assertive means that children are able to think independently, make independent judgments, and take responsibility for their own choices and actions. They don't go with the flow easily, but are able to stick to their beliefs and goals.
When children face difficulties and challenges, assertive children are able to take the initiative to find solutions to problems, while non-assertive children will blindly rely on others for help.
Every child begins to develop a sense of self at the age of two or three, however, a large part of the child's opinions, in the process of growing up, are smoothed out by their parents.
"Resolutely no, I don't agree, you can't"...... Do you often say this to your child? Children are accustomed to letting their parents make decisions, and listening to their parents, they will gradually lose their opinions.
Children are not our "puppets", raise an assertive child, please parents remember these points!
First, give your child time and the right to think.
A few mothers asked me to go shopping with me to buy seasonal clothes for their children, and I said, "Then let's wait for the weekend and bring the children with me!" ”
Mothers think that it is too troublesome to take their children shopping, so it is better to go directly to the mall and buy them home without asking for their opinions.
To train a child to be assertive, it is necessary to start with the small things in daily life, such as letting the child choose his favorite clothes, favorite toys, etc.
Children will grow up little by little, and we will gradually involve them in larger decisions, such as holiday activities and interest classes, so that children will develop the habit of thinking and making decisions.
Second, reject "cramming" education and encourage children to think independently.
Many children immediately shout "Mom-Mom-Mom-" whenever they encounter difficulties, and Mom is the best solution.
Moms take care not to rush to give answers when their children ask questions or face confusion, but to guide them to think of solutions on their own.
You can use questions such as "what do you think should be done" or "are there any other possibilities" to stimulate your child's desire to think independently.
Third, lead your children to practice more and allow them to make mistakes.
I heard a mother teach her child "don't touch a hot water bottle", but the child was eager to try.
The mother knew that he was curious, so she opened the lid of the thermos and sent the child's hand over. The child immediately withdrew his hand and did not dare to try it again.
When children encounter problems, parents encourage them to try to solve them on their own, of course, to prevent their children from being harmed, and the experience gained by children through practice helps to enhance children's self-confidence and autonomy.
Fourth, parents should be role models for their children and cultivate their children's critical thinking.
In the family, we also need to be assertive.
Children are always imitating their parents' behavior, we listen carefully to children's views and ideas, and also express their own opinions, and children communicate and discuss on an equal footing, so that they feel that their opinions are valued.
An equal and democratic family atmosphere is conducive to children cultivating critical thinking, analyzing and evaluating their parents' opinions, not blindly accepting them, and learning to question and think.
The child's opinions will be formed with appropriate guidance and education to ensure correctness and reasonableness.
Parents should give their children enough space to think and express themselves, and at the same time, provide correct guidance and advice when necessary to help children establish correct values and outlook on life.
Interactive topic: Do you think your child is assertive?