I don't want to be your "fire extinguisher" anymore

1

That day was supposed to be an ordinary Monday. But as soon as I arrived at the company, my colleague Lingling came over and asked mysteriously: "Brother Hui, tell me honestly, who was the beautiful woman who had dinner with you last night?" ”

She said as she pulled out a photo from her phone. In the photo, Yan Li and I were talking and laughing, and it looked really ambiguous. But I was not afraid of the shadows, so I said calmly: "You also ate at that restaurant last night?" Why didn't you say hello to me? ”

"I'm calling it Knowing the Times. Confess and be lenient, or I will tell my sister-in-law to go. Lingling looked at me gossipily.

I couldn't laugh or cry: "If I tell you that this person is my wife's best friend, will you believe it?" ”

"Oh my God, the plot is more complicated than I imagined, you won't fall in love with your wife's best friend, will you?" Lingling's expression was exaggerated.

I shook my head helplessly: I've watched too many TV series on this girl, right?

When Lingling said this, everyone in the office knew that I was dating a woman other than my wife on the weekend. Everyone laughed about it all morning, and I couldn't argue with it. When I got home from work, I complained to my wife Jiang Xiaohua: "It's okay now, your husband's reputation has been ruined by you." ”

Jiang Xiaohua knew that she was at a loss, and said coquettishly: "Okay, okay, I'm sorry, I won't take it as an example." ”

This time, Jiang Xiaohua and her best friend Yan Li quarreled over a trivial matter and had a cold war for a long time. Afterwards, Jiang Xiaohua realized that she had misunderstood the other party and wanted to apologize, but she couldn't pull it off. So, I was sent to meet with Yan Li. Of course, I have to say that I found my wife unhappy and took the initiative to help them reconcile.

I said to Jiang Xiaohua: "Every time something happens, you can count on me, and you can figure out these little things yourself in the future." Jiang Xiaohua swore an oath: "Okay, listen to you." ”

2

But it turns out that what Jiang Xiaohua said was purely to make me happy.

Last month, Jiang Xiaohua was unexpectedly promoted to department head. There is a colleague with the same ability as her who is a little angry, Jiang Xiaohua is very troubled, and I am also not at peace.

No, I was receiving customers in the morning, Jiang Xiaohua's WeChat came in one by one, and the mobile phone vibrated non-stop.

She complained to me that her colleagues had been getting more and more excessive, not cooperating with their work, and affecting the progress of the whole team. Then she asked me over and over what to do. I had to put my phone on silent.

When the customer was sent away, she saw three or four missed calls on her phone, and just wanted to call her, she called again, and her voice seemed to be crying: "What are you doing?" Don't answer my phone or reply to my WeChat? ”

Seeing that she was so anxious that she was about to cry, I suddenly softened: "Wife, don't worry, I'll help you think about it." ”

I went to Baidu, found all kinds of posts on how to deal with relationships with colleagues, and then organized the useful ones into a word document and printed them out.

When I got home in the evening, I threw my plan in front of her, and said very domineeringly: "Do what I say, and make sure that your colleague has no temper with you." ”

Jiang Xiaohua burst into tears and laughed: "I'll just say, my husband can do anything." I was overjoyed by her praise, but when I thought of being told by the leader because I helped her delay her work, my mood instantly discounted.

After taking a shower, I just wanted to talk to Jiang Xiaohua, but I heard her call me in the study: "Husband, come and help me look at this excel sheet, why can't I add the explanatory text?" ”

I haven't even had time to blow my hair. In fact, if she does it herself, she won't be helpless next time.

But she seems to have become accustomed to the first thing that comes to mind when she encounters a problem is not to solve it, but to pack it up for me. And I'm used to helping her out at any time.

3

Not long after, my dad's birthday, my mom was busy all day, and she prepared a table of dishes to prepare for a family celebration. Who knew that when I got off work, I received a call from Jiang Xiaohua: "Husband, I won't go to my mother's place at night, my colleague has an appointment for dinner." Don't be angry, it's really the leader who asked me to go, you explain it to your mother. ”

When I heard this, I was anxious: "It's not a question of whether I'm angry or not, you can explain it yourself." ”

"You can help me find a reason, with my husband here, where will there be something that can't be solved." Jiang Xiaohua's mouth is so sweet, I was defeated.

As I expected, my mother was very unhappy, and although she didn't have a seizure, she had a small pimple in her heart.

When Jiang Xiaohua came home in the evening, I pretended to be casual and said, "Do you have time to call your mother?" ”

"What's wrong? Didn't you explain it clearly? Mom is angry with me? Jiang Xiaohua asked while removing her makeup.

I can't say that my mother has an opinion, that will only make the situation more ugly, so I had to lie and say, "No, I just want you to take the initiative to care about the elderly." But I sighed with some sadness in my heart, I am really a veritable "fire extinguisher".

I know that there will inevitably be friction between my mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and I should play a role as a bridge to promote family harmony. But after a long time, I found out what Jiang Xiaohua had ideas, and I became more and more unwilling to communicate with my parents by myself, and I became a microphone between them, lying at both ends.

I remember when I first got married, Jiang Xiaohua and my mother had a little conflict, and she would take the initiative to find a way to eliminate the misunderstanding. And now, she is used to being the shopkeeper, thinking that no matter what happens anyway, I will rush to the front to block it for her. I had an awkward relationship with my mother's family, and I was also pulled out to be a peacemaker.

After all, people's energy is limited, and sometimes I feel quite tired.

4

Some time ago, there were some difficulties at work, and Jiang Xiaohua had problems from time to time, and I gradually became a little overwhelmed.

One day when he and his brother were drinking and complaining about this, he asked me: "Do you think that using a fire extinguisher for your sister-in-law everywhere is really good for her?" ”

I was stunned when he asked me this.

When I first met Jiang Xiaohua, she was also a self-reliant, assertive and thoughtful girl, as if in my bottomless spoiling, she gradually became timid and cowardly, and often put "my husband said" on her lips. I'll admit that as a man, this dependence gives me a sense of fulfillment. But as the brother said, over-dependence is not a good thing.

After some careful consideration, I decided to make some changes.

Yesterday afternoon, Jiang Xiaohua drove out to run errands, but the car had a problem halfway through and couldn't start. She called me as usual and asked me to come over and help. In the past, no matter how busy I was, I would put down my work and go to her.

But this time, I refused: "You can see for yourself first, maybe it's a little problem, I'll be busy." Jiang Xiaohua repeatedly emphasized: "I don't know how to repair the car, you should come over quickly." ”

Ten minutes later, the call came in again. After making sure I really wouldn't go, she got angry. However, it turned out that the car was really only a minor problem, and it took her about ten minutes to get the car back on the road.

When I got home in the evening, Jiang Xiaohua was still sulking.

I handed over the walnut crisp I bought for her, smiled and said, "Wife, let's talk." Jiang Xiaohua was like a wronged little daughter-in-law, looking at me and crying: "Don't you love me anymore?" ”

As before, I would coax her. But this time I didn't answer her, but said, "Wife, you are really good today, and you have found a way to solve the problem by yourself." Actually, your husband is not omnipotent, if you look for me for everything, I will be tired......"

I thought Jiang Xiaohua would not be easy to listen to, but as I spoke, she suddenly spoke: "Husband, I'm sorry." Actually, I've long realized that I'm too dependent on you, and sometimes I blame myself. ”

Later, we talked a lot about this issue and reflected on it. I think there may be many men like me, who are a bit machismo, bent on making themselves omnipotent in the eyes of their wives, but their wives are not young children, and over-doting will only make her a little flower in the greenhouse, and she will suffer more losses on the road of life.

In the final analysis, Jiang Xiaohua will become like this, and I am the main reason. But I want to tell her that I will accompany her in the future and let her find her old self again. Just like today's car incident, it's a good start.