#头条创作挑战赛#婚姻说白了就是场明码标价的游戏, don't act like a fairy tale.
What the low-level man wants to find is a free housekeeping, the middle-level man, looking forward to his daughter-in-law being the east wind to help him get promoted and raised, and the upper-class man is directly looking for a business partner who can fight side by side, as for those "scumbags", they are waiting for you to dig out your heart and lungs and stick it upside down.
I'm just asking the students to keep their eyes open and see the true face of this marriage.
Marriage is the most hardcore transaction in life, gambling for most of your life, fighting for your IQ online, and whether the wrist to control this relationship is hard.
Want to have the last laugh in this game?
Simple, just one: the man who touches the man's careful thinking thoroughly is better than him!
I found that many students' fantasies about marriage are still in soap operas, and the men in their hearts are just those three axes: handsome, handsome; If you have money, you have to have money; If the first two don't take up, then it's a little more affectionate.
A student came to ask me, saying that her husband had someone outside, she ran back to her parents' house in a fit of anger, at first her husband was still chasing, she felt that the attitude was not in place, so she didn't care, but this buddy later directly didn't bird her, dumped the child to grandma, and was at ease every day.
She asked me, teacher, what should I do?
I said, are you watching too many soap operas.
Your husband has cheated, and you still use the standards of the male protagonist of idol dramas to set him? Wait for him to kneel three times and knock nine times?
If you want to have a good marriage, you must first open your eyes wide, there are basically four types of men, you have to distinguish which way your family is, and then you can prescribe the right medicine to solve those incurable diseases in marriage.
The first type: the bottom man
This kind of man is not only poor in his pocket, but also poor in his heart.
They seem to be quite honest and obedient, and for those women who have lacked love and insecurity since childhood, their nests are regarded as love; Their step-by-step, day-by-day days around the house make women feel that this is "the years are quiet".
But in fact, behind this buddy's "lying flat", there is a lot of despair.
They regard life as an endless chore, no fun, no passion, no pursuit, only depression, wearing invisible shackles, and letting life play with them however they want.
They got married because they were old, and their purpose was simple and rude, just to have children and complete the task.
They, they have no feelings, no brains, only instincts.
A student told me that she and her husband used to "respect each other like guests" and had a very good relationship, why is he suddenly leaving?
I asked her to give me an example.
The student was silent, unable to lift anything.
Why?
Because she and her husband can't speak three sentences a day, that's it: when will you go home? Child, help me take a look, when will the meal be cooked......
This is "the years are quiet", this is the "dead silence of the years"!
So, once the man has a little more money on his hands, or the wife's career takes off, the delicate balance between the couple collapses.
One person is still standing still, and can accept this kind of "taste and chewing wax" days, and the other person wants a higher quality of feelings.
At this point, the marriage hangs in the balance.
I often say that what determines marriage is not whether the feelings are deep or not, and whether there are many interests, but whether the two of you are in the same class.
What's scary?
It's not that you earn less, it's scary that you're poor, or that kind of "make do" mentality.
This kind of man, even if he is rich, lives a low-level and interesting life.
What they go out to find is to find something new, that is, that little thing in the flesh, and there is no emotional need.
Unless the wife has the ability to help them improve their cognition, otherwise, they will not get anything in the end.
The second type: middle-class men
This kind of man has begun to pursue the quality of feelings.
They went out to find it, not just to vent their desires, but to find a comrade-in-arms who could fight with him.
Many wives don't understand, why do men look for the woman outside, the external conditions are far worse than their own, and they still love like what?
Because, if they want to climb up and complete the "male competition", they have to find a woman who can help him succeed and make him go to the next level.
She has to be a woman who can cheer him up and cheer him up when he can't hold it anymore.
Just like Jia Zhangke and his wife Zhao Tao, Zhao Tao is not only the heroine of Jia Zhangke's movies, but also a strong backing on his creative path.
In Jia Zhangke's directorial career, Zhao Tao has always given him firm support and encouragement, facing challenges and growing together.
This kind of marriage relationship of mutual support and common progress is exactly what middle-class men are pursuing.
Because his realm is no longer at the animal level, it has been elevated to the human level, and what he pursues is not that instinctive satisfaction, but the improvement of self-worth.
Many girls, when their husbands' careers are frustrated, will be so comforting: I don't ask you to be rich and rich, and it's okay if you fail.
This is the most fatal form of comfort.
Because you don't know that for men, the success of male competition is the greatest pursuit of life.
If you don't understand this core need of men, you will be determined to be stuck in marriage.
The third type: upper-class men
This kind of man is already standing at the top of the social pyramid, with too much money to count, and his status is also high.
At this time, the biggest challenge for the couple is not how to fight the country, but how to defend the country.
And, most importantly, the husband and wife must be in harmony in their beliefs, and they must be able to rush forward and backward together.
is like the main creators of the "Couples" series of videos - Zhang Xinyu and Liang Hong, after their careers were successful, they directly scattered their 100 million family properties and traveled around the world, ten years, traveled to more than 200 countries, and a lot of legendary stories. As a result, he did not act intentionally, but relied on these legendary adventures to write books and make shows, and earned another 200 million.
Such couples are highly consistent in their beliefs, and what they pursue is the release and sublimation of their personalities, not just for their careers, but because they have each other, they have become better.
At this time, the "deep empathy" between the husband and wife is super strong.
I have to be able to ponder the meaning of human life together, and discuss the ultimate question of what I want to do in this life.
Such a couple is the real "upper" couple.
The worst man, that's the "scumbag"
"Scumbags" don't necessarily have more money or less money, and their abilities are not necessarily the same, but one thing is the same, that is, they are all "emotional liars", and they have a set of skilled emotional manipulation methods in their hands.
They are quite sympathetic, but they don't have any real feelings in their hearts at all.
For them, marriage is a scam that can be carefully planned and blood-sucking for a long time.
For example, a student asked me that her husband used to love her, but now he suddenly changed his mind and forced her to divorce every day.
Two days ago, she checked and found that this buddy had transferred all his assets, and she was also burdened with a large amount of debt.
The lawyer said that he used the trick of "golden cicada shelling", if she divorced, she would have to carry this debt, but he was able to get out of it......
The student was puzzled and said, why did he do this?
After understanding the situation, I told her: The biggest reason why your husband was with you back then was that he was a poor boy at that time and wanted to borrow your father's wealth and connections to climb up.
Now that his wings are stiff, your dad is of little use to him, and he will turn his face against you.
It was all acted out before, and now it's only now showing its true colors.
I told her, don't be afraid, you have to listen to me, first "hibernating" up, let him think you are so good.
When he lets his guard down, you go to his loopholes and weaknesses.
If you find it, we'll go to war with him.
Later, she did as I said, pretending to be low, so that the man was so proud.
In the end, she finally found the man's black materials, and borrowed her father's connections to make the man bow his head and confess, and ask for all the marital property that belonged to her back......
Therefore, I often say that all these tribulations we have experienced are all to let us open our eyes, see the reality clearly, and live a sober life.
You have to understand that marriage is no different from other relationships, everyone takes what they need.
It's just that the means are high and low, and the essence is the same.
What really determines the outcome of this game is your ability.