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【Personal Growth & Planning】
Author: Bella
1 What do you need most?
Life is spent in choices, and we make choices all the time. From booking a hotel for tourism and choosing a mode of transportation, to choosing a marriage partner and finding a lifelong career, each choice is like an inflection point, and different inflection points lead to different directions.
For the most part, the choices are diverse, and whatever you choose, it won't give you a particularly negative impact. And in major matters, although there are many choices, there is always a question of direction. Making the wrong choice in important matters often leads to irreparable losses, such as the return of the middle class to poverty, investment failure, restlessness at home, and a mess at work......
There is often a fatal factor behind the wrong choice: not understanding one's core goal, that is, not knowing what oneself needs most and what is most important to oneself, but only cares about what oneself can get.
Let's take an example: let's say you now have two jobs to choose from.
The first job has a monthly salary of 50,000 yuan, which is intense and heavy, requiring you to put all your energy into it and be at your disposal at any time. The company is full of military orders, and as soon as you give an order, you will immediately set off for another city or another country.
The second job has a monthly salary of 20,000 yuan, the work arrangement is relatively regular, and there is more room for personal autonomy, you can participate in the decision-making of the work, and you can also arrange the work progress by yourself. You also have more free time, and when you are busy with work, you have plenty of time to do your own thing.
Which of these two jobs will you choose?
A lot of rational people would choose a second job, right? Because for a job, salary is only one aspect, exercise decision-making ability, accumulate contacts, and broaden horizons...... These are also important. What's more, having your own time means that you can also study, spend time with your family, and develop your hobbies.
But what if now we add such an assumption? Let's say your family has experienced an investment failure, has a debt, and your child needs money to go to school. In this case, our choice may become our first job. Because at this time, the first thing we need to consider is no longer personal career development, but family life situation. The monthly salary factor does not only appear in the context of "career choice", it needs to be considered in the context of "family economic situation". At this time, it is a core goal for us to repay our debts as soon as possible and live well.
You see, in the same situation, in different needs and goals, there will be different choices. Not knowing how to choose, in fact, is not knowing what you want and need most. If you don't have a goal, you don't know what to give up, and once the goal is clear, the choice is often obvious.
2 The mystery behind it
Why is choice important? Because, behind the choice, is a very profound proposition, that is: how do you perceive, distribute, and use all your resources.
Many people will feel that the difficulty of choosing is due to a lack of resources. Isn't there such an internet buzzword? "Only children do multiple-choice questions, but adults certainly want all of them." We will feel that if a person has enough resources and enough freedom, he can not make a choice, and he can achieve the ideal result of "both, want, and not use".
Those who think this way will be distressed because of the lack of resources. But you must know that "not enough resources" is most likely a lie that desire tells us.
Because, even if you look at the people on the rich list, they still need to make a choice, and they still need to give up. What kind of projects to invest in? Who do you work with? Do you want a divorce? Which child to choose to inherit the family business? …… It's all their choice. If a problem is not handled well, it may be a waste of previous success.
You can also go and see those who are steadily making a fortune gradually. Note that we are talking about people who can really keep their wealth, that is, people who can still take off against the trend or at least maintain their status quo even in a relatively poor economic environment, not people who get rich overnight and disappear after a long time.
You'll find that they're actually more cautious in their choices. A common characteristic of these people is that the richer they are, the less they dare to spend money casually, and the less likely they are to spend money casually.
From another point of view, it is precisely because they have made many correct choices before, and in the face of many temptations and threats, they have made calm, brave, rational and restrained choices, so they have the fruits they have now.
Or to put it this way, a person who can't make the right choice when there are few resources is less likely to make the right choice when there are more resources, but is more likely to be led by desire. You can think about people who suddenly return to poverty after getting rich, people who are arrogant and eventually break the law and commit crimes, they also trusted their own character and ability before, but they gradually shake their bottom line and move their boundaries in their choices again and again. Unmanaged desires will not be terminated by one or two gratifications, but will only grow under the nourishment of darkness, eventually devouring people's wealth and life.
Most of the time, it's not the need that makes people poor, it's the desire. It needs to be emphasized that poverty is not due to insufficient resources, or to deny the existence of insufficient resources, but to say that when people are clearly capable of making choices, they often suffer unnecessary losses and blows because of their desires.
3. Choose more investment and less consumption
Choosing this thing is very similar to how an individual's wealth is used. More precisely. The use of wealth is also a choice, a choice of which part of wealth to allocate to which goods or actions. And the wider range of options also includes time, emotion, attention, and so on.
How would a wise person choose? In a word, choose more investment and less consumption.
What is investment? It's the choices you make that bring you long-term, solid value, not for your own momentary pleasure.
For example: invest in your own business, invest in your personal connections, invest in professional knowledge and skills in a certain field, invest in stable and peaceful family relationships, invest in loyal friendships......
Specifically, spend more time and money to study, think diligently, broaden your horizons, take good care of your family, educate your children with your heart, and find and cherish those friends who are worth associating with......
What is consumption? It's that you make choices just for the sake of momentary pleasure, to satisfy short-term pleasure or vanity in time.
It should be noted that the same thing is done at different times and occasions for different purposes, and its nature is different.
For example, when buying high-end clothing, some people want to take pictures, send them to Moments, and have face in front of colleagues and friends, which is satisfying pleasure and vanity, and this is consumption.
Some people do it for specific needs, such as: on important occasions, it is appropriate to wear this dress; Or when participating in important negotiations or meetings, use formal attire to show respect and build your own image.
Seeing this, some people may say that if you buy high-end clothes to make yourself happy, this is also satisfying your emotional value!
This is where we need to be vigilant: many times, vanity and lust will appear in the form of "emotional value". It's not that we have to make ourselves unhappy, but that many times our happiness is based on vanity satisfaction, because we have created a sense of "I can do it", "I am the best", "I am better than others". This kind of happiness is obviously not real and valuable.
A person who can invest for himself can enjoy what he has happily and be happier because of his investment. How can the happiness of being able to live happily ever after a promising future not be real and not beneficial?
Live your life well now, and you will have more and better choices in the future.
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[Since you're here, don't go.] Focus on "The Vow" and let's meet again in the next topic. 】