There should be a diligent mom behind a lazy child!
Chinese parents always take care of everything, don't blame your children for being lazy, it's caused by your doting.
Many parents like to say: children are too young to do it.
In fact, children are much more powerful than you think. Parents should learn to be "lazy" and give their children the opportunity to be "diligent".
In the family, if the wife is too diligent and can do anything, the husband will think: Oh, I am not a wife, I am a comrade-in-arms.
The husband takes care of everything in the family and takes care of everything in life, and after a long time, you will find that you are not married to a husband, but to have an extra son.
Especially after giving birth to a child, in addition to taking care of the child's eating, drinking, and Lazar, the role of the wife has also been erased, and you have become a full-time nanny.
In the family, "laziness" is actually a kind of wisdom. The so-called: lazy wives are hurt, and weak are protected!
One
Lazy mothers produce filial sons, and loving mothers are more defeated!
There is a mother who is worried about her children's education, but she is always relaxed.
No one has ever seen her scold the child, and her conversation with the child is like a friend:
Mother: Baby, Mom is so tired from work.
Child: Then I'll help you thump your back and pinch your legs.
Mom: Mommy is hungry.
Child: You're just disobedient, wait, I'll buy you a loaf of bread.
Mother: Baby, let me look at your homework, do you need my help?
Child: Mom, don't worry about it, what's your need for my homework? You take care of yourself, it's tiring enough to go to work. I'll take care of myself.
I have to say, this mother is so happy!
You may say: That's someone else's child is obedient and has good genes.
If the gene is not good, it can be changed. The child is like a small sapling, to be pruned, at the critical moment, let him straighten his waist and lean on him.
In "Mom is Superman", Hu Ke said to Angel and Xiao Yuer: "I'm very tired today, can you two do something for me?" ”
As soon as the brothers heard this, they immediately began to do household chores.
This pair of warm and cute brothers has countless fans, they are not squeamish, not pretentious, sensible and responsible, which makes the audience full of praise for Hu Ke's education method.
When sharing his parenting experience, Hu Ke said: "Mothers must learn to show weakness and let their sons become real men!" ”
In life, our attitude towards our children is often like this:
Mother: Baby, put the toys away.
Baby: Mom, I don't want to take it, you can take it yourself.
Mom: Alright then, you rest, Mommy.
Mother: Baby, it's time to eat.
Baby: Mom, I don't want to eat it myself.
Mom: Okay, come on, mommy feed.
Mother: Baby, can you do Mommy a favor? Hand me something.
Baby: Mom, I don't want to move.
Mom: Okay, I'll ....... it myself.
Many times children cannot grow up because their mothers are too "diligent".
We ignore the child's growth needs, that is, to train him, because diligence is a necessary quality for his success.
Two
The stronger the parents, the more dependent the children are
"Did you do your homework? It's not done yet, so have some fun. ”
"Homework almost done? It's not that much, let's do it after this game. ”
"What about doing homework, it's so late, sleepy? Don't complain, do it. ”
"Cheer up, hurry up, mom is going to be angry......"
The movement of the mother's house downstairs is always like this, it seems that the expectations for the child are high, but in fact, the child's academic laziness is caused by the mother's doting. Mother should let the child understand that doing homework is doing homework, playing is playing, and when he develops a habit, mother can let go.
Sometimes, we are too anxious and neglect to take full responsibility under the doting, which brings a lot of trouble and makes mothers more tired.
Writer Liu Yong said: The child does not know how to cherish, because he has become a bird in a cage, waiting for you to feed it every day.
You're used to feeding it, and you've never let it fly.
Suddenly one day, you open the cage, but the strange bird doesn't fly?
There is a family that can always hear or see her 14-year-old child like this:
Sitting lazily on the couch watching TV, I said: Mom, I'm hungry......
Mom came over right away. When I woke up in the morning, there was a long "Mom" again......
Mom hurried over to help her get dressed.
Reach out to your father and ask for money, and ask for a hundred and three hundred ......
Many families, who love their children, are accustomed to doing everything they can. But I forgot to let go of my children to be independent, teach them the ability to solve problems and the courage to overcome difficulties, so that they can really grow up.
Only when parents know how to let go can children learn to be independent.
As a parent, not teaching your children to be independent is often the most cruel ignorance!
Three
Interventionist families are easy to raise problem children!
There was a time when the Internet was swiped by an incident, a man asked his mother for 20,000 yuan to repay the bank loan, and his mother said that he had no money.
The man asked his mother to borrow it from a relative, but when his mother did not agree, he started to drag and beat his mother on the street.
This incident was really scary, but after the son was arrested, the mother went to plead for mercy, saying that she would not pursue her son's behavior.
There is even a grandmother in her 70s, who runs on the street every day under the sun, and she asks people when she sees them, just to help her son find a job.
There are many such parents in China, who have raised a bunch of giant babies under doting.
In fact, behind these seemingly unfilial sons, there is always a mother who likes to interfere.
Mother's doting is actually interference, and it is the entrapment behind it.
Parents want to give their children freedom and exercise their independence, but they can't help but interfere. But children raised by interfering parents are more likely to be imbecile and neurotic.
Children raised by interventionist families have the following problems:
small heart and eyes; love to complain; short-tempered; Lazy; not enterprising;
Such children, they have no ability to be independent, they like to sit back and enjoy what they want, blindly ask for it, and over time, they become white-eyed wolves......
Four
The "not letting go" of Chinese parents stems from not believing in their children!
Luo Zhenyu gave a vivid example when interpreting "Giant Baby Country":
There is a boy whose mother has to say everything before doing anything, such as going out and shouting to put on shoes; Wash your hands when you enter the door; Dropped something to pick up; Breaking things to clean up, etc......
These things can be done by the child immediately, why do parents have to take the initiative to take the child and act only after receiving an order? Because you don't believe it, the child can do it himself.
Parental trust can give strong support to children and stimulate their inner motivation.
Think about it carefully, lazy mom attendance, this sentence makes a lot of sense, really!
Mothers can learn to let go in the following ways:
1. Laziness to take care
Colleague Xiaoye, the child will use chopsticks when he is more than a year old, pick up vegetables, grill rice, and eat it in a while. That skillful movement, it's amazing.
I was stunned. Xiao Ye said: Three children eat together, give him a pair of chopsticks, don't care about him, can't manage it, pay attention not to let the chopsticks hurt, don't care about small abrasions, small pains and the like, after a long time, he will naturally use it, know how to avoid danger, protect yourself.
It seems that the child's self-care ability is very strong, he can learn, and he will avoid danger, but if you don't give him a chance to exercise, he will become stronger, and the small universe will explode.
Therefore, mothers should try to give their children a safe environment and let him exercise more.
2. Lazy to protect
It's still Angel and Xiao Yu'er, who quarrel over toys, and the general family is big and small, but Hu Ke let them solve it by themselves, and they didn't particularly protect the little one, until the problem was solved, and the two brothers reconciled again.
It can be seen that when mothers learn to let go, their children's potential is unlimited, which is more conducive to their growth. Mom can't do everything, she must learn to let go, so that children can learn to solve problems and be self-reliant.
3. Lazy to manage
Many parents always dictate their children at home and control the decision-making power, which invisibly stifles their children's innovative spirit and desire to explore.
The child likes this, but the parents think that one is better.
I've taken such a detour myself.
I once bought books for my child in the library, and I thought that he was too young to read picture books or books for younger children.
But the children had to read "Cosmic Exploration" and "100,000 Whys", and I looked at the content and form of the books, and I felt that they could only be understood by at least elementary school students.
When I paid the bill, I deprived my child of the right to choose.
The child cried and said: I like this kind of book because I want to explore the universe, I want to be a scientist, I can't read, I want my parents to read to me every day, explain to me.
It turns out that the child's world has dreams that you can't see as an adult, and the child's opinion hides a curious and wanted to explore heart.
Children are active in thinking, like to think, good at asking questions, and have a strong sense of inquiry and ability, but we usually manage children too much, covering up the essence and needs of children.
If parents try to let go and respect their child's ideas, they may be able to give him more room to explore.
It's been a long time since I've heard the roar of the Hedong lion from my mother downstairs, so I asked her curiously: Now I don't care about my children's studies?
Her answer was shocking, saying: I really feel lazy and comfortable, and I realized a truth.
As a lazy wife, my husband has treated me a lot better and cares more about me.
As a lazy mother, my son is sensible and will help me do things, and my homework is basically completed independently, so I don't need to rush. No, just a little tutoring.
Ask her why she is lazy?
Answer: Pretending to be sick, all kinds of discomfort, it has become a reason to be lazy, what work is not done, nothing is done, if you want me to hang up quickly, you can make me ........
After listening to it, I really laughed, how deep does this have to be to be so "lazy".
However, "lazy" is really a university question, mothers might as well try to be a lazy mother, don't let the child's intelligence be buried in the mother's "diligence". Let the children do what they can from an early age, and let them create a life with their own hands.