#二婚的那些事儿##爱情故事##那些出轨的事#
This is the 4,436th real story we have told
My name is Wu Yuling, I was born in 1979, I live in Xinjiang, and my ancestral home is Shanghai.
When I was 20 years old, I married from Xinjiang to Sichuan. When my son was 3 years old, I borrowed 40,000 yuan from my mother and bought a big truck for my father.
Unexpectedly, my mother broke her arm, and I went back to Xinjiang to take care of it for 3 months, and the man cheated on his brother's daughter-in-law's cousin. In order to repay the debt, he actually wanted to hit me to death with a car, and after 18 years of marriage, I was forced to divorce.
When my son was 7 years old and I was 41 years old, I met a man who was 13 years younger than me, and after 3 months of acquaintance, I married him naked.
(We are a family of three)
My parents came to Xinjiang in the 70s. His mother is from Sichuan and his father is from Shanghai.
When they were teenagers, they came to Xinjiang with the general environment, and they were also the first batch of educated youths to come to Xinjiang that year. Later, they met and got married, having a sister and me.
At that time, the educated youth all lived on farms, their mothers were farmers, and their fathers were prison guards. Because of the nature of my father's work, since we were sensible, everything in the family has been done by my mother.
My father sometimes only came back once a month for a few days. My mother was reluctant to let my father work, so everything was arranged by my mother.
Winters in Xinjiang are particularly cold, and when I was in primary school, all students had to send a cart of firewood to the school every winter. For this firewood, my mother would go to the Gobi Desert to cut dead branches, and then pull them to school in a donkey cart.
Every time I see my mother's hands and face, all scratched by tree branches, plus chilblains, I feel very distressed and feel that my mother is too hard.
(When my son was a child)
The school is far from home, and we ride our bikes to school every day. Sometimes the car broke down, and my mother came back in the middle of the night to fix it for us.
It can be said that in our memories when we were children, our father gave us too vague impressions, and what we remember is always our busy mother, who supported a family by herself.
At that time, on the farm, there were few parents who supervised their children in their studies, my father was away from home for many years, and my mother was busy all day and did not know how to guide us in learning.
As you can imagine, I dropped out of school before I finished junior high school. At that time, my mother started to work on the land, and we helped her work in the fields.
In 1999, I was introduced to a Sichuan man. After getting along, I felt that he was good, so we got married that year and went to Sichuan with him.
(When my son was young, I took it to play outside)
In 2000, a daughter was born, and in 2014, a son was born, the population increased, and the family's expenses also increased. In order to find a way, I borrowed 40,000 yuan from my mother and paid a down payment for a large truck to run the transportation.
In 2017, I learned that my mother broke her arm at home, and my father couldn't cook for the rest of his life, so he couldn't take care of it at all. After discussing with my sister, I felt that the child's father often ran cars outside and rarely came back, so I was alone at home with the child, so it was better to go back to Xinjiang and take care of my mother for a while.
Unexpectedly, I stayed in Xinjiang for three months, and when I returned home, I found that he was having an affair outside. What's angry is that the child's grandmother told me about this, she said that on her birthday, her son's girlfriend gave her 500 yuan, and said how sensible the woman was.
What's even more ruinous is that the woman he cheated on was actually his brother's daughter-in-law's cousin. He also thought that he thought it was great to have a big truck, and kept saying that I should not go back to Xinjiang and left him alone. I was so angry that I wanted to scold someone, and I didn't get rid of my hatred for dismantling him, and I relied on others for cheating.
(Husband and son together)
What made me want to scold even more was the child's grandmother, saying that if I married into their family, I should not go back to Xinjiang. I have never seen such a family, the son cheats, and blames the daughter-in-law, what kind of mother is it, and what kind of son is educated.
I married far away to their family, and I didn't sell it to them. Besides, if something happens to a mother, the daughter doesn't come home to see.
No wonder people often say that marrying far away is a big gamble, and when something happens to you, it is always the woman who is bullied who married far away back then.
I came to Sichuan with him and had a son and a daughter, but he treated me like this.
At that moment, I felt that there was no point in living, and I didn't want to live anymore. But when I think about it, my family bullied me like this, and I can't make them feel better. So, I went to town to buy gasoline and tools, and wanted to fight with his family.
Luckily, he was stopped. Later, I thought about it, if I had been impulsive and no one stopped me, maybe the grass on my grave would have grown taller.
(My parents are with their son)
In order to force me to divorce, their family tried all kinds of methods to slander me. In fact, at that time, they just wouldn't force me to leave, and I didn't want to live with a bastard like him.
But the money to buy the car back then was borrowed from my mother's family, even if I got divorced, I also want this money. As soon as he heard that I wanted money, he was reluctant and wanted to run away in the car.
In order to block him, I stood directly in front of the car, and the pair of frantic ex-in-laws actually let the bastard drive over and hit me, saying that if he was killed, the money would not have to be returned, and no one would stop him from finding a new girlfriend.
I'm so angry, I really want to die with their family! In the end, it still made people pull away. After calming down, I thought, for this kind of person, put your life on the line, it really isn't worth it at all.
There was no point in insisting on such a marriage, and we officially divorced in October of that year.
(My husband is still quite handsome)
At that time, my daughter was almost an adult, and I didn't want my 3-year-old son to stay in such a family, so I decided to take my son with me. And his cheating partner also has a child, and he just doesn't want to raise my son, and when he sees me taking my son away, he can't ask for it.
In order not to have anything to do with their family anymore, after returning to Xinjiang, I directly changed my son's surname to mine.
When I left, I had almost nothing but my son. Seeing me like this, my parents gave me a rough house and tens of thousands of yuan, so that I could simply decorate it so that I could have a place to stay.
Thankfully, my parents gave me a way out, or my son and I wouldn't even have a place to live.
In order to make a living, in order to support my son, I worked everywhere. Help people plant vegetables, jujube trees, cotton, pick cotton, etc., as long as I can earn money, no matter how hard and tiring I am, I will do it.
In order to take care of the children, I went to the wholesale market to wholesale some trinkets and set up stalls, and sometimes my parents also made up for them, barely supporting me and my son.
(My husband has always been very accommodating to me)
The marriage with my ex-husband made me break my bones, and in order to relieve my emotions, I like to watch emotional videos on the Internet.
One day in October 2020, I accidentally brushed a man who broke up with his ex and sent some particularly sad texts.
Maybe it's a sympathy, so I commented on his video. After going back and forth, I talked about him being from the same place as my mother's hometown, and he was also from Sichuan, and he came to Xinjiang as a teenager, and he is 28 years old this year, doing paint and whitewashing.
Chatting with him, I felt very comfortable, very honest and spoke with me in mind. Unlike some men, before they have chatted with him, they casually say all kinds of unreliable and indecent things.
The two of us have similar part-time work experience, and we have a common topic, plus we were both hurt by the previous relationship, and the two of us have a feeling of sympathy for each other, and after a long time, they have a good impression of each other.
(I'm with my husband, who is 13 years younger)
After chatting for a few months, I felt that he was really good, so I wanted to officially show him to my parents.
On New Year's Day 2021, I took him to meet his parents, but I didn't expect that his parents liked him very much. But to be honest, my parents were quite worried at the time, because he was 13 years younger than me, I was 41 years old, and he was only 28 years old.
I don't have looks, I don't have money, and I don't have a specialty, how can he take a fancy to me? My parents are worried, will he be able to get along with me? Can it last? At that time, my mother's health was already very bad, but she still couldn't help but worry about me, I really pity the hearts of my parents all over the world.
Maybe he is related to our family, the first time he came to our house, my son also liked him very much.
Seeing that the most important person in my life liked him, I decided to be officially with him. So we agreed to go to his hometown and tell his parents about it.
On January 12, 2021, we took a car from Xinjiang to Sichuan.
(My husband's birthday, our family of three)
After arriving in my hometown in Sichuan, many people were not allowed to gather because of masks. His eldest uncle said that during the special period, he would not set up a banquet, but only invited some close relatives and friends to have a meal to witness our marriage.
But his stepfather was unwilling, and his mother did not dare to express any opinions, which made the eldest uncle very embarrassed at that time, and it was not easy to make decisions, so he didn't say anything more.
Since the banquet is not set up, then we will directly get the marriage certificate.
Who knows, when he took the household registration book with his mother-in-law, his mother-in-law said: "It's a second marriage, so let's just make do with it, don't get a certificate." Aren't many restructured families now not getting a license, and two people just live like this? If you can get over together, it's convenient to divide it if you can't get through it. ”
(I'm with my husband and mother-in-law)
To be honest, my mother-in-law's behavior at that time made me feel a little uncomfortable. But on the other hand, if it were my son and brought back a daughter-in-law who was 13 years older, I wouldn't be able to accept it for a while.
And I have a daughter, and even though she is not with me, I do have two children. At that time, my son was only 7 years old, and if he wanted to live with me all the time, which parent he would be, he was a little frightened.
After listening to his mother's words, he said: "Since I have brought people back, I have to sincerely want to live, and since I choose to be together, I have to get a certificate, and if I don't get a certificate, isn't it just a performance of hooliganism, and this certificate must be obtained." His words made me understand him differently again.
In the end, my mother-in-law didn't resist my husband and took out the household registration book. So, after we met for three months, we officially received a marriage certificate on January 19, 2021, but unfortunately there was no wedding, not even a banquet, so I got married naked.
(We're together)
In fact, I can also understand my mother-in-law's behavior back then. She was only 11 years older than me, and she was also a reorganized family, and her first husband died when my husband was a few years old, and she had already given birth to a daughter and a son. Later, after being introduced, he had a second marriage and gave birth to a son and a daughter.
There are many children and they are in the countryside, so when they are teenagers, they all go out to earn a living. My husband too, when he was fourteen or fifteen years old, he followed his second uncle to Xinjiang to work. Since then, he has never asked his parents for a penny, relying on his own hands to support himself in Xinjiang.
After I got married in Sichuan, I received a call from my sister saying that my mother was seriously ill and that we would soon be back in Xinjiang.
After several months of treatment, the mother was not able to be retained. At the end of March 2021, my mother passed away with concerns about me.
(It's snowing in Xinjiang, we have to grow old)
After my mother left, I kept my thoughts about her in the bottom of my heart. In order to take care of my father, we moved from the farm to my father's neighborhood and bought a new house.
After officially living with my husband, he was really as he said at the beginning, and he was very attentive to my father and my son.
Especially for my son, even his own father, he is not so patient. Talking to my son and teaching him to do his homework, including the little things in life, are super attentive and truly treat them as if they were their own. And my son also liked him from the first time we met, and took the initiative to call him dad.
At home, my husband is very diligent, as long as there is work, he will do it, never fish for three days and dry nets for two days, and his personality is good, and he is not in a hurry or impatient.
To be honest, when I first started with my husband and the two of us walked out together, I was a little uncomfortable myself, and the age difference felt like I was a little shorter than him. I'm not used to it myself, let alone others, so there are always a lot of people who look at me differently.
(On my son's birthday)
Sometimes, we will share our daily life on the Internet, and some people will say that my old cow eats tender grass, that I have found a son, that my husband eats soft rice, and that there are all kinds of rumors.
Originally, the ultraviolet rays in Xinjiang are strong, and I am usually exposed to the wind and sun outside, and I look very old. I don't know how to dress up, I don't know how to take care of it, I'm actually in my 40s, and I look like I'm 50. I'm 13 years older than my husband, so it looks like the gap between us is even bigger.
Sometimes, when I chat online and meet sisters who are similar to me and have the same experience, they can empathize with me and understand my feelings very well.
And there are some people who have not experienced it, they will indiscriminately scold me and hack me on the Internet. There are a lot of people like this, and sometimes when I am anxious, I will also be scolded back.
(I was back then)
My husband always advised me to keep my mouth on others and live our own lives. Slowly, my psyche became stronger.
My husband treats my son as his own and really likes children, so I want to have a child for him. I want his life to be complete and leave no regrets. For this reason, I have been conditioning my body in various ways, but it has never yielded results.
In March this year, we wanted to have a child through IVF, and we also went to Wuhan Tongji Hospital for consultation and did a series of examinations. But it takes 15-200,000 yuan to do a test tube, and unfortunately, our economic conditions do not allow it.
I want to take out the insurance that my mother bought for me back then, and I want to try it. But my husband said, what if it fails? And the money went down the drain. Besides, the overall economic environment has not been good in recent years, and that insurance is also my last protection.
To be honest, I've been with him for 4 years, don't look at him 13 years younger than me, in life, he has always let me go, and he is very thoughtful in doing things.
(Big wife and little husband)
In the past few years, because of the big environmental impact, my husband has been making decoration coatings, and he has lived in and out, except for daily expenses, we have hardly saved money.
When we were together, not only did we not have wedding photos, but we didn't even have a wedding ceremony. Someone asked me, do you have any regrets?
I think it doesn't matter if the two are together, how much bride price they give, whether they take wedding photos or not, whether they have a wedding or not. As long as this person has you in his heart, has this family, and works hard for this family, it is better than anything else. I want to win the heart of one person, and the white head does not want to leave.
Since I came back from the divorce, my ex-husband not only hasn't paid a penny of alimony to his son, but he hasn't even had a phone call to greet his son, and even his contact information has been blocked.
In the past few years, my current husband has been in charge, and compared to the so-called biological father, what my husband has done is really much better.
(Our family of three was playing outside)
Every time I think of this, I warn my son, your biological father only gave you life, how can you be so generous to your father now? Kindness is greater than kindness. Be a man with a conscience, and if he is good to you now, he will be good to him in the future.
Looking back on my life for more than 40 years, I have had a bumpy journey along the way, and I am very grateful and happy to have such a life now.
I don't have much education, and I don't know how to say a lot of big truths, what I want is to be a family, safe, healthy, and live a down-to-earth life.
(Welcome to follow)
[Dictation: Wu Yuling]
[Written by: Dream Hope]
[Editor: Drunk Hongyan]
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