Mr. Yang Jiang once said:
"When a woman begins to become more and more kind to a man, more and more enthusiastic, more and more tolerant, more and more obedient, and more and more spoiled, the taste of love seems to gradually fade, this person may be the person who cherishes her the most."
Women often make such mistakes, knowing that the other party does not have you in their hearts, but they still give again and again, and they can't feel his love, but they still treat him again and again.
Maybe you think that as long as you persevere, there will always be a day when you will be moved by him, and at that time, you can naturally become a family member in the end, are you afraid that you won't get his heart?
And the truth is that the more enthusiastic you are about him, the less he cherishes, and here is a reminder to women: don't be kind to a man too often, he is not rare and does not need it!
01
Treat him well so often that he will take it for granted
Human nature is, what you can't get will be cherished, the more you try to be good to him, the more he can't feel your existence, and even feel that this is all you are willing, why does he pay to you?
If he is like this, then you don't expect him to fall in love with you, and even if he gives you a little love, it is just a handout from him, not really from the heart.
I always remember Jiang Baili in "Crush on Orange Sheng Huainan", she loved too humbly and too carefully, so that she ended up with scars.
She always knew that Gobi liked someone else, but she still insisted on being good to him, wanting him to see her love, maybe one day she could reciprocate.
No matter what Gobi asks her to do, she will help, for example, Gobi will ask her to help find the exam materials, Gobi will ask her to help chase the girl she likes, she will not refuse, and she will be very happy, he can find her to do it, which is also a kind of trust.
Jiang Baili's love is very simple, she never thought that Gobi would like her, she just simply treated him well, gave him all the love he could think of, and just hoped that he could be happy, even if it was with other people.
But the things she did made the other party feel that this was a matter of course, and even if he made excessive requests, he felt that Jiang Baili should help him.
In fact, if you are used to him like this, and you give him so wholeheartedly, it will only make him gain an inch, and even, he just wants to enjoy your kindness to him, and will not pay anything to you otherwise.
02
Sometimes, he doesn't need your input
Many times, you may think that I am being good to him, not asking him to be good to me, why is he bored? Or even alienate me for this?
In fact, this is your wishful thinking, you think that if you are good to him, he will accept it, but if he doesn't like you, he doesn't need your contribution, and even afraid of being entangled by you.
Xiaoxiao likes someone, she doesn't know what the other party thinks, so she can only try her best to be good to him, pay for him, and want to attract his attention.
She sends him a message every day, no matter whether he replies or not, she will insist, and she will ask him for dinner, it doesn't matter if she refuses, she can wait, this is all Xiaoxiaoai.
She originally thought that such a humble love would be exchanged for a little touch from the other party, but she didn't expect that just pushing the other party further away would make the other party feel pressured.
The boy clearly said to her: "Don't send me WeChat again in the future, I'm not the right person, you do this, it will only make me not want to have any contact with you, or stop bothering well!" ”
At that moment, Xiaoxiao realized that if you were not good to him, he would miss this love, facing a person who doesn't like you, he doesn't need your contribution, and he doesn't scarce your love, although it is cruel, but it is better than breaking his head and not looking back.
03
The feelings are mutual
Psychology believes that:
"Reciprocity is the basic principle of interpersonal communication, and if only you are good to him, not to him, then your behavior destroys the principle of reciprocity."
Feelings are mutual, which is the key to the sustainability of feelings, if it is just that you wishfully pay for him, and he never feels your good, then this kind of good is invalid.
Only if you are good to him, he accepts your love, and is willing to give you more love in return, this is a mutually beneficial relationship, and you can truly feel happy.
Here, I also want to remind women not to be kind to him all the time, if you give too much love, it will fade, and slowly he will no longer be rare.
Especially for a person who doesn't like you, no matter how much love you give, it is in vain, he won't look at you more, and he won't stay for you, your contribution is like a joke, touching yourself, but not moving others.
Therefore, you must always remember: when you love someone, you only love three points, and the remaining seven points are to love yourself, so that you can win the respect and love of others!