In the world of feelings, everyone longs for a beautiful and dedicated love, and many people can't fit other people in their hearts after they have someone they love deeply.
However, we also have to admit that the world of feelings is full of variables, and once one party has two hearts in marriage or feels that married life has lost its freshness, it is easy to move towards extramarital affairs.
But extramarital feelings are not recognized, it will not only affect your marriage and family, but also end up harming yourself.
Because, once the extramarital relationship occurs, there are only three choices, I hope to take it as a warning, make a decision as soon as possible, and stop harming others and yourself.
01
The first choice: cut off with a third party and forget about each other
When extramarital feelings are like a sudden rain, drenching your heart, the first thing that springs up in your heart may be excitement and freshness, but then it is often endless guilt and struggle.
At this time, the first option is to have a good chat with a third party, and then, decisively, delete all contact information, as if the other party has never left a trace in your world, and has become a stranger to the end of the world.
Choosing this path means that you have to have enough courage to face your mistakes, admit the feelings that you shouldn't have, and have the determination to repair the family relationship damaged by your momentary mistakes.
In reality, there is no shortage of such examples. Mr. Zhang reunites with his old lover at a chance party, and the old love is rekindled.
At first, he enjoyed the thrill of the secret, but soon, the guilt kept him awake at night. Eventually, he decided to confess to his wife and cut ties with his old flame once and for all.
Although the process of returning to his family was a little difficult, his sincerity and hard work finally brought the family back on track.
Mr. Zhang's story tells us that stopping losses in time is the greatest respect for marriage and the salvation of oneself and one's family.
02
The second option: abandon the original family and pursue novelty, but you may lose both
The second option is undoubtedly the most risky and hurtful - to give up the original family and choose the third party that brings you freshness.
This path, which may seem like a brave move in the pursuit of true love, is actually a gamble, and the stakes are your future, and even your soul.
Psychologist Esther · Perrell mentioned in "The Secret of Intimacy": "Dissatisfaction in marriage is often not due to the shortcomings of the other half, but because of the unmet needs of our hearts." ”
So, you may choose to leave because you can't find the passion or understanding you want in your existing relationship, but the real problem may be that you haven't really faced and solved it.
Ms. Li is a living example of this. She and her husband have been in love for many years, but because of a chance encounter, they fall in love with another man.
Driven by passion, she resolutely divorced her husband to pursue the so-called "true love". However, the novelty was soon replaced by the trivialities of life, and she found that no matter who she was with, she needed to face the dullness and challenges of life.
In the end, not only did she lose her original family, but her new relationship did not last as long as she wished, and she ended up alone. Ms. Li's story is a wake-up call to all impulsive: the path is chosen by oneself, and the consequences must be borne by oneself.
03
The third option: divorce and go alone, away from familiarity, a big failure in life
The third option, neither wanting to continue the marriage nor being with a third person, chooses to divorce, get away from everything familiar and start over.
This seems to be the most decisive and lonely road. Hidden in such a decision is a deep disappointment in marriage, as well as a re-examination of self-worth.
People who choose this path, perhaps after experiencing countless struggles and disappointments, finally understand that sometimes, letting go is also a kind of fulfillment, for themselves and for each other.
Mr. Zhao's story is such a mental journey. He and his wife have been indifferent for many years, and they met the person they liked outside, and the two had an extramarital affair.
But in the end, after the matter was revealed, he did not choose either side, but decided to divorce and go to a strange city alone to start a new life.
He said that he didn't have the face to face his wife and daughter, and he didn't want to live with a woman who only valued his money, so he could only choose to live alone in a foreign country, and also give himself the courage to start over.
04
Extramarital relationships, for most people, are undoubtedly a big failure in life. Not only does it hurt the innocent partner, but it also puts itself in a moral and emotional dilemma.
No matter where you go, the label of betrayal of marriage will follow you everywhere, becoming the talk of others after dinner, and it is an indelible pain in your heart.
Finally, I want to say that if you choose to get married, you must be responsible for this marriage, responsible for your wife and children, if you don't love you can choose to divorce, but you must not choose to betray your wife before divorce, harming others and yourself.