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"This day can't pass!" divorce! ”
"Just leave! Who's afraid of whom! ”
This is the "classic line" when many couples quarrel, quarrel to the most hated place, often do not choose words, for divorce such a thing, not afraid at all!
But after both people were calm, they regretted it, regretting that they shouldn't have said such a heavy word at that time.
In fact, both men and women, when faced with the matter of divorce, there are more or less anxieties in their hearts.
After all, divorce means the end of one life, the beginning of another, and the future is unknown.
Due to human nature, most people are more or less uneasy about the unknown.
Are men afraid of divorce? Of course, I am also afraid, but the degree of fear is different.
The degree to which men are afraid of divorce is generally divided into two situations:
First, men who take the initiative to divorce and have strong strength will generally not be too afraid of divorce, and even feel fortunate for the successful divorce.
The second is passive divorce and weak men, divorce for them often means that the sky is falling, there are too many terrible things.
Over the years, relatives, friends or colleagues around, more and more divorced men, for "men are afraid of divorce?" On this question, the three men told the truth: mainly afraid of three things:
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The first man, afraid of all kinds of financial losses.
The original colleague Da Qiang, 30 years old, has a bad relationship with his wife.
At that time, everyone in the company knew that as long as Da Qiang had an injury on his face, he would have been scratched by his wife.
The strong man is honest, his wife is fierce and barbaric, and he often abuses him domestically; and he dares to be angry every time, and he can endure and endure, and he can live by.
Someone advised him to get a divorce! Such marriages are really unhappy, delaying each other, what is the point!
But Da Qiang said that he did not dare to divorce because the divorce was not cost-effective and too cost-effective.
Da Qiang's family was not well-off, and when he got married that year, he gave his mother-in-law a dowry of 160,000 yuan, and his parents borrowed a lot of foreign debt in order to collect this money.
Da Qiang said that if divorced, not only is the previous dowry money difficult to pursue, but if he remarries in the future, he will also have to prepare the bride price again, and now the bride price is rising, even if his family smashes the pot and sells iron, he can't afford it!
In addition, if divorced, then he and his wife will have to divide the property, the house he lives in is his wife's dowry house, if he really divorces, he will become a lost dog!
So no matter how you calculate it, divorce is not worth it for him, and he would rather make it up in marriage than dare to divorce.
There is a sentence in Pride and Prejudice:
Marriages that only consider money are ridiculous, marriages that don't consider money are stupid.
In reality, how many people's marriages are also money, and failures are also money!
The reason why many men like Da Qiang dare not divorce is not that they do not want to divorce, but that they cannot afford to leave! Helpless, only because of a "money" word!
In marriage, he sought perfection only because he was a "slave" to money!
In fact, men must understand that thousands of dollars are easy to get, and true feelings are difficult to buy! In marriage, if you only calculate the economic account, but not the emotional account, it is not cost-effective!
They are not so much afraid of divorce as they are afraid of not being able to live better! Afraid that I don't have the ability to make more money!
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The second man, afraid of the suspension of family life.
Friend Wang Lei, 39 years old, married for 10 years, a man who always likes to talk about "divorce", but he has not left so far.
Wang Lei said that instead of saying that he was afraid of divorce, it was better to say that he could not divorce!
Because, in the current life, it is really inseparable from his wife, if the wife is gone, the home will collapse!
Wang Lei's children are complete, his son is in the third grade of primary school, his daughter is in the first grade of primary school, and the study of two children is a big task at home, which falls on his wife alone, wang Lei is usually too busy at work to take care of it.
And Wang Lei's parents are not in good health, taking medicine at both ends for three days, these things are also handled by his wife. Taking care of the elderly for many years, the wife has no teacher and has become half a doctor, and the two old people cannot do without her.
But his wife had a bad temper and was often angry, which made Wang Lei overwhelmed, and the relationship between the two has been bad.
Wang Lei said that he often has the idea of divorce, but if divorced, who cares about the elderly and children? So, he can't get a divorce.
In real life, there are many men like Wang Lei, who are "throwing their hands in charge" at home, ignoring the affairs of the family and throwing their brains to their wives.
Therefore, if it is divorced, it means that the wife has to return all the burdens on her body to the man, but the man cannot afford it! So, they are afraid of divorce.
The real reason they are afraid of divorce is that they are afraid of taking it, or they can't afford it!
Marriage for them is a person who can pick up the burden on the road of life, and as for whether to love or not, that is another matter.
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The third man, who has no confidence in remarried life.
Cousin, 45 years old, married for twenty years, quarreled with his cousin for twenty years.
Ten years ago, my cousin was proud of his life, successful business, made a lot of money, and at the same time, he also "made the mistakes that all men make", cheated in marriage, and found a little girl who was a lot younger than him to live secretly.
At that time, my cousin had been kept in the dark.
Later, the cousin unknowingly broke up with the lover. I had secretly asked him about it in private.
The cousin said that at first he felt that he had no feelings for his cousin, regarded his lover as a confidant, and the two people loved her to death, and he secretly bought her a small apartment, and the two lived like husband and wife.
Later, my cousin found out that they had been together for a long time and had lived the same life with everyone.
The cousin has a bad temper, likes to nag, and manages the east and the west; and the lover is no more than that, and even the words that nagged him are the same as those of the cousin.
The cousin said that through this incident, he finally saw that marriage is like that, just like anyone who has lived, it is difficult to avoid trivial.
Therefore, in this life, he will not divorce his cousin, if he remarries, after the passion fades, everything will be business as usual, just a change of woman chai rice oil and salt, quarrel and mouth!
If this is the case, why bother to divorce and remarry!
The cousin's words make people think deeply, and men who think like him are afraid of the essence of divorce, but they are actually afraid of marriage, so they think that they are the same as anyone.
Some people say that people who can't swim, it is useless to change more pools.
People who don't know how to manage marriage are the same as anyone else!
The reason why this type of man is afraid of divorce, in the final analysis, is that he is afraid that he does not have the ability to manage the marriage well.
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In fact, no matter what kind of reason you are afraid of divorce, you can't avoid the word "reality".
Many times, "divorce" is just a fantasy and yearning of many men, but if it is really separated, they may not dare to leave, and they may not be able to afford it!
If you dare not leave and cannot afford to leave, then "if you come, then settle down", let your heart sink, run the marriage in front of you well, and take care of the current days!
If there's really nothing you can do, take care of yourself first.
After all, taking care of yourself first is the maturity that adults should have.
Text/Fenghua
What other reasons do you think men are afraid of divorce?