To be a person is not humble, there is a degree and a quantity, and the outer circle is inside. We often say that "the most rigid and easy to bend", to be like water, both powerful and gentle. Zeng Guofan's success lies in the outer circle and the inner circle.
After experiencing everything and fighting with people, Zeng Guofan gradually put away his untimely edges and corners, although he still strictly demanded himself, his attitude towards others changed, and he began to be lenient with others. Bao Chao was a fierce general under Zeng Guofan, and once Bao Chao was in conflict with Zeng Guoquan and threw up his hands. Zeng Guofan pointed out to Bao Chao and said: "You pick a pick, people who understand the inside story know that you have an opinion with Lao Jiu, and people who do not understand the inside story will suspect that you are dissatisfied with the imperial court.
Personality should be measured, not too humble, too humble may become cowardly, not too profane, too profane and aggressive.
Therefore, paying attention to proportions is a very important art of speaking. Whether we speak in proportion or not has a lot to do with our success or failure. Pay attention to proportions, to put it bluntly, the words spoken cannot hurt people. Whether you realize it or not, whether you have it or not, you can't hurt anyone.
1. The measure of speaking when meeting people for the first time to do business
Self-introduction is a means for people to go out and deal with people. Due to the different purposes and requirements of the work, the depth of self-introduction should also be different.
In some cases, the content of the self-introduction is very simple, as long as the name, identity purpose, and requirements are clear. For example, a clerk of a construction company goes to a steel mill to buy steel. As soon as he entered the door of the sales department, he said to a gentleman sitting at his desk, "Hello! I am a buyer from a certain construction company, come to your factory to buy round steel, I hope you can help. The gentleman will certainly answer: "My name is so-and-so, I am from the sales department of the factory, let's sit down and talk." Through such a simple self-introduction, the negotiation will have a good start.
In other cases, the content of self-introduction needs to be more detailed, not only to clarify the name, identity, purpose, requirements, but also to introduce their own experience, education, qualifications, personality, expertise, experience, ability, interests and so on. In order to gain the trust of the other party, it is sometimes necessary to tell some specific examples. But when do you need to do a simple self-introduction, and when do you need to do a detailed self-introduction? This is not a rule, it can only be determined on a case-by-case basis.
2. Speak in a measured manner when entrusting people to do things
Entrusting people to do things, even if they are very close, the wording and tone should be appropriate, and do not use a blunt tone, such as "you must help me" and "must be completed". In this way, sometimes it is difficult to force others and make it difficult for people to accept, and to say "please help me as much as possible" and "it is best to help me to the end" leaves room for maneuver. If it is a question that is difficult to answer at that time, it is necessary to say "is it okay to give me a letter in two days" or "When the time comes, I will go to you, please bother", etc., and entrust people to do things to leave people with a time for full consideration and discussion, so that people can advance and retreat.
Entrust people to do things, the attitude should be sincere, try to explain to others the purpose and role of doing this, tell people the cause and idea of the matter, do not talk in pieces, do not let the other party think that you do not believe him.
The question is also very exquisite, the question should be polite, the tone is calm, even if you are coldly treated, touch the nail, or the other party is angry, you must also calm down, as long as the problem can be handled, it is worth it to be wronged.
3. Measure of speech when answering others
How to reply to the person who asks you to do things is also an aspect of your ability to do things. Whoever thinks it is right, answer him with a "very good"; If you think it is not right, answer him "This question is really difficult to say"; When he thought he could do something, he replied, "I'll try it, but it's hard to be sure if it will succeed or not"; Thinking that he could not do something, he replied to him, "This matter is really difficult to handle, and according to my ability and relationship, there is not much hope."
In short, when replying to the person who asks you to do things, don't say it too sure, too absolutely. Answering too affirmatively can easily cause the consequences of displeasure on both sides. All answers must be left with room for manoeuvre, and in case you can't decide temporarily, you can answer "Let me consider it, and then reply to you", or "Let me consult with so-and-so, and then reply to so-and-so". The former is to accept and not to accept half, and the latter is mostly a gentle refusal.
If the person who asks you to do things is nagging and you don't want to listen to it anymore, you can say something else insignificant, shift the goal, or you can directly say "Okay, I'll talk about it here today", and then stand up and say, "I'm sorry, I still have something to do, I'll talk about it next time", and the person who asks you to do it will stop the conversation and stop pestering you.
4. Speak in proportion when asking others
When asking others, we should pay attention to the measure of the language, should use more pleading tones, and must not use "why haven't you dealt with it yet?" "Don't you mean to give me a reply today?" Why speeches don't count to "when exactly are you going to settle" and "must be dealt with before the end of this month" and other questions or orders to tone. This will only arouse the resentment of others. If you change the tone of another inquiry, the effect may be much better.
Don't be impatient, be patient and tireless in visiting the door, explain your reasons and requests. Don't expect a quick answer, be prepared for a long battle.
In the interval of the interrogation time, it should be shorter and shorter, and the number of times should be more and more frequent to arouse the other party's sense of urgency. Frequent urging is likely to cause irritability to the other party, it does not matter, as long as you are polite and courteous, it does not matter, as long as you persevere, it will bring about a turnaround.