Marriage is a matter of two people, not a one-man one-man show, two people from strangers to acquaintances, it is not easy, so do not let each other chill, the heart is cold can no longer cover the heat, from discouraged to desperately leave, the course of women's psychology is constantly changing.
A woman's departure is all signs, and if you can't see it and don't make amends, then a happy marriage will eventually fall apart.
-01-
From caring for you to not caring anymore
I have seen a story before, and I feel very deeply in my heart.
It was already early in the morning, the man was still singing with his friends in the KTV, and the wife was worried about her husband, so she called his friend when she did not answer his phone. After hanging up the phone, the friend joked: "Sister-in-law really cares about you, what secret is there to make your sister-in-law so nervous about you, tell us about it." ”
His friend's kind jokes made him feel humiliated, and he felt that his wife had lost face for himself. That night, he went home with a drink and yelled at his wife: I am a man, with my own life and privacy, you don't interfere casually, what right do you have? After saying that, he rushed into the living room and closed the door with all his might.
The wife stayed where she was, she didn't understand how her concern could be like this, at this moment she was completely dead hearted, and the man in front of her suddenly became so strange.
Later, the man and his friends went to the bathing city to get a pedicure, because they were too tired, everyone fell asleep, and when they woke up, the buddies in one of his private rooms were busy changing clothes, the phone was holding the phone, a panicked look, and kept saying to him: "Broken, overslept, just looked at the phone, the wife made eight phone calls, sent four text messages, I have to hurry back." ”
After the friend finished speaking, he pulled out his mobile phone to see that the screen was clean, there were no missed calls, no unread messages. At that moment, he was suddenly a little lost.
Freezing three feet is not a day's cold, and a woman's despair is never formed at once, but accumulated over a long period of time.
A woman from the heart is you to no longer care, how much despair you have to go through in the heart, and this despair is caused by you a little, when she no longer booed you warmly, no longer cares about you, cares about your whereabouts, and even treats you as the most familiar stranger, then she will leave you.
-02-
From seeking comfort to adapting to complaining
Life in the world, unsatisfactory things nine times out of ten, marriage is the same, husband and wife living together should have borne the wind and rain together, but many times, as long as something goes wrong, some men do to their wives to complain rather than comfort.
Friend Xiaofei has been depressed lately, because she is not skilled in driving, she collided with someone else on the road, fortunately not serious. After the husband rushed to the scene, he left her in front of all the people: "You can't drive, don't drive, can't you take a taxi, you see a good car has become like this, I didn't expect you to be so stupid." ”
If it weren't for the passers-by advising him to forget it, he didn't seem to have the intention of stopping.
When Xiaofei told me about this matter, I comforted her: "He is also for your own good, afraid that you will have an accident, maybe the words are a little heavy, you just have to think about it from another angle." ”
Xiaofei originally thought that her husband was only anxious to say this for his own good.
But unexpectedly, in the next few days, as long as something happened, he would keep blaming himself, as if she had deliberately committed these things, and at first, she chose to be patient.
But later, she couldn't stand it, so she filed for divorce, and when her husband asked her what she had done wrong, she was just a light and light inappropriate.
As the saying goes, mourning is greater than heart death, if a woman's heart is full of sadness, in this relationship can not see the slightest love, then she will naturally choose to give up.
Marriage is about ginking and chirping, not complaining to each other; it is encouraging each other, not tearing each other down.
-03-
From non-stop nagging to silence
Many times, men are particularly disgusted by women's nagging, especially want to seek a quiet, but do not know that as long as a woman continues to nag you, then marriage is still hopeful, because she still has you in her heart.
Friend Daqin and his wife talked about love for 5 years, and finally smoothly entered the palace of marriage. Because there are 5 years of love as the foundation, their emotional foundation is very strong, when they first got married, the two were particularly affectionate, and their lives were also very happy.
But marriage is not only love, if you simply consider love, then as long as Qingqing I spend the previous month is enough, when the passion of marriage recedes, marriage will be left with chai rice oil salt sauce vinegar tea chicken feathers.
After a long time, the wife began to nag, Daqin's clothes were not put away, she would say; the kitchen was not packed, she would say; go to a relative's house to visit, he would say; even Daqin's work, she also followed the mix.
After two years of marriage, their first family war broke out, and Da Qin said, "Can you please leave so much alone, I have my own ideas, it's really annoying for you to manage it." After Da Qin finished speaking, his wife cried bitterly, and she felt that Da Qin did not love herself anymore, and was no longer the one who cared for herself.
That night, for the first time, they slept separately.
After this incident, the wife changed like a person, she no longer nagged to Da Qin, nor did she say superfluous words, the husband and wife suddenly became very strange, when Da Qin enjoyed this quiet, the wife proposed a divorce without warning.
Da Qin asked the reason, and his wife said lightly, "We are not suitable." "Just like that, a good marriage was so broken.
In life, men must not complain about women's nagging, I think that is love, if it is not love for you, I think they will definitely not care about you, and when they do not want to care about you, then the heart will die, and the marriage will naturally come to an end.
-04-
From seeking care to adapting to loneliness
Some men have a very good face and want women to give him enough face outside, but they never consider women's feelings, can't empathize, and as long as they are comfortable in life.
A reader married such a husband, and this marriage also made her miserable.
Once, she was sick and did not cook, so she called her husband to come back earlier, and her husband promised to be very good but came back very late, and when he saw that his wife did not cook, he said: "I am starving, why haven't you cooked yet." ”
The reader felt particularly aggrieved and said weakly: "I am sick and very uncomfortable, why are you so selfish?" She had expected her husband to care about her, but she didn't expect him to say, "Am I selfish?" Which of this family is not something I have earned so hard, and it is a joke to say that I am selfish. After saying that, she walked away without looking back, and when she heard the sound of closing the door, her heart was completely cold.
Caring for people is something that is innate, and it is not necessary to learn from special training the day after tomorrow. If in marriage, he does not know how to give, then such a marriage is useless.
If a man is selfish and never considers the woman's feelings, then the woman will not continue, because he knows that he can never wake up a person who pretends to be asleep, and his accommodation will only make the other party more unscrupulous.
We all aspire to a happy marriage, but a happy marriage requires two people to run together, not one party to give one party selfishly, which is ultimately not to care.
If a man doesn't care and is particularly selfish in his marriage, then the marriage will soon come to an end because women have long since settled into loneliness.
Tu Lei, an emotional mentor, once said: "Don't let a woman adapt to loneliness, once she adapts, she no longer needs you."
Many times, women really don't want much, a gentle hug, a sweet greeting or a shoulder to lean on, but these are becoming more and more extravagant.
Many men do not know that in the woman's reduced temper, it is the disappointment in him, the despair of marriage, and the reason why he still retains the marriage relationship is because he still wants to give you a chance. When the disappointment is enough, she will definitely leave quietly.
May you be kind to your wife in your marriage, don't let her chill, only then will the marriage continue to be happy.