Parents of our generation are very committed to stick education: children are disobedient, just beat them.
When I was a child, I was often beaten: things were broken, beaten; tasks were forgotten, beaten; exams were smashed, and then beaten again. While beating, I also have to explain: "Golden stick out of good people" have you heard? See if you can do it next time?
Really, thank you.
I always thought that I was beaten entirely because my rural parents were uneducated and had no better education methods.
Growing up to watch "Dream of the Red Chamber", oh, the children of the nobles were not less beaten. Only to know that China's educational philosophy is in the same vein. It doesn't matter what happens in your village, in your city, those who have money and those who don't have money, and the fate of being beaten is similar.
One
The first baby to be beaten up was Jarry.
Jia Rui is the grandson of Jia Dairu, the "principal" of Jia Fu Jia Shu. It's not a success, it's not smart, it's lustful. He doesn't do practical things all day long, and he is idle, either snuggling xue pan or looking around.
This time, when he came and went, he actually took a fancy to Wang Xifeng and went up. Sister Feng is a "hero in the fat powder pile", that is also a married woman. In ancient times, how harsh on women, gossip can impregnate the pig cage. Sister Feng sent him away with three words and two words, but he didn't care, running to the house every day, with a posture of not giving up until he reached his goal.
Sister Feng will be afraid? If you don't cry daddy call out to your mother, you don't know how the name "Phoenix Spicy" came from.
As soon as his eyes rolled, he set up a game.
She lied to him and said: Actually, I think you are not bad, let's go on a date at night, just in the west side of the hall, at night, the doors on both sides are closed, there is no one.
Bear child Jared believed it to be true. At night, I touched the Rong Mansion, and sure enough, the doors on both sides were closed, and there was no one in the hall, of course, there was no Feng Jie'er. The doors on both sides could not be opened, and the high walls on both sides could not jump out. The wind blowing through the hall of the waxing moon blew one night, and it almost did not freeze to death.
When he returned home, he still had to accept his grandfather's cross-examination, so he had to lie and say that he went to his uncle's house, and as a result, he was recognized by his grandfather:
Dai Ru said, "Since I came out, I didn't dare to go out without permission, how did I go privately yesterday?" According to this, it should also be beaten, let alone lying! Therefore, he beat thirty or forty boards fiercely, and was not allowed to eat, so that he knelt in the courtyard to read articles, and was bound to make up for ten days of work lessons. Jared froze all night, and now he was beaten bitterly, and he knelt in the wind with hunger and read the article, and his pain was overwhelming.
Jarry knelt down to read in the cold wind on an empty stomach
If you manage it so strictly, you still don't argue and become a material.
A beating, in addition to making the child miserable for a while, almost getting sick, did not make him realize that he was wrong, let alone correct it.
This is not, once deceived, I don't realize that it is Feng Jie who is teasing him. Insisting on dying, he came to look for Sister Feng again when he was free.
Again and again, again and again, Sister Feng also made a fierce attack this time, directly arranging for Jia Rong and Jia Qiang to rectify him. The two men grabbed him and intimidated him, forced him to write an IOU and extorted money, and let him blow alone in the cold wind, and poured a body of feces on the head. Jared realized that he was being played with, and when he went back, he fell ill.
Until death, acacia is over.
Two
To say that Jia Rui was beaten by everyone still feels that he deserves it, and Bao Yu is beaten, everyone feels pain.
Baoyu was also unlucky to be beaten, and the three things went together.
The first thing: Jia Yucun came to his home as a guest, and Jia Zheng ordered Bao Yu to accompany him. The original intention is to let Baoyu gradually contact the economy of Shitu and entertain guests. As a result, Baoyu did not come for half a day, and when he came, he was listless and very rude. Jia Zhengben was not angry, looking at his long and short sighs, he only felt sick and moaning, and added three points of gas.
I was criticizing him, and the second thing came again. It turned out that the Changshi officials of the Zhongshun Palace had come to Jia Province to ask for the missing drama Zi Qiguan in their palace. Bao Yu refused to admit it, but was exposed to chang shi guan's face: You two have a bad relationship? His red sweat towel is still tied around your waist! Baoyu was stunned and had to identify Qi Guan's secret residence.
Hook up with the drama, provoke the royal palace, and lie. Jia Zheng was furious and had the urge to beat people.
After sending the Changshi official of the Zhongshun Palace out, before he could go back to educate the rebels, he met Jia Huan and told Bao Yu of the black form:
"My mother told me that Brother Baoyu had been raped and beaten up the day before in his wife's house, pulling his wife's handmaiden Jin Jun'er and beating her. That Jin Jun'er gambled and died. ”
The third thing was really serious, Jia Zheng's string was broken, and the anger value directly cut through the long sky, highlighting the sky.
Shouting: "Take the treasure jade!" As he spoke, he went to the study and drank his life: "Today someone advised me again, I will hand over this crown to him and Baoyu as soon as I should take my furniture!" I must not be a sinner, shave off these few troublesome sideburns, find a clean place to go, and avoid the sin of insulting my ancestors and giving birth to a rebellious son. ”
It's really angry and beaten to death. This beating, the straight-hitting Baoyu's face was white and weak, and the green gauze coat underneath was blood stained. Take off the sweat towel to see, from the buttocks to the shin, or blue or purple, or whole or broken, there is no good at all.
Baoyu was beaten and the soldiers were in chaos
Hit too hard and almost went half-life. Sure enough, the whole family was alarmed, and there was chaos. Jia Zheng himself looked back at God and deeply regretted it.
Bao Yu's beating was not unjust, but it was also a bit wronged.
In fact, the three things committed, the pile has another hidden plot.
Bao Yu was listless, and his long sigh was because he had just finally plucked up the courage to complain to Sister Lin, but he complained to the attacker, so his heart was full of sorrow, and he really had no spirit to socialize.
Bao Yu recognized Qi Guan as a friend, and since Qi Guan had privately purchased real estate to escape from the Zhongshun Palace, Bao Yu would definitely hide it, which was also the righteousness of his friend.
Not to mention the fact that Jin Jun's throwing into the well was not to be mentioned.
Jin Ju was expelled from the palace by Lady Wang and thrown into the well because of her teasing with Bao Yu, more because of Lady Wang's persecution.
Bao Yu was at fault, he was flirting with the squirrel everywhere, and the crime of attempted rape was purely a rumor.
Jia Zheng did not ask the reason, only saw some of the facts, combined with his own imagination and cognition, he identified Baoyu's "criminal facts".
This fat beating is not so much about education as it is about venting your anger.
As for the child, hitting so hard, I don't see any change.
Three
In our traditional cultural impression, the father is always strict.
Whether it was Bao Yu or Jia Huan, when they met their father, they looked like they were facing a great enemy.
Jia Baoyu meets his father:
Looking up, it was no one else, but his father, who had already taken a breath and had to stand with his hand hanging down.
Jia Huan meets his father:
Jia Huan saw his father, and he was so fluffy that he stood with his head down.
This is where the son meets the father, this is the mouse meets the cat.
The so-called strict father should be like Jia Zheng, as if he did not have to beat or scold to show that his tutoring was strict.
Baoyu went to school and asked him for peace.
Jia Zheng sneered, "If you mention the word 'going to school' again, even I will be ashamed to death." According to my words, it is righteous that you are stubborn. Stand carefully dirty on my ground, lean against my door! ”
Jia Zheng drank and scolded Baoyu in front of Keqing
Parents are looking forward to their children to understand things, not to think about playing all day, and hope that children will study well and become righteous as soon as possible.
But such a blow is ironic, and the child can understand the pain of the parents?
In addition to making the child afraid of the parents, can he be corrected?
Baoyu failed to become a successful career economic talent in the eyes of the world.
Jia Huan is even more worrying and useless.
The decline of Jha is closely linked to their backward and misguided education. Without the correct education method, the younger generations cannot produce talents, and the prominent family naturally cannot last for a long time.
Children are born with a blank piece of paper, all dependent on their parents to guide the drawing.
If parents have more patience when their children draw wrong, point out the wrong places and redraw.
Instead of seeing the wrong place and criticizing the painting as useless, plus all-round personal attacks, it cannot help him recognize the problem or teach him how to correct the method.
Could it be that by scolding and criticizing, the child realizes the problem himself and then finds a way to correct it?
Stick-and-stick education has a long history. However, it is time to abandon this kind of stick-style education method that mostly vents emotions.
Parents are the greatest destiny of children. Everyone wants to give their children the best childhood and give their children the best way to go.
So, please parents when they encounter children making mistakes, do not be impulsive, whether you chant the Scriptures or pinch yourself, and forcibly control your flood power that is about to rush out.
Take a deep breath, calm down, objectively investigate the truth, accurately recognize the problem, and then guide the child correctly and give him suggestions and methods. Help him correct his mistakes and accompany him on the right path.
Instead of letting emotions sway, denying criticism to children, and scolding at every turn.
In this way, it can not only harvest the real progress of the child, but also harvest the respect and love of the child, and establish a more intimate and healthy parent-child relationship. Let children also learn to control emotions and learn to calmly deal with various things.
By example, you are their role model.
A child is a copy of an adult