Revisiting the TV series "Snail House", Haiping is still a wife who suffocates men, and the most common words on her lips are - who let me marry you, only to live such a hard life now.
In Hai Ping's eyes, the couple are both highly qualified students, more educated and capable than the neighbors around them, but they are crowded in a rental house of several square meters like them, all because the husband has no ability.
Women like Haiping, who complain constantly after marriage and always feel that they are not married well, are also very common in real life.
The more middle-aged, the older and the younger, the more unable to balance the ideal and reality, and then compared with the well-mixed peers, the deeper the resentment in the heart.
At this time is also the most fragile time for husband and wife feelings, men have the pressure of men, coupled with the wife does not understand, like Haiping's husband Su Chun, who is forced to take a detour of helplessness.
Some women who get married always regret that they have married the wrong person, in fact, if they don't marry this person, they will marry that person and live a similar life as they are now.
Your upbringing, education, insight, and ability determine what kind of person you will marry, you are in the same condition, in the same class.
Therefore, instead of complaining that the husband is incompetent, it is better to think about how hard the couple must work to make the day better.
Heaven is very fair, how good you are, you deserve how good a person, what kind of marriage you run, what kind of marriage you will have.
Don't believe it, those women who marry well all have commonalities, not because they have a good life, but because they have the ability to manage marriage and have the ability to live happily. For example, occasionally "confused", live a little "selfish", have a good personality and so on.
Occasionally "confused" is the great wisdom of women
In marriage, women must learn to pretend to be confused, pretending to be confused does not mean being patient and having no opinion, but a kind of open-minded and intelligent performance.
The more you try to figure things out, the easier it is to get caught up in troubles, and over time, you will be exhausted in your marriage and your relationship with your partner will be strained.
Most of the women who marry well understand such a truth: if they want to marry easily and comfortably, they are occasionally confused, less calculating, more tolerant, and their troubles will be less than half.
A little confused about men's commitments.
Commitment in love has a time limit, and at one point, you are at a different stage. Maybe it was the period of love passion, he said you believed, you will not doubt whether he can do it, he will not doubt whether he can not do it.
But people's feelings are fluid, and some commitments can't stand up to scrutiny.
Never bring commitment into daily life, grasp a man's long-ago commitments, compare them with his current words and deeds, and once found that he has not done what he promised, accuse men of not having integrity.
A little confused about men's vanity.
Most men want face, face is his self-esteem, especially in front of outsiders, women must know how to maintain men's vanity. Instead of embarrassing him by pointing out his mistakes in public.
You occasionally pretend to be confused to maintain his face, he will keep it in mind, and he will take good care of you in marriage.
Just like Anjie and Jiang Defu in "Parental Love", an anjie with a temper of big miss, when he meets Jiang Defu for face, he will also stand with Jiang Defu in front of many colleagues to satisfy his vanity and give him enough face.
Be simple-minded, don't be too real in everything, learn to give men face, fake confusion instead of real confusion, this is the great wisdom of being a woman.
Live a little "selfish" and know how to love yourself
Carnegie, the master of interpersonal relations, once advised women: No matter how heavy the burden on you is, and no matter how busy you are at work every day, it is very important to be kind to yourself and let yourself have some leisure time.
This is also the most common thing I say to married women, even if your identity is wife, mother, daughter, don't put all your time and energy on your family, love them at the same time, but also learn to love yourself.
To love yourself is to give yourself some free time to do what you love to do, such as shopping with friends, watching a movie, drinking a cup of coffee, or doing nothing and quietly in a daze.
As long as you have your own time, during which you are free, you can feel happy.
When my wife consulted me, she complained that she was busy with the family all day and didn't even have time to cut her hair. When I suggested that she take time out of her daily hustle and bustle to give herself, she was embarrassed.
She said, "Where can I find time?" Don't I want to enjoy life? But in addition to going to work, it is the business of rich people to take care of children, to take care of the elderly, to cook, and to enjoy life. ”
I continued to ask, what about the weekend? Even if you set aside half an hour for yourself.
She added: "The weekend is too busy to stop, with the children, washing clothes, cleaning, I have no clue." ”
This is probably the daily routine of many mothers, but these routines are divided into two categories. One is to take over all the housework, and inefficient, busy all day long looking back at the home is still messy; the other is that the wife knows how to divide labor with her husband, return the husband's responsibility to the husband, and know how to arrange time reasonably, improve efficiency, and always squeeze out her own time.
Sometimes, women must live a little selfish in marriage, not to make a big deal.
Husbands and wives should have divided their work and cooperated with each other for family life, and the husband and wife should also go to work, so why should the husband and wife go home from work, the husband can rest, and the wife still has to "go to work"?
Observe the couples around you and me, but where the marriage is happy and life is happy, the husband undertakes part of the housework, and the wife has leisure time to enjoy life.
With a good character, you will be luckier
Someone always keeps asking: Why do others have good luck, but I can't get any good luck? Just like marriage, the husbands met by college classmates and girlfriends are excellent and gentle, why do the men I meet are so disappointing?
Or the previous sentence, what kind of person are you, how you choose to run the marriage, what kind of life you will have.
Women who marry well are not because they saved the galaxy in their previous lives, but because they have a good character.
What is good character? Nothing more than the following:
Be kind-hearted, know how to empathize with others, and be able to think from the perspective of others. At the same time, this kindness has a sharp edge, will not be weak, blindly kind, know how to refuse when it should be rejected, and have its own principles.
Calm and rational in the face of things, able to see the essence of the problem. A cool head will keep you awake and not act impulsively to intensify the conflict no matter what problems you encounter.
Independent, will not rely on the husband for everything. Independent women know when to rely on themselves and when to rely on their husbands, and will not pin all their hopes in life on their husbands.
In fact, women who feel they are not marrying well have a hard time doing all of the above.
They are either cowardly and do not know how to refuse, no matter how much the husband does and says too much, they dare not defend themselves and let the other party trample on their bottom line;
Either the personality is strong, easy to do things impulsively, and when encountering sesame-sized things, they will be angry, and they will turn a small thing into a family war;
Either financially and mentally are not independent, dependent on the husband for everything, and then meet an unreliable man, the greater your hope for him, the greater the disappointment.
It is said that character determines fate, if a woman wants to live out what she wants in marriage, she must learn to change the disadvantages in her personality and slowly cultivate into a better self.
Today's Topic:
What do you think the women who marry well have in common?
Flower Shadow World: Focus on interpreting the emotional problems of marriage, and give you comfort and warmth in the hustle and bustle of the world