Text | Yo-yo Mom
Official number | Yo-Yo Mom German Parenting
Today, I will share with you Marx's fallacious theories and heresies, and every time I talk to him about something, he can bring out a set of theories.
This may be his occupational disease, because doing sociological research work in college, he often needs to interview many individuals and gather information and opinions from individuals.
An important part of writing an academic paper is to elevate the ideas and experiences of this individual to the theoretical level. If it cannot rise to the theoretical level, it is not a qualified academic paper.
Living abroad, many excellent Chinese around them are admitted from first-class universities in China. This group of people has both high intelligence and no lack of fighting spirit, and the expectations for their children are naturally not low. Therefore, it is not surprising that the academic performance of foreign Chinese children is generally better than the local average.
From time to time, I will hear about the tiger mother of who asks her child to take the first exam, and if she does not pass the first exam, she will be criticized...
I glanced at Yuya Youya who was jumping up and down in the living room, and thought for two seconds, do you want to make such a request to the chick? She is also too relaxed every day now, and it is not difficult to try to get the first place in the class (in fact, there is no exam yet, I don't know how many she ranks).
Marx and I have always had a business idea, so we asked Marx for his opinion. As soon as he heard my description, his face was disdainful, and he couldn't suppress calling out too stupid!
Then he began to talk about his fallacies:
"Why do you have to go first?" Why just stare at these superficial things? Whether it's number one or not, it doesn't matter that much.
The first place in our class before was Christian (our dentist, who opened his own dentist clinic), he used to study all day long, very hard, in order to get the first, sacrificed a lot of time with everyone to play, so the social skills have not been well developed, you see he is still very uncomfortable dealing with people. ”
"I think Christian is doing very well now, why did he compete for the first place?"
"Because he has a genius brother, his brother learns everything quickly, often takes the first place, and his parents prefer his brother." Christian is not as smart as his brother, and in order to prove that he is not worse than his brother, he has to work twice as hard and time to achieve the first place result.
A person's time is limited, and the more time spent on studying, the time spent on other things will be squeezed. In addition to learning, there are many soft skills that are also very important, social, emotional intelligence, creativity. Spending time on learning every day, where is the time to cultivate other abilities? "
"Well, that makes sense..." I nodded.
Marx continued: "In fact, people like Christian, although not the most intelligent genius, are also very smart, and a little effort can get into the top few. There's no need to double the time to improve that number of points. The more time you invest, the lower the marginal effect.
If you don't insist on being the first, you can have a lot of time left to do something else. Why do you have to force the first place? ”
When I heard it, I almost laughed: "You're talking about yourself, right?" Not for the best, but for balance. Being human, happiness is the most important - in the eyes of many Chinese, this is called laziness. ”
Marx expressed disbelief: "This is not laziness, this is called the rational allocation of time." Work smarter, not harder.
Sebastian is a good example of this, he is also very smart and not very sociable. After studying physics at university, he went to Switzerland after getting his PhD in Germany and now works at cernion research at CERN, which has the world's largest particle accelerator.
Sebastian was very open to grades when he was in school and often played with us. Although the Waldorf school we attended did not attach great importance to physics, it did not delay his later development in the field of physics.
And I think it's Waldorf's emphasis on cultivating whole people that gives him a lot of opportunities to develop abilities other than academics and not to become a nerd who doesn't deal with people. ”
I recalled some of the reports I had read before, adding: "In the United States, some smart students who love to learn are not welcomed by their classmates in middle school, or even rejected, because they are incompatible with the people around them, and they feel very miserable and lonely."
Only when you enter the university and meet a peer of the same level as yourself, you feel a sense of belonging. I don't know if this is the case in Germany? ”
"There may be such a phenomenon in German schools. It is very important to have a good classmate relationship in school. I don't want my child to be ostracized and isolated by her peers at school, which is very detrimental to her growth and mental health. That's why she has to learn how to deal with her classmates.
Sometimes, people who are too smart have to learn to hide their intelligence in order to integrate into the collective. ”
"It's also too different from China. In China, students with excellent grades will receive preferential treatment from teachers, and the crowds of classmates will not need to worry about not having friends, let alone be excluded..." I said.
I took a closer look at what he said and thought wasn't he talking about the positive vs negative data I wrote in monday's article?
Exam rankings are positive data that is visible and quantifiable to the naked eye, while invisible soft skills are negative data that cannot be measured, but cognition composed of negative data is a person's core competitiveness.
I suddenly found that Marx's theory seemed to have something in common with the big "tenth phenomenon" I had heard since I was a child!
When I was a child, I always heard from my teacher that children who ranked tenth in the exam often grew up to be more successful than those who took the first place. I didn't understand why then, but now I do.
Of course, the "tenth phenomenon" is only a general statement and does not represent an absolute value. But I think the reason behind the phenomenon may be that the children in the upper and middle grades do not spend all their time studying because they do not have the pressure to take the first place, but have more time and freedom to explore the things they like.
Although measured by positive data, they are not among the best. But the time spent on play and hobbies is not wasted, but transformed into invisible negative data, and finally in the growth and running of people, gradually exert efforts to achieve a person.
Looking at the yo-yo who has been busy climbing up and down all day, I am also a little relieved. Climbing up and down like a monkey is also a matter of exercising and improving your athletic ability. Hopefully, one day it will also translate into negative data!
I don't know what everyone thinks of Marx's theory? Welcome to leave a message to discuss!
Yo-Yo Mama in Germany on December 17, 2021
This article is from the public number: Yo-Yo Ma German Parenting (ID: yoyomadeguo)
Author: Yo-Yo Mom, studying in the Netherlands to meet love, studying in Saudi Arabia to feel the exotic style, working in Ireland alone through pregnancy, raising two mixed-race female dolls in Germany, sister "Yo-Yo" 7 years old, sister "Ranran" 10 months, Father Marx is a German sociologist with a delicate appearance and a delicate heart. Share the interesting life and cultural collision of Chinese and Western families, and gain insight into German education. His masterpiece "Learning Parenting with German Mothers".