In "Xiao Min's Family", Wang Sumin, who has been divorced for many years, once said that she did not look for those old men because those old men just wanted to find someone to serve them. At that time, I felt that although this statement was partial and comprehensive, it was also really transparent.
Why do I think she's partial?
Because there are some such men in life, they want to remarry in order to have someone to take care of him, but there are also many who really come together because they love and appreciate each other, and their marriages can also be very happy.
Why do I think she's transparent again?
Because no matter what the reason for the marriage, the pattern after marriage is roughly the same, our traditional family model determines that the wife is to take care of the family to take care of the husband, the older the more can reflect this.
When I looked at Xiao Min and Chen Zhuo's married life, the more I realized Wang Sumin's transparency, and her "not looking for the old man" was wise.
Xiao Min and Chen Zhuo's marriage.
Although Xiao Min and Chen Zhuo are a halfway couple, there is love between them. They have also experienced entanglements and breakups for their children, and if it is not true love, it is difficult for them to finally come together.
But even with such true love, I still feel very sorry for Xiaomin. Not long after she married Chen Zhuo, Chen Zhuo was diagnosed with kidney cancer, and she began to take care of him and encourage him as a patient's family.
Her marriage to Chen Zhuo only received a marriage certificate, invited her family and friends to a meal, no wedding, no diamond ring, no bride price. Of course, these, we will feel that they are originally second marriage, it does not matter.
But after marriage, her obligation as a wife will not be reduced by the second marriage, she must take care of her husband, take care of the family, not only to encourage the lover, but also to encourage his children. She did it because she loved him and because she was his wife.
Everyone does not know how Chen Zhuo's illness will develop, and everyone is thinking in a positive and optimistic direction, but it is inevitable that they will prepare for the worst in their hearts. Xiao Min's plan was that she would always be with Chen Zhuo, no matter how he was, no matter how many days he still had. Chen Zhuo's plan is to leave the real estate, shares, and insurance to his daughter and entrust it to his ex-wife.
Does Chen Zhuo love Xiaomin? Definitely love. He was bent on divorcing Xiaomin, but he didn't want to drag her down, which was a fact. However, in the distribution of his property, there is no Xiaomin at all, which is also a fact. Xiao Min refused to divorce, she is his wife, no matter how sick he is, she will take care of him, and only she will take care of him.
This is their marriage. Just as Chen Tianfu said, everyone knows Xiao Min's personality, even if Chen Zhuo said that he wanted to give her property, Xiao Min would not want it. Yes, Xiao Min married Chen Zhuo, it was not for money, but others do not want, and you do not give, this is not the same.
I kept thinking that if Xiao Min didn't get married, her life would still be the same as before, working, promoting, visiting her mother and accompanying her son in her spare time. But she got married, and her life did not get better, but on the contrary, she carried a burden. What does she want?
There is only one explanation, and that is love. She's pictured love, and she was willing.
Wang Sumin's "don't look for the old man".
Wang Sumin is a transparent old lady and an enlightened mother. Although she made up her mind to "not look for the old man", she has always respected her daughter's decision on the matter of Xiaomin's remarriage. Why?
Because she knows that Xiao Min really loves Chen Zhuo, their marriage is not because Chen Zhuo wants to find someone to serve him and marry - although Xiao Min will eventually be unable to escape the fate of serving Chen Zhuo.
Wang Sumin herself did not want to remarry, although she said that "those old men just want to find someone to serve them", but in fact, it is true that she has not met a reliable old man.
In the early years, although she divorced her husband, her ex-husband was still taken care of by her after he fell ill, saying that he was the father of her child, and she could not ignore him. She even told Xiao Min that if her ex-husband was still alive, they might also remarry. So it's not that she really doesn't want to find an old man, but that she wants to find a reliable old man with feelings.
Later, she met Chen Tianfu, who had a good feeling for her, but only a good feeling. Chen Tianfu flashed marriage three times, the naked eye can see the unreliable, saw Wang Sumin's side, just want to go to people's homes to rub rice, with Wang Sumin's transparency, of course, will choose to respect him, she does not need to find such an old man to add to her own blockage.
In Wang Sumin's view, she has worked hard for most of her life, and in her old age, instead of finding an old man to serve him, it is better to go to the nursing home alone, chat and dance every day, and live a more comfortable life.
This is the wisdom of Wang Sumin, she will not just find a companion to find an old man to marry and live a life, because she knows that after getting married, she will have to take on the responsibility of a wife, take care of the family and take care of her husband, so the person who does not let her willingly take care of her is of course not as good as living alone.
Just imagine, if she really just wanted to have a companion to find someone to remarry, at their age, not only to face each other's property defenses, favoritism towards their respective children, she also had to cook and do housework to take care of the whole family, and even take care of each other's family, can she not complain?
Halfway couple.
From Xiao Min's marriage and Wang Sumin's insistence on being single, we have also found that it is really difficult for a halfway couple. Whether or not they have feelings for each other, there are always some real problems that cannot be circumvented.
Just like Chen Zhuo, he really loves Xiaomin, he will feel guilty because of his illness, he feels that he owes Xiaomin, but he will only give his property to his daughter and father, not to Xiaomin. There is nothing wrong with him doing this, logically speaking, but emotionally speaking, if I were Xiao Min, I would feel unwilling and worthless.
This is the problem that the halfway couple must face, since you have become a husband and wife, you have responsibilities and obligations to each other, the husband wants to be taken care of by the wife, the wife wants to get the care of the husband, which is no different from ordinary couples. However, in terms of interests, they are always more partial to their children, which is also the common sentiment of people.
So what will be the result? You will feel that you have given a lot for your lover, but the lover has not given you enough gratitude and feedback, and even feel that he is selfish and does not think about you at all.
This is why many marriage experts have found that the happiness rate of second marriage is much lower than that of first marriage after investigation. It is not that second-married couples have no real feelings, nor does it mean that they are only for profit or money, but that those practical problems can easily cause their inner imbalance and unwillingness.
Speaking of this, you may wonder, why in the marriage of Xiao Min and Chen Zhuo, Xiao Min did not have an imbalance and was not unwilling? That's exactly what I'm writing this for. Because Xiaomin has enough feelings for Chen Zhuo, they love each other, love makes Xiaomin turn bitterness into sweetness, and love makes her become unconcerned.
Many people think that remarrying after divorce does not need to consider feelings, only need to consider whether it is appropriate, which is really a very big misunderstanding. It is precisely because of remarriage that you need love more, because if there is not enough love, you simply cannot resist the reality and suffering between the husband and wife halfway.
So, if you're a divorced woman and you want to choose to remarry, make sure you love the man enough and make sure that the man is worthy of your love, because once you get into this marriage, you have to take responsibility for the marriage and it doesn't change just because you're a halfway couple.
If you are a divorced man and you want to choose to remarry, you must not just want to find someone to serve you, you must love her enough and have the will to care for her and treat her well. Otherwise, even if you get married, she will be unwilling because of the imbalance and will not be able to give you the happiness you want.
In fact, both men and women, as long as you enter marriage, you must understand such a truth: only enough love can resist all the grinding and changes of life.
About the author: Meet and miss, a woman who likes to read and write, focusing on the creation of articles in the emotional field and the analysis and answer of emotional questions, I hope that my words can accompany you warmly forward.