If there is a problem with the relationship between men and women, who should solve it?

There are contradictions and conflicts between couples and couples, and I believe that many people will think that "the wrong person" should be solved.

For example, the relationship between the two is not good, the other party is cold and violent to you, and you think that the feelings have been caused by the other party until now. But in such a relationship, cold violence is likely to be a response for the other person.

For example, you are very anxious, always quarrel with your partner, and your partner feels that every time he will argue with you and expand the conflict, so he takes cold violence to stop the war. So in his opinion, he is not wrong, what is wrong is that you "always have to argue with him".

Therefore, when we talk about right and wrong, often both people feel that they are not wrong. In fact, the people who will really solve the problem are often people who have less "emotional withdrawal" in this relationship.

"Emotional withdrawal" is to withdraw your feelings from a specific object and scene and transfer them to other places.

For example, two people always quarrel, he feels that you are always unreasonable, always make trouble with him, wear out his love for you, his evaluation of you will be very low, which means that his feelings are more withdrawn. And you still think that he is very good, and still loves him, that is, your emotional withdrawal is relatively small.

The party who chooses to repair feelings is often a person with less emotional withdrawal, who still loves each other deeply, and is not willing, can't put it down, and is reluctant to do so, so it will take the initiative to solve the problem.

Love is a kind of motivation, can not let go is also a kind of motivation, this kind of motivation will force you to maintain the emotional connection between each other, take the initiative to solve problems.

This is also the reason why many people break up, divorce, and even after their partners cheat and make mistakes, they still take the initiative to save their feelings. It's not that the other person is particularly good, it's that you're not emotionally withdrawing.

So, when you have a relationship problem, you need to first judge what you really want.

If you want to let go of your heart but can't get out of pain, it means that your emotional withdrawal degree is too low, and you need to improve your emotional withdrawal degree and cut off the emotional connection with the other party in order to really come out.

And if what you want is to save the relationship and get back together, then you need to reduce the emotional withdrawal of the other party, rebuild the emotional connection with the other party, and pull the partner back, all of which have specific methods.

A lot of emotional entanglement focuses on not being able to figure out what you want. Don't always expect your partner to solve the problem. If you don't want the other person to want to get back together, take the initiative to repair; if you want to let go, go to the emotional transfer, cut off the emotional connection with him, and organize your heart to start a new life.

If you have emotional problems, marital crises, you can tell me your problems and we will solve them together.