Author: 43rd Floor Editorial Office Abandoned Sick
Source: Mom.com Parenting (ID: mmwyuer)
1
Can you believe it? Giving birth to a baby is also addictive!
I happened to watch a documentary "Who Comes to Dinner" and was very surprised.
In Taiwan, 39-year-old Guo Shiwei is holding her son, who is more than ten months old, in one hand, and shaking the freshly brewed milk powder in the other.
Like other mothers, she lived the same but different life.
The difference is that she has six children.
Yes, you read that right, in this age of not daring to have children, or daring to have too many children, this family has given birth to six in ten years.
There must be someone like me whose first reaction is that they are either too rich or crazy.
Is this really the case?
After understanding it, I realized that the truth was far more poignant than we imagined.
Guo Shiwei's third child, Xu Peiyang, suddenly stopped breathing and heartbeat one morning in 2014, only forty days, and the couple rushed the child to the hospital for rescue.
Fate is always cruel, and after more than a month, Peiyang is still gone.
This incident had a great impact on Guo Shiwei's family, but it also changed the way they looked at life, and for the first time they deeply realized:
It turns out that it is grace that children can breathe, that they will cry is also grace, and that crying is grace.
So they start to grow again, giving the child all the love and gentle and patient company.
Outside the old princess, bearing all the financial expenses of the family, Guo Shiwen is at home full-time and seriously educates every child.
Although guo Shiwei feels very tired from a dozen or five days of life, fortunately, the children are particularly sensible and well-behaved.
The boss Xu Panxin is 10 years old and his favorite is the piano. She is also the mother's most powerful little assistant, up to take care of her younger siblings, down to washing and cooking to sort out the housework, Pan Xin can always do the best within her ability.
Although the second elder Xu Yuehan is only 8 years old, she is a master of housework, assisting her mother and eldest sister to clean up is her favorite thing to do, she likes to tidy up the home, so that she feels very comfortable, so as long as there is time, she will take the initiative to roll up her sleeves to do housework.
Although the third elder Xu Peiyang died of illness, he has always lived well in the heart of the family, and when someone asks the children how many children you have in your family, they will answer: "Six." ”
The fourth xu muxuan is 5 years old this year, is the third sister of the family, but also the most lively child in the family, learned to dance she is a powerful "stretch king", the family can always see her practice the basic skills of the figure.
The fifth elder Xu Lizhe is 4 years old, grew up in the love of his parents and three sisters, he loves to spoil and play, and is the treasure of the family.
The old sixth Xu Yixuan is only 10 months old, he is the "big doll" of his sisters, and he is also the new hope of the family.
Speaking of this, it has to be mentioned that in order to save budget when she was six years old, Guo Shiwei did not give birth in the hospital.
Instead, accompanied by my husband, the child and the midwife, I welcomed the arrival of the sixth baby in my bathroom.
The bathtub replaced the delivery bed, the loud cry of the child filled everyone's ears, although the production conditions were not comfortable compared with before, but Guo Shiwei and her husband still felt extremely happy.
They even had the idea of having another one, but this was strongly opposed by the elders in the family.
Guo Shiwei's in-laws love her as if she were her own daughter, so on the one hand, she is worried that she will be too tired, on the other hand, she also considers that the age gap between the children is too small, and in the future, going to school, work, and starting a family, Guo Shiwei and her husband have to bear too much, and the pressure is too great.
Guo Shiwei and his wife did not care about this, in their opinion, it was enough to do their best to achieve a balance materially and spiritually.
Some people may question the selfish behavior of Guo Shiwei and her husband, after all, so many children, no matter how cautious, is also a bowl of water uneven.
I don't think so, on the one hand, Guo Shiwei and his wife really love every child and have good educational ability, on the other hand, they really like the life of their children around their knees, which is their choice.
There is a saying that goes: "Although the road of life is long, there are often only a few steps at the critical point." ”
You think it is enough to give birth to one, it is better not to have a child, and the second half of your life is free;
She feels that the more children there are, the more lively they are, and the more they can love and be loved.
No matter which way of life you choose, you must pay a corresponding price for it.
This is the responsibility of adults and the true freedom of reproduction.
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Also choosing such a lively life is a couple from Japan.
In Saitama Prefecture, Japan, husband Hiroshi Kiyama and wife Yoshizuki Kikuyama run a barber shop, and although both are only forty years old, they have had 11 children in the 20 years of marriage because they like children too much.
Friends with children know that even if there is only one child in the family, it is enough to work hard every day.
And the Lacquer Mountain family with 11 children, this busyness is magnified a thousand times.
Every morning at 5-6 o'clock, mother Qi Shan Jiayue will get up to prepare breakfast for the children and bring a lunch box to school, half of the meal is made, and then call her husband Qi Shan Heng and the children who want to go to school to get up and wash up.
After breakfast, Qi Shan Jiayue began to pack up the things for the children to go to school, sending the older children out of the house, and then sending the smaller children to the kindergarten, and finally taking the youngest to the barber shop to start a nearly 9-hour work.
Although there are many children, like Guo Shiwei's family, each child is well taught.
When the parents are busy with work, the eldest daughter Haiyin and the eldest son Qi Shan Isabi take on the role of taking care of their younger siblings.
After school, the two of them went to their siblings' school to pick them up from school, and when they got home, Haiyin turned around and began to fold the clothes they had washed last night, and sorted them into sorts.
She also volunteered to assign housework to her younger siblings, and even went to her parents' places of work on weekends to help.
Lacquer wasabi was responsible for more projects on weekdays, not only to play with his younger siblings after school, but also to take the youngest brother to get vaccinated when his hair needed to be repaired.
The little sister and the little brother are not idle.
When waiting for mom and dad to come home, if there are younger siblings who are hungry, the little four lacquered mountain yao will also make a plate of scrambled eggs, and after everyone eats beautifully, the little guy who is not high in the sink consciously steps on the bench to wash the dishes.
Although the children have been so sensible and consciously share the housework, Qi Shan Jiayue still can't rest when she returns home, and the things she has to do are still endless.
For example, eleven children changed a mountain of dirty clothes;
Prepare a super large amount of dinner;
Clean the dining table and kitchen;
She didn't eat a few bites until two o'clock in the evening before she could finally go to bed, but at 4:30 a.m. she had to get up again to clean up the clothes in the washing machine and dry them, otherwise her husband and children might have no clothes to wear.
At 5 o'clock, she called out to her husband and children, and the tired and new day began, day after day.
Tired? Of course.
Such a day of almost sleeplessness and twenty-four hours a day around the husband and children, in other words, no one can easily cope with it.
But Qi Shan JiaYue is as sweet as a glutton, for her, although it is really hard to work a big family, it is also really happy.
Whether it is a family celebrating a lively festival together, or going out on an outing and fitness together;
As long as the family is together, it can always create good memories.
As Yoshizuki Qishan said, "What accumulates with memories is a family."
The love for the children brings her endless energy and energy.
Although she is a little tired every day, she is always happy with the profession of "mother".
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Of course, not all people have a lot of children for the purpose of really liking, but more for the tradition that is engraved in the bones - passing on the generations.
Remember the tragedy in Yichun, Jiangxi last year?
A couple in their early thirties died of carbon monoxide poisoning in a rental house, leaving only 8 children alive.
Of the eight children, the youngest is 9 months old, and the oldest is only 12 years old.
Local villagers said that the husband of the couple is a native of Zhuting Town, and they already had 4 children when they returned to their hometown from Yichun City because of part-time work in Yichun City.
After returning to Zhuting Town, the man bought a van to help others pull sand to earn money to support the family, while the woman took care of the children at home.
Slowly, more and more children are born.
A few years later, all but the youngest three children went to school, and the already poor family was even worse.
What is even more incomprehensible is that when the young couple gave birth to their fourth child, the local village committee dissuaded the young couple from having fewer children, and the two insisted on having children, and their family conditions were average, and the village committee could not make substantive intervention, and the punishment was naturally over.
Why do poor people have so many children?
There is only one reason: to want a son, a healthy son.
Among the two children, from the eldest to the fourth is a daughter, and the fifth is a son and has hearing defects.
What to do? Then born! Fight to the old sixth and seventh to get a pair of twin daughters, regeneration!
Old Eight is finally a healthy son.
Who knew that the son who had been waiting for him was so young, and the couple died unexpectedly.
The 8 children left behind will live with their grandmothers and uncles and aunts in the future, and the local government will give each child a monthly orphan subsidy of 1200 yuan until they are 18 years old.
But what's the use? Both parents are gone.
Even more tragic than the couple's accidental death is that these 8 children were not born in love, but "left behind".
Yes, it is said that "raising children to prevent old age", but how many people have misinterpreted the meaning of this sentence, thinking that only "raising children" can achieve "no worries after old age".
When fertility is free, it is replaced by "leaving a queen".
How sad!
Coincidentally, there are couples in Guangxi who are also frequent guests of hot searches.
This post-90s couple, husband Wei mou is 91 years old, wife Meng is 90 years old, from 2008 to now the two have had 10 children!
The family is poor, and what feeds this big family is the government's low security and Wei's poor income, so when he was 4 children, Meng never went to the hospital, and he was delivered by his mother-in-law in their damp, cold, and crumbling wooden house.
How poor is it?
There are no scissors in the family, and when the eldest is born, the umbilical cord is cut by the mother-in-law with a sickle.
Unlike the couple in Jiangxi, the reason they have so many children is simple.
Wei said that the two used contraceptives, but it was still inevitable to get pregnant, as long as they were pregnant, they would be born, and he did not want to be sterilized, after all: "It hurts a man's body too much." ”
Using pregnancy as a contraceptive? How ridiculous!
Life is already difficult, for ordinary people do not even dare to have a second child, they are ten in their lives!
The poorer you are, the poorer you are, the poorer you are.
Of course, we are not saying that poor people cannot have children, but we want to say that the poorer you are, the more cautious you must be about having children.
When having a child, the fight is not quantity, but quality.
You think that one is raising, two is pulling, and three is also belt, but in fact, such a density of fertility, not only adults are hard, but the future of children is almost visible.
In some places, not long after the birth of a child, parents will leave the child to the elderly in the family and go out to work to support the family, which also causes the most common situation - left-behind children.
According to the incomplete statistics of the report released by UNICEF,
Left-behind children in China account for 38% of China's total child population, and 3 out of every 10 rural children are left-behind children.
The elderly are already taking care of themselves, once there are more children in the family, how can they take good care of each child in every way.
Even if parents take their children with them, how can they solve a series of educational, psychological, cognitive and other problems caused by economic deprivation?
Other people's families are born as a unique group pet, and all the resources are thrown at one person, what about yours? 10 people grab a resource.
Such a big gap, when they grow up, let them take what a blockbuster, fly up the branches to become a phoenix!
4
Looking back at Chen Shiwei's family, from the time they planned to continue to have children, the couple was ready to face everything.
Although it is only an ordinary working family, they dare to give birth and dare to raise it.
The most rare thing is that Chen Shiwei's husband has always been the most solid backing of his wife, he supports a family with his actions, and gives his wife the love that cannot be replaced by returning the children.
He said: If you support and tolerate between husband and wife, there is no difficulty that cannot be overcome.
Compared with those men who only use their mouths to say that they are distressed by their wives, but let their wives bear the heavy responsibilities of the family, Chen Shiwei's husband is undoubtedly outstanding.
I think this is the biggest confidence that Chen Shiwei dares to have a child.
At this point, I would like to tell you that there is no doubt that childbearing is the most basic human right.
But only if you're really ready.
Participate in the birth of a life, witness the growth of a life, do not seek the perfection of children, do not have to fight for our faces, and do not have to help us to retire.
As long as this life exists healthily, there is enough courage in this world to fight against ups and downs, and that is enough.
Is quality important, or quantity important?
On the issue of having a child,
Maybe you and I will only get the answer after weighing ourselves.
Author: 43rd Floor Editorial Office Abandoned Sick. Pay attention to the mother network parenting (ID: mmwyuer), the mother and baby public account that 5 million mothers are watching, sharing practical parenting knowledge every day, so that you can become a better mother. Please contact Mom.com Parenting (ID: mmwyuer).
Editor of this issue: Xiao Zi.