In the once popular urban emotional drama "All Is Good", there is a topic that is very hot, that is, have you ever met your parents who prefer sons to daughters?
In the TV series, Su Mingyu's mother interpreted the preference for sons to the fullest, there is a scene of Su Mingyu being admitted to college, Su Mingyu said this to Su Mingyu, she said: "Su Mingyu, you are a girl, how can you compare with your two brothers?" We are only responsible for raising you until you are 18 years old, you will marry later, and when you are old, we do not need you to raise. ”
We often say that "the palms of the hands and the backs of the hands are all meat", but there are some parents who are uneven in the bowl of water and cannot be clear about the son preference, they do not think so, in their hearts, the son can expect him to retire after half a hundred years, the son can stay by his side, but the daughter marries out, it is not in his own home. This means that there may be no need to invest too much affection in his daughter, just in response to the sentence: "The water that the daughter who marries out spills out, spills it out, and can't get it back." ”
Son preference is the traditional consciousness of many more feudal families, in their hearts should be the difference between men and women, although now advocate everyone equality, but in the handling of sons and daughters, there will still be a large number of parents will be biased, and even make some chilling behaviors.
Lin Min is not the three houses of her parents, after all, she is a girl, she will get married later, the house is left for her brother, and she gives her parents a pension, which is the choice of her parents, she has no right to ask questions, and she does not want to say anything more.
However, not to mention the demolition money that was distributed, her parents pocketed, not a single point was given to Lin Min, and she also asked her boyfriend for a dowry of more than 100,000 yuan, and finally when it came to the dowry, her parents actually only gave her a second-hand car as a dowry, so that she could not lift her head in her in-laws' house.
Lin Min and her husband Xu Cong met when they were working in other provinces, Xu Cong was also born in the countryside, the situation at home is not very good, which is why Lin Min is worried about those dowries, bride price money, Xu Cong has a lot, and even borrowed a lot of money from relatives and friends. But I married myself, only this one has been driving for 5 years of second-hand car, anyone said, this is not good to say out and the car is not the same as the house, the car will depreciate, and the depreciation is severe, but the house is a real thing.
In the past, Lin Min's family situation was not good, if it was not just in time for the demolition, the parents were afraid that they would not be able to turn over, in Lin Min's consciousness, the parents were more or less patriarchal, but it was not particularly excessive.
For example, when two people went out to eat delicious food together when they were young, under normal circumstances, everything had to be eaten tightly with her brother, and after her brother ate, she could only start, and later, although when she was in school, her parents gave her brother and her living expenses a little disparity, but considering that her brother was a boy, she was a girl, and she spent less money, and she didn't care about these things, if it wasn't for these few sets of demolition houses, she really didn't think about her parents' thoughts.
This is not to blame Lin Minduo, their family demolition is long before Lin Min married, so Lin Min is also the first time to reveal his heart, and explain the situation of Xu Cong's family to his mother, saying that their family's economic difficulties are indeed not good:
"Mom, now it's not better than before, our family conditions are better, the bride price is almost a little meaningful, as for the dowry, we don't want anything, so that I can raise my head in the in-laws' house, and Xu Cong and I will have to pay off the mortgage and buy a car in the future, which is also a big expense."
But I never thought that my mother would answer her like this:
"We raise you so big, the bride price must not be less, the more at this time, the more we can verify whether a man loves you, if he can't even afford this little money, we don't trust you to marry, not to mention that we treat you well from childhood, this money must be returned, you may not be able to elbow out, towards the man." 」
So, finally the mother opened her mouth to ask Xu Cong for a dowry of 100,000 yuan, this is Xu Congdong cobbled together to borrow relatives, only to take it, when it came to the dowry, the mother gave a car key that had been peeled up to Lin Min, Lin Min did not react at all, the mother said: "You now have a marriage house, I think I have no intention of buying a car for the time being, this car at home, you have also driven, just give it to you as a dowry!" ”
Lin Min saw it, immediately angry, a strong said unfair: "Parents, I am not the three houses, the demolition money is so much, you still want so many bride price, the dowry is only a second-hand car is not a bit excessive?" ”
Then, her mother told her, "Is it easy for us to raise you so big?" Doesn't it cost you money to raise you? When we were miserable, we all spent all our money, and now we are blessed, and you are married, but you do not have that fate. As for this car, you go to work and take the bus, which is also a means of transportation, you say you, why are you still disgusted? ”
Hearing his mother-in-law say this, Xu Cong didn't know what to say, he took Lin Min's hand, at this moment, he regretted that he didn't marry Lin Min home earlier, let her stay in such a family for one more second, he felt unbearable, he didn't dare to imagine how much Lin Min had suffered before.
Lin Min was silent for a long time and said: "Parents, since this is the case, the three houses are enough for you to retire, then I don't often come back after I marry Xu Cong, then you forgive your daughter for not filial piety, you can't come back to visit from time to time, and I think it is enough for you to have a brother and these demolition funds in the future, as for me, since you are willing to manage my face in my in-laws' family, then I don't want to care about you." ”
After saying that, Lin Min pulled Xu Cong away.
Uncle Moe said, "Some mothers must receive dowry money before they get married." Not because of greed for money and stubbornness, but because she wants her in-laws to value your arrival. Most people will cherish what they have given, and they will squander what they have gained empty-handed. It's not a routine, it's human nature. ”
When some parents consider the bride price, the first thing that comes to mind is the child, is the child not bitter in the future, sad and not sad, but some parents, even if the son is preferred, there is a loss of proportion in the bride price, it is really excessive.
I also have a friend whose parents are particularly patriarchal, and the money that his parents spend on their brother, no matter how big they are, they are not distressed, but as long as they spend it on her, they will inevitably be nagged.
Later, because his brother made the girl pregnant and needed the dowry money, he directly used the dowry money of his sister to marry the woman, and the friend was married with zero dowry. Not only that, after the parents got sick, they didn't want to tell their sons, and they always let their friends help, and finally the friends couldn't stand it and broke off relations with their parents.
It really hurts that the parents have a bowl of water, and the sad thing is that when the family liquidates the property, the daughter is spilled water, how can not be a part, but when she is old and needs to be taken care of, the daughter has become what she should have.
Fair point to say that the parents' house, no matter how to divide, is the freedom of the parents, and the daughter needs to marry out, a little fairer thoughtful parents will think of the daughter's future situation, even if they will not directly give the daughter the house, will also give the daughter more dowry money as a guarantee, only a bowl of uneven parents will be so confused, do this, hurt the love with the daughter.
No matter how to say that the daughter is a piece of meat that fell from her body, if she meets an unfilial son in the future, she will finally think of her daughter.
Therefore, I advise parents, don't be confused, it is best to be able to level the bowl of water, do not be blinded by those feudal and stubborn thoughts, do things that make the daughter chill, if you are not even, hurt the daughter's feelings, when the time comes, it is difficult to harvest the water, you want to win back the heart of the daughter, most of it is impossible.
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