1, the uncle bought a new razor, the cousin saw it and asked the uncle: What is this for? The uncle mysteriously pointed at his chin and said: What is it for? You won't see it tomorrow.

1, the uncle bought a new razor, the cousin saw it and asked the uncle: What is this for? The uncle mysteriously pointed at his chin and said: What is it for? You won't see it tomorrow. The cousin was stunned! Is the uncle going to... The cousin suddenly hugged his uncle's leg and cried: Don't you think about it, I will never tell my mother about your private money in the future... uncle:.......

2, my wife took me back to the door, I bought a few bottles of Maotai and spent me 500 to send her father. After dinner in the evening, her father quietly said to me, "Son-in-law, I want to teach you the skill of hiding money from your private room." I was stunned: "Then aren't you against your daughter?" Her father said, "You don't understand, I'm leaving a way back for myself." I looked at him doubtfully, and her father smiled: "After teaching you, I will borrow money from you later." "I...

3, my wife bought a new dress to go home, I asked her: Did you buy new clothes? How much? Wife: 500 pieces! Me: Have you ever thought about me? The wife's face changed: What do you say? I was stunned for a moment and said: I have a salary of ten thousand yuan a month, you buy such cheap clothes? Have you thought about it for me? Next time I buy clothes, I must buy expensive ones, at least 1000 yuan to be worthy of me! Wife: Okay!

4, the uncle's feet are broken, the ligaments are torn, the plaster is played, and the crutch is borrowed, I did not expect that he would be very slippery when he first held the crutches. I made a joke: "Practiced? The old uncle was stunned, and then spit fiercely: "When I was seven or eight years old and naughty, I saw that the lame man was on crutches and funny, so he made a pair with a tree branch and secretly practiced for half a month." It seems that this trick is really a trick! ”:

5, at that time, the first time to take my wife home to see her parents, was eating, she went to the balcony to see a pot of flowers. My dad put down the dishes and walked around and introduced, "This is Jasmine." My wife blushed and lowered her head, and my dad walked back in shock and whispered to my mom, "She's going to the balcony to fart." ”

6, the daughter in the living room to watch TV, the male protagonist on one knee to propose to the female protagonist. The daughter was very envious, and curiously asked the father next to her: "Dad, did you kneel down when you proposed to your mother?" Dad was stunned, smiled and said, "No." The daughter asked incomprehensibly, "Why?" Dad was silent for a while, smiled bitterly, and said, "Your mother said that there will be more opportunities to kneel in the future, and this time it will be exempted." ”

7, friends want to confess but do not have the courage, let me help him, he bought a girl's favorite big teddy bear, 5 meters high. We were waiting for the girl at the entrance of the university, when the girl came, we were both stunned, the girl also had a man next to her, also holding a teddy bear that was nearly one person tall, they both talked and laughed, when they saw us, the girl was stunned, and then covered her face and ran, my friend shoved the bear into my arms and went to chase the girl, I couldn't run with the bear, the crowd around was like water, just like this, I held a large teddy bear like a fool and another man holding a large teddy bear stood face to face.

8, some time ago I thought about hurrying home and changing clothes for the season. Call your mother today and say: Mom, your favorite son is going back soon, and he is not happy. The mother on the phone was first stunned, and then sighed and said: You don't come back, I want something to send you over, if you come back, I will have to give you a road fee, and I have to wait for you to eat and drink. I......

9, Valentine's Day no one asked me out to play, so bored at home, with my dog barking, I called one it barked, I called two it barked twice! Then I screamed four times straight away! The dog was visibly stunned, and then it barked three times! And when he looked at me, I clearly felt a look of contempt in the dog's eyes...

10, swipe your credit card to buy a Xiaomi Mi 10 Extreme Edition, and play games at night. My wife came in after taking a shower, pretended to be shy and asked me: "Brother, see if I am fat again?" I was stunned for a moment, and said very appropriately seriously: "Where are you fat?" Look at how skinny you are! The wife listened, and a smile instantly broke out on her face, and she asked a little embarrassedly: "Really?" I said calmly, "It's just that the skin is a little thick!" ”

11, in the evening, the chairman invited customers to sing in KTV, called a few princesses who accompanied the singing, and did not expect that one of them was his ex-wife. The ex-wife also recognized the chairman, and the scene was a little awkward! The chairman was stunned and said: "Forget it, you still go back, change someone else!" The ex-wife blushed and said: "It's okay, I'm used to it..."The chairman: "Pull down you, who doesn't know that you have been singing since you were a child." ”

12. On the way to work at night, I saw two people tearing and cursing at each other. I quickly ran over and pulled the two of them apart: Let go! Stop it! Don't fight! The brothers on both sides who were in a strong position were stunned at the sight. I patted the backs of the two brothers who were fighting, and said to him in a serious tone: Don't worry about fighting, I have a few friends who are watching the hilarity and have not yet come!

13, I work in Tomson Yipin, at night, I drive Maiteng to the vegetable market to buy a big fish. When I got home, I got a call from a customer and asked my wife to kill the fish. The wife and brother killed the fish once, and they were stunned for half a day and did not dare to do it. After a while, when I looked again, I saw my wife holding the fish in both hands and pressing the fish to the bottom of the water. Me: What are you doing here? Wife: I drowned it first.

14 I was kidnapped yesterday by a murderer whose knife was on my neck, and at the moment I slipped down, I shouted, "Don't kill me, my king has not yet been diamondged." The murderer was stunned, put down the knife, silently picked up the mobile phone, and said coldly: "Hurry, I will take you to the king." ”

15, once accompanied a friend to the driving school, saw a coach bullying a new student, holding 10 yuan in his hand: "Come, the commissary at the door to help me buy a bag of Chinese"! I ran over: "Coach he's new, he doesn't understand things, I'll help you buy it!" So I took the 10 bucks and went home!