1, I drove the BMW x5 home, the home is slightly hidden, my wife is taking a bath in the bathroom. At this time, the wife held out a head and said: "Husband, you are back, there is no shower gel, you rush."

1, I drove the BMW x5 home, the home is slightly hidden, my wife is taking a bath in the bathroom. At this time, the wife held out a head and said: "Husband, you are back, there is no shower gel, you hurry downstairs to help me buy it, cold me." "Before I took off my shoes, I ran downstairs to a good and many supermarkets, bought a bottle of 58 yuan Shufujia, and took a package of 28 yuan soft Chinese by the way." Cashier: "A total of 86 yuan." Me: "You do the math again." Cashier: "It's 86, that's right." Me: "If you do the math carefully, it's not good to wait until you're wrong." Cashier: "Sir, really 86." "Then I gave the cash register 100 and she found me 86!

2, I was in the 211 engineering school, my roommate fell in love with a girl, very beautiful. A few of our roommates filled the girls' dorm room downstairs with candles and just lit them. The girl went downstairs to get the takeaway, saw and scolded us: You boys come every day to set candles, shout upstairs, why don't you order a serious thing? The roommate said softly: Since you have gone downstairs, I will not shout downstairs, I... I like you! The girl's tears were gushing, her hands were shaking, the takeaway was snapping and spreading on the ground, and I remember it was lean fried rice noodles.

3, like the male waiter downstairs restaurant, but dad thinks he is too fat and I am not worthy... So I ordered the meal many times a day, and specially named him to send it! In this way, he climbed the eighth floor three or four times a day, each time. Half a year later... Finally I became fat too!

4, when the blind date, the woman asked if there is a house, Xiao Li said: the family is very poor on the results of several factories and mines... The woman said: There is no building, we two are not suitable! My mom said the building was better. Xiao Li: I have a factory mine! Buildings can be bought with money, why do you have to build buildings! Is the factory mine bad? F: I listen to my mother, my mother does not lie to me. Xiao Li...

5. At night, my sister and brother-in-law finished shopping and went home. In the corridor, the voice-activated light was not on, and it was pitch black. The brother-in-law was lucky with Dantian, and the words came out loud: Where is the light! Brushing a little, the voice-activated lights in the corridor were all on, and the brother-in-law instantly felt that he was very cattle, but the sister felt that he might be married to a fool.

6, once my wife found out that I hid private money was very angry, it was not easy to coax her well, no need to kneel on the washboard. Suddenly the daughter said: Mom, the next time Daddy provokes you to be angry, you will let her go to the corridor to stand, in the summer you must put on the cotton clothes and go again, in the winter you must TUO cotton clothes again. My wife's eyes lit up when she heard it, and I really thought my daughter wasn't looking at me!

7, a rich man took a fancy to a beautiful flight attendant and decided to propose to the flight attendant. He bought 999 roses, then bought a diamond ring and drove a sports car to the community where the flight attendants were. The flight attendant's family lived on the eighteenth floor, and it just so happened that the elevator broke that day, and the rich man had to climb the stairs. Finally tired and sweaty, it was the flight attendant's mother who opened the door after knocking on the door. At this time, the rich man's tired legs were weak, and his legs did not listen to the call and knelt in front of her mother! The flight attendant's mother was overjoyed, immediately took the rose, and then showed a shy expression!

8, a friend in the circle of friends to say: in the new year, I want to get rid of the bad habit of procrastination! Someone below commented: You said that this is a bit late, it should be sent on the first day of the new year. Landlord replied: Isn't this a procrastination attack! In a bad mood, I drove out to play, and saw a big uncle setting up a stall and selling antiques. As soon as you get close to him, you will catch you talking about the history of antiques, which is very funny, and since then I have become his listener every night, just don't buy anything!

9, a little brother sent me a whole winter vacation courier, every time I was plain face did not wash my hair and put on a big cotton jacket to pick up the pieces. Once I put on my makeup and got dressed and ready to go out, just when the brother said that the courier was downstairs, I went to pick up a piece. When I saw the little brother say that he wanted to take the courier, I didn't expect him to look at me with contempt and drive away. A minute later I got a text message from him: "Come on down! Someone pretending to be your recipient is good I recognize you...

10, once taking the elevator, a bear child and his mother to the 8th floor, we are all from the first floor. Entering the elevator, the bear child quickly pressed the 5th, 6th, 7th, 8th, 9th, 10th, 11th floor, and the mother looked at him: "Why press it randomly?" The bear child had an expression that could not be compared with outsiders, and the mother smiled and did not speak. Then the elevator reached the 5th floor, and the mother pushed the bear child out with lightning speed and said, "You press it and you get off here." He also quickly pressed the close button.

11, there is a brother grows a thief ugly, but the family is very rich, the brothers are very low-key, this day do not know who to hear who said to raise a dog can find a girlfriend, so I bought a dog, every day there is nothing to walk downstairs in the community. A few days later, he really found a girlfriend, and after the flash marriage, the ugly brother asked his wife: Why did you like me at that time? His wife replied: I have worked in a pet store before, and I can see at a glance that your dog is worth more than a million!

12. In the dark and windy night of the moon, I was suddenly awakened by a burst of anger on the 9th floor of my downstairs. He said, "Upstairs, do you have any public morality?" Do you know that my daughter-in-law will take the college entrance examination tomorrow? At this time, the senior girl on the 8th floor pulled open the window and loudly defended: "You... Game, game inside the daughter-in-law! Later, the father-in-law outside the game went upstairs to find the son-in-law in the game to practice martial arts.

13, in the company has been an obscure small staff, suddenly received a notice, I was promoted, with a full of confusion and questions, full of worry after many inquiries to learn, the original our company downstairs opened a breakfast restaurant that the old couple, turned out to be our boss's parents, I can be promoted because I ate breakfast for three consecutive years, never said a bad word about the company and the boss...

14, in the forest of flowers drinking tea back, the community pavilion has a figure, wearing a birthday coat and a birthday hat, waving at me: Xiao Li came to chat... My heart immediately accelerated 100%, I ran up to the fifth floor in one breath, saw uncle Zhang's door open, and rushed in... I couldn't speak for a few minutes, Aunt Zhang asked me what was wrong, and I was embarrassed to say that I had seen the ghost, so I had to say that it was okay for me to look for Uncle Zhang, you look for me? I told you to chat you all ran away and still looking for me? You old thing, you dressed so scarily at night, Aunt Zhang picked up the mop and hit...