Whether the boyfriend loves me or plays

Visitor's self-description: I am 38 this year, he is 37 this year, we are all divorced, he divorced because he has no children, his parents think that his wife can not have children, forced him to divorce. I divorced with a daughter. We have known each other for 4 years, it is a long-distance relationship, 4 years of feelings I can not let go of him. I came to see his sister and his classmates on New Year's Day last year, and he wanted to help us persuade his parents to agree with us, but his parents couldn't communicate with his mother because of our different nationalities, plus I had children, they didn't accept me, and my boyfriend wanted to break up. We have been unable to put it down, we have been meeting once a month like this, and now that we find out that we are 1 month pregnant, he does not dare to ask for it, nor does he want to, I want to know if he loves me or just play?

Psychologist Liu Aimin explains:

Hello, I think you have given me a very difficult question, if you want me to help you determine whether he loves you or not, I am afraid I will not be able to answer. There is no definite standard for what degree of love and what degree of non-love, and the best way for one person to be may be completely different from another. Whether the other person loves you or not, your feelings may be far more effective than the assumptions I have made through your short messages.

Maybe the other question you're trying to ask me is whether you're going to stick with the relationship. It's hard for you to let go of the relationship, especially now that you're pregnant. But you are currently separated, you can only see each other once a month, and your family is obstructing your marriage, and these situations seem to make you feel exhausted. When you find out you're pregnant, your feelings are mixed. And when he shows an attitude of not daring to ask for it or not wanting it, you may feel very disappointed. So, maybe you want to know whether the other party loves you or not, is to consider the next step through this result to consider how to decide next, if the other party is in love with you, may be sad, you will still stick to this relationship, if the other party does not love, you may consider ending the relationship.

I think you are all very mature people who will take into account some of the realities that affect feelings. Perhaps the distance can be easily overcome, but the opposition of the family is ultimately a very important influence. Different ethnic groups, customs and habits are also very different, if you can't communicate with his mother, it may be a big obstacle for you. For him, it is also necessary to consider the feelings of his family. This may be the reality of the present day, and it may be difficult to distinguish whether it is love or not from his attitude alone, after all, it is not for everyone that love can overcome all the factors of reality. In such a situation, in fact, it is you who really determines the future direction of this emotion.

If you feel that the relationship is worth holding on to, you can choose to keep trying. If you think that his bowing to reality and family is not a sign of not loving you enough, you can also choose to leave the relationship voluntarily. Whether the other party loves or does not love, you and I can not guarantee that we can really guess it, so instead of pinning the future on the attitude of others, it is better to take the initiative and take our own choices in our own hands.