Wen \ Pillow Book Listen to Snow, Jiang Zuo Mei Niang
A reader backstage asked me:
"I think I'm good enough, but I still don't have confidence in love, can you tell me what kind of woman can make a man irresistible and unforgettable?" 」
This question has been asked by countless women in the past, and there will be countless women who will ask it again in the future.
In the Japanese drama "Tokyo Women's Picture Book", he replied:
"A woman who has nothing. There are no dreams of their own, no ideals, just women who innocently support his dreams. ”
Yishu replied in "City Story":
"Usually it is the indifferent woman who attracts a man, but the man marries the woman who admires him."
Writer Zhou Guoping replied:
"It is best to be both independent and dependent, independent in personality, emotionally dependent, such a person is lovely, and living together is both easy and interesting."
And I got the best answer from Picasso's love history.
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As we all know, the great painter Picasso has changed his painting style several times in his life, and has experienced the blue period, the rose period, the classicist period, the surrealist period, and the abstraction period, but in his private life, he has always been in the "peach period". He has had two wives, five long-term lovers, and countless dew lovers. These women gave him creative inspiration and emotional nourishment, but he rarely took them seriously:
"In my heart, no one will occupy a really important position, to me, women are like dust particles floating in the sun, just a wave of the broom, they have to fly out of the door." 」
In a word, the call comes and goes, does he get it? Got it.
His first love was Fernand, and the two met in 1904. At that time, Picasso had no money, no fame, had just experienced the blow of the death of his best friend, and was in the trough of his life.
Born into poverty, Fernand married early, but because he could not bear her husband's domestic violence after marriage, she escaped, and then with her natural beauty, she soon became a famous model in Parisian social circles.
After the two fell in love, they lived in a laundry boat apartment where poor acid artists gathered, and Fernand's love healed Picasso's wounds, and his style of work changed from the gloomy and oppressive blue period to the rose period. Gradually, it became famous in the painting world.
After living together for 4 years, Picasso gradually gained an income, and he took Fernand out of the dirty laundry boat apartment. What people did not expect was that the material life improved, but the feelings of the two people went wrong.
Tired of Fernand, Picasso fell in love with her girlfriend Eva, whose husband was also a painter and a friend of Picasso's. Therefore, Picasso did not dare to openly paint Eva into the painting, and could only vaguely engrave the words "I love Eva" in the still life sketch to show his heart.
Eva was gentle and frugal, dedicating all herself to Picasso, and in her contrast, Fernand appeared vulgar and vain, men are animals that like the new and hate the old, and she is gradually hated by Picasso.
So, one day, Picasso eloped with Eva.
Fernand had already sensed that Picasso had changed his mind, and she was not a woman hanging from a tree, so she also ran away with an Italian painter.
Picasso and Eva did not have a good time after eloping, Eva fell seriously ill, and the money they brought was quickly spent, and they had to rely on the help of friends to survive. Even so, Picasso was not at ease, taking care of the sick Eva while cheating on a Polish model.
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In 1915, Eva died of illness at the age of 34. Shortly after Eva's death, Picasso married, and his wife was named Olga.
She came from a noble and elegant background, and was the principal dancer of the Russian Ballet, which swept Europe. Picasso fell in love with her at first sight, and in order to please her, he did choreography for the dance troupe, designed costumes and posters, and gave up his avant-garde style and changed it to the classical style that Olga liked.
Olga gave up her position as principal dancer and married Picasso. Soon, Olga became pregnant, the original ballet dancer's graceful figure became bloated, and Picasso betrayed her many times and was super indifferent to her, which made her temper become more and more grumpy.
In 1935, Picasso's mistress Marie became pregnant, and Olga couldn't bear it, angrily moved out of Paris with her child and filed for divorce from Picasso. Picasso here, on the other hand, had long been tired of Olga and had no tenderness for the son she had, but he refused to divorce him for the simple reason that he did not want to share the property equally with Olga. For the sake of property, he and Olga maintained a marriage relationship in name only until he died at the age of 74.
As a third party in his marriage to Olga, Mary Teresa Walter did not have a good life.
When she met Picasso, Picasso was 46 years old and had already achieved fame, and she was 17 years old, a naïve fool, who dedicated the first night to Picasso on her 18th birthday, and thus began her 8-year underground mistress life.
At first, Picasso was fascinated by Mary's youth and vitality, and he used Mary as a model to create works such as "Dream", "Sleeping Girl", "Blonde", etc., and let her move to the opposite side of the house where he and Olga lived, even when he went on vacation with his family.
But unfortunately, Mary is pregnant, in the stories of ordinary people, the conception of life is a great joy, in Picasso's world, the pregnancy of a woman is a great tragedy, and sure enough, Picasso cheated again.
After Olga filed for divorce, he feared that he would be caught and lose the divorce case, so he asked Mary to move elsewhere and ask mary to write to him.
Soon after, Mary gave birth to a daughter named Marina, while Picasso moved out of Mary's residence to live with Dora Marl, whom she had hooked up with when she was pregnant, and only financially supported Mary and her daughter.
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Dora Mar met Picasso in a café in Paris in 1936, when Picasso was chatting with a friend and turned to see Dora.
She had black hair and white skin, bright teeth, beautiful like the spring sky, and most specially, she was holding a black silk glove embroidered with roses in her hand, and she was holding a knife and poking at the middle of her fingers, the blood was stained with the gloves, but she didn't seem to feel pain.
So Picasso came to his senses and launched an offensive against Dora, and after the two were together, Dora's gloves were locked in a drawer by him and collected as some kind of souvenir.
Dora is a well-known photographer in the avant-garde art scene in Paris, she is talented, radical, fluent in Spanish, and has a unique view of art.
She brought Picasso not only emotional and physical pleasure, but also creative inspiration and career help. She modeled for Picasso, revised paintings for Picasso, gave advice, and recorded Picasso's creative process with a video camera. Her adept at using multiple exposures and her approach to photographing the same object from different angles had a profound impact on Picasso's painting style.
In contrast to her, the quiet, passive Mary, who knows nothing about art, seems so "outdated." However, Picasso's passion came and went quickly, and after being with Dora, he revealed his worst side.
He often abused Dora, beating her to the point of blurring her flesh and blood, lying unconscious on the floor, and then painting her miserable situation and obtaining creative materials from her pain and tears. He deliberately provoked a fight between Dora and Mary, causing them to tear and beat each other, and he stood by and laughed triumphantly, and recorded it with a paintbrush.
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In the war between women and women, it is always the man who wins.
Dora and Marie here are fighting for favors, while Picasso over there has cheated on 22-year-old Françoise Giro.
Born into a family of artists in Paris, Françoise came from a well-to-do family, with a very enlightened and wise father who raised her as a boy from an early age and told her:
"In this world, if women want to live with dignity, they must love with dignity, and they must bravely fight against men and fight for their own place."
Françoise was very competitive, and at the age of 17 he received a bachelor's degree in philosophy from the University of Paris, and at the age of 18 he received a bachelor's degree in English literature from the University of Cambridge. When she met Picasso, he was 62 years old, and Picasso gave his best and finally caught up with her after two years of hard pursuit.
After the two lived together, Françoise gave birth to a son and a daughter for Picasso, who has always been indifferent to his children, and Picasso rarely loved these two children very much, often taking Françoise and the children on tours.
However, Françoise was not satisfied with Picasso, who never cared about family affairs, controlled her social and work, and even when her grandmother was ill, Picasso did not allow her to return home to visit.
What was even more unacceptable to her was that Picasso regarded himself as a god and teased the women around him at will. He deliberately invites the mentally unstable Dora out to dinner and shows her affection in front of Dora:
"You see, Françoise is so nice, I'm so lucky!"
Seeing him torturing Dora and leaving Mary hopelessly waiting, Françoise hurt her and began to consider leaving Picasso. In 1951, Françoise discovered that Picasso had hooked up with a 23-year-old young girl, and she decisively left him with her two children. Picasso was mad, and he threatened that Françoise would leave him and go to the desert.
However, Françoise knew in her heart that only by leaving this powerful monster could she not be devoured, so no matter how much he threatened, cajoled, and seduced, she never looked back.
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Before Françoise, Picasso had only abandoned women, never abandoned by women. After Françoise, he was devastated by two consecutive relationships that ended without success.
In 1955, Olga died of cancer. Picasso got the news and immediately called Mary and said:
"My wife is finally dead, and we finally have a chance to be together."
Mary wept with joy, she thought she had waited for so many years, and finally kept the clouds open to see the moon.
Picasso turned around and married Jacqueline Locke. Jacqueline, 35, is a salesman in a ceramics factory, divorced, with a daughter. She was Picasso's last wife and his most fervent and loyal admirer.
She worshipped Picasso as a "god", took care of his diet and living, supervised his medication, regulated his life, became his model, and took care of his studio.
At the same time, her possessiveness towardSO Picasso has also reached a morbid degree.
After marriage, she did not allow him to go out, did not allow him to meet with friends, children, mistresses, and even her own daughter had to see Picasso with her consent.
Picasso was very dissatisfied with this, but he was too old to be separated from Jacqueline's care, so he had to passively end his peach blossom luck.
Picasso died in 1973 at the age of 92.
Jacqueline oversaw his funeral, not allowing his children, grandchildren and mistresses to attend, and later engaged in a protracted battle for the inheritance with his children and grandchildren. Thirteen years after Picasso's death, Jacqueline suddenly committed suicide because she felt "no longer able to do anything for Picasso."
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Writer Zhou Guoping said:
"If I were a woman, I would be happy to make friends with the artist, listen to him talk about the work, grumble, and talk crazy. But I will never marry him. ”
Looking back at the women of Picasso, they all ended up with Picasso.
Fernand accompanied Picasso through the most difficult days, but Picasso refused to mention her after he became famous. To earn a living, Fernand wrote a memoir, Picasso and His Friends, but Picasso threatened to buy her off and forbade her to publish the book. In his later years, Fernand was impoverished and struggled to make ends meet by teaching French to foreigners.
Olga gave up her career for Picasso and accompanied him to the top, but he continued to cheat and refused to divorce, leaving her living in jealousy and anger for half her life, suffering. After she died of cancer, Picasso hated her for fighting with herself for divorce and property, and did not even attend her funeral.
Her son, Paul, was not welcomed by Picasso from an early age, and in order to meet his father, he often waited at his door for four or five hours. As an adult, Paul worked as a driver for Picasso for a lifetime with a meagre salary, but he did not get a hug from him. Paul's son Parrido committed suicide after Jacqueline refused to attend his grandfather's funeral.
Mary, on the other hand, was even more miserable than Xia Yuhe on the shore of Daming Lake, and she was obedient to Picasso, including his sexual abuse requests, but she waited for a lifetime, looked forward to it for a lifetime, but never waited for the desired result.
Because of the lack of paternal love, her daughter Marina underwent 14 years of psychotherapy. Four years after Picasso's death, Mary committed suicide at the age of 68 due to excessive thoughts.
Dora could have become a world-famous artist, but she gave up herself for love and was tortured to the point of mental breakdown. After leaving Picasso, Dora struggled to get rid of his influence, spent a long time to heal herself, and later, she was ready to marry the writer James, who was 15 years younger, but Picasso refused to let go of her mental control, repeatedly harassed her, insulted her, and in the end, she failed to get married, and in the face of all thoughts, she converted to God.
Only Françoise was the one who stood out, and after leaving Picasso, she bloomed with amazing brilliance. Eleven years later, she accepted an offer from a critic to write her memoir, Life with Picasso.
As with Fernand, Picasso first called a lawyer to scare her, then tried to bribe her with money, saw her refuse to comply, angrily sued the publisher, and lost, and finally he issued the ultimate threat to Françoise - refusing to see her two children again for life, revoking their mother's inheritance rights, and banning her in the art world.
However, Françoise not only published his memoirs but also achieved great success, and Picasso finally said to Françoise:
"You win, okay, I salute you."
Yes, she did deserve to be respected, and she was remembered by Picasso for a lifetime, giving him unforgettable pain. She used the money she earned to buy a house, raise children, and work hard at the same time, and later, she published 12 books, held more than 50 solo exhibitions, served as the director of the art department at the University of Southern California, and was awarded the highest french art award, the National Medal of Honor, by the French president.
She did not delay herself in love, and she later had a brief marriage with the French painter Luke Simon, and finally married Jonas Solk, a pioneer in the study of polio vaccines, and the two were very affectionate and lived together for 25 years until Sooke's death. In the end, Françoise lived to the age of 97.
Thinking of the two people together, Picasso once asked her:
"Why do you always work against me?"
She replied:
"Because we have a dialogue between us, not your one-man show. Everybody says 'yes' to you as if it were around a king, and I'm going to say 'no' to you. ”
Reading this, I think the clever you have understood the answer I have to say. In the relationship between the sexes, don't always think about what men like, what kind of women can't resist and remember, but should maintain spiritual independence, learn to say no at any time, and think about what kind of woman you want to be.
Hermann Hesse says in Demian:
"For everyone, there is only one real duty: to find oneself and then to hold on to one's life in one's heart, wholeheartedly, without stopping. All other paths are incomplete, a way of escaping, a cowardly return to popular ideals, a drift, a fear of the heart. ”
So, women, I hope that we all live to be Françoise, to be a talented, means, and backbone woman. To be self-sustaining in love, to have the courage to say no, and to decide to leave.
Use independence to sew armor for yourself, put on the battlefield, and then tell yourself that this life is only for yourself, then you are destined to become a woman he will never forget, let him unforgettable, remember, although you do not care.
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I am Mei Niang, your most intimate emotional counselor, if you have emotional confusion, please send me a private message, Mei Niang will take you out of the confusion.