1, the sister-in-law works in a KTV, the number of guests contacted every day is very large, almost every day can earn 10,000, recently always feel nauseous and vomiting, poor appetite. Sister-in-law harm

1, the sister-in-law works in a KTV, the number of guests contacted every day is very large, almost every day can earn 10,000, recently always feel nauseous and vomiting, poor appetite. The sister-in-law was afraid that she was pregnant, so she went to the hospital for examination. After the report came out, the doctor asked, "How old are you?" Sister-in-law: "23! Doctor: "Are you married?" Sister-in-law: "No! Doctor: "Do you have a boyfriend?" Sister-in-law: "No! If you have anything to say, just say it, I can hold it! Doctor: "Then I'll just say, will we have a meal together in the evening?" ”?

2, today take the bus to work, a man bragged to her girlfriend how powerful he is, how big his ability is, there is nothing in the world that he can't do, the more he says, the more excited he is, dancing with his hands and spitting stars flying. An old lady looked at him with focused eyes, and the man said to his girlfriend: Look, the old lady believes what I say! The old lady said with tears in her eyes: "Boy, I believe!" Because my mentally ill son said the same thing.

3, want to buy a car to run Didi and rent, yesterday looked at a car, preferential price of 89997 yuan. When I paid, I negotiated with the sales: "I add 3 more yuan, make up enough 90,000 yuan, and issue me a formal invoice, how about it?" The sales were a little confused: "Brother, what do you mean?" Me: "Oh, yes, Didi requires that the price of the car must be no less than 90,000, you are still two pieces away .??

4, in the evening I want to go out to eat a box lunch, ask my dad how to eat, he said there is leftover noodles, just eat it. I felt guilty at the time, and after eating, I quickly went home early. As soon as I entered the door, I smelled of lamb, and found that the pot had not yet come and collected, although the meat was gone, but there was a thick layer of oil. Then, there's the small half-plate of uneaten fat cows hidden!

5. I have a crush on the waitress of the Starbucks café, and I heard some time ago that her mother was seriously ill and needed 800,000 yuan for surgery. In order to get this money, the sister said: Whoever is willing to pay this money, I will marry whom! I immediately gave her the money, and we got married. After marriage, my wife gave birth to a baby girl, and we lived a happy life. Last night my girlfriend slept with us, and I slept with my girlfriend first, and my wife was on the Internet. So I heard the following dream words: Girl: Daddy, I want to eat good things. Me: I want to eat it myself and take it! Then, it's the sound of the daughter's mouth...

6. The female manager was urged to marry by her father and asked me to pretend to be her boyfriend to have a meal at her house, and I agreed. After eating at her house, her mother called me to the study and took out 3 million in cash. I immediately said: Auntie, you can rest assured that I feel that I am clean and clean of disappearance! Don't tell your girlfriend, she's sad. Her mother said: You misunderstood, this is the gift money for my daughter's engagement, and the dowry of 20 million and 10 buildings, and I will give it to you on the wedding day! You guys are doing well! Immediately after saying that I was asked to put the money away, I looked at the 3 million cash, and the 48-year-old female manager, a little confused.

7. Working in an electronics factory, the monthly salary is only 3,000 yuan. The management of the factory is very strict, requiring everyone to wear overalls. Because of the low salary, I had to go to the factory restaurant every day to eat cheap meals. Today I forgot to wear my overalls, and my aunt gave me a large bowl full of dishes, and the meat inside was twice as large as usual. I told the head of the class about this, and the head of the class said, "You are not wearing work clothes, and your aunt has taken you as the leader!" ”

8, go to work on the subway, see a mother and daughter, the little girl is very cute, the eyes are shining. Can't help but tease her, I pointed to the small steamed bun in her hand and asked: Can I give it to my brother? The little girl just took one out and stuffed it in her mouth, and then took it from her mouth to me to eat. I saw the wet saliva on it, and I cried when I didn't eat it. Her mother glanced back at me.

9. On this day, the invisible rich second generation riding a bicycle went to his girlfriend's house to play. Before leaving, it suddenly began to pour down, and his girlfriend advised him to stay overnight and went to prepare the futon. When his girlfriend was ready to walk out of the bedroom, Fu Er Dai was gone. After more than an hour, fuerdai, whose whole body was drenched like a chicken in soup, returned. The girlfriend asked in surprise, "Where have you been?" Fu Er Dai replied breathlessly, "I went home to get my pajamas." ”

10. The brother-in-law bought a house in Tomson Yipin, and last night the sales female manager came to the brother-in-law's rental house to drink. As a result, the female manager drank too much directly, and the brother-in-law could not help her alone, so she had to let her live in her own home. After the female colleague fell asleep, the brother-in-law thought on the sofa for a long time, and finally the brother-in-law walked back to the room to see the face of the female colleague's angel and the devil-like figure. The brother-in-law gently took away the one-dollar coin next to the pillow and thought to himself: Be careful to sail the Ten Thousand Years Ship, or put it in your pocket to be safe.

11. The father-in-law was cooking in the kitchen, and the little uncle suddenly called the father-in-law: "Dad, I accidentally scratched a car, and he wants me to lose 50,000 yuan." Father-in-law: "What kind of car did you scrape?" Open your mouth for 50,000? Little uncle: "Yeah, so I smashed his car in a fit of rage, and now he wants me to accompany 5 million." Father-in-law: "What?" You contrarian son, even if you are sold, our family can't afford it! You are determined to kill me. Little uncle: "Dad, I just joked with you, I just scored 150 points in the college entrance examination, I'm afraid you can't accept it, is this easier to accept?" ”

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #