1. The husband's pension is more than 10,000 a month, and he has saved for three years. Yesterday, the old man took 3 passbooks to the bank and said: The password 991206, and I will get 3 million funds. cabinet

1. The husband's pension is more than 10,000 a month, and he has saved for three years. Yesterday, the old man took 3 passbooks to the bank and said: The password 991206, and I will get 3 million funds. The teller was very happy and immediately took out 3 million yuan and bought the fund. After 10 minutes, the teller said: Sir, I have bought you 3 million funds. The old man was dumbfounded on the spot: What fund? I'm asking you to withdraw your money and buy a house for my son!

2, last night the rich man and a few friends invited to KTV, shouted a few accompanying princesses. The one sitting next to the rich man was quite beautiful, and in the middle she took the rich man's hand and sang a few songs. At the end, she said to the rich man: "It is not easy to earn some money, don't come to this kind of place in the future, look at the cocoon on your hand, save some money for your sister-in-law and children!!!! At that moment, the rich man's heart was full of mixed feelings, but he couldn't say the words to his mouth, and he choked on his throat like a fish thorn!!!! How much the rich man wanted to tell her, "That's what I rubbed out of playing mahjong!!!! ”

3, back to school, the distance is a little far, to take nearly ten hours by train. Halfway hungry, soaked a bucket of instant noodles, just about to eat, sitting opposite a big brother smiled and asked me: Sister, what do you taste? I was stunned for a moment, smiled and said: Spicy beef flavor. He listened, suddenly smiled and patted his instant noodle bucket, and proudly said: Let's do this, seafood! I listened to my heart for a while, and I said that I felt several grades higher than me... I said helplessly: Big brother, we are all eating instant noodles, can you not pretend!

4. A person who got lost in the mountains, after three days and three nights of wandering, finally saw a wisp of cooking smoke. Excited, he ran over and saw a ragged man roasting a rat on the ground to eat. He threw away his backpack and shouted, "Thank goodness, I lost my way for three days and three nights, and finally met someone." The man was also startled, but said discouragedly: "Friend, slow down and be happy, I have been lost for six days and six nights." ”?

5. I have a crush on the waitress of the Starbucks café, and I heard some time ago that her mother was seriously ill and needed 800,000 yuan for surgery. In order to get this money, the sister said: Whoever is willing to pay this money, I will marry whom! I immediately gave her the money, and we got married. After marriage, my wife gave birth to a baby girl, and we lived a happy life. Last night my girlfriend slept with us, and I slept with my girlfriend first, and my wife was on the Internet. So I heard the following dream words: Girl: Daddy, I want to eat good things. Me: If you want to eat it, take it yourself! And then, it's the sound of my daughter's mouth..."

6, this little sister is very fashionable to wear, is our impression of the black long straight beauty. Her upper body is matched with a shirt material, which is a unique design. The sleeves are a puff sleeve treatment, a bandeau treatment is done on the chest, and the lower part belongs to an open skirt shape. The overall collocation looks like the little sister is convex and upturned, and the chest is very plump, which has a charming feeling in the messy collocation. Paired with a black sunglasses, let the little sister carry a mysterious atmosphere, perfectly showing the charm of women.

7, today in the scenic area while playing mobile phone while queuing to go to the toilet, there is a woman behind me patted me on the shoulder and said: Handsome man, this is a women's toilet, why do you come here to queue up? At that time, I was a little embarrassed, and I said in a hurry: I know it is a women's toilet, I help my daughter-in-law queue up! After saying that I continued to line up, slowly, slowly, until I went to the toilet. At that time, my brain shouted: This mother-in-law, so long has not come! Then bowed his head and walked out of the line silently!

8. The sister-in-law scored 688 points in the college entrance examination, and the admission score of Tsinghua University was 687 points. At that time, I could spoil my sister-in-law and feel that my luck was too good! She happily sent a circle of friends: Haha, what luck am I, the admission line is 687 points, I just took the test 688 points! The father-in-law commented in the following seconds: Haha, good coincidence, my daughter also scored 688 points in the college entrance examination! At that time, the sister-in-law was stunned, and replied at the bottom: Dad, do you have any other daughters besides me?

9, my favorites are ham sausage and donuts, girlfriend likes potato chips and pickled pepper chicken feet! So we always have a lot of small snacks in our dormitory! Usually later than me, she got up early in the morning, sat on the edge of the bed sullen, very haggard, I asked her what, the girlfriend was quite aggrieved: "In the middle of the night, the dormitory into the rat, pick me snacks to eat, I am not at ease, net listen to its movements, drove the rats overnight, until it ran to your side ..."?

10. I heard that my sister-in-law with a big waist and a round waist was out of love and was in a bad mood, so I went to the market to buy a chicken and took it to comfort her. The mother-in-law was very happy, cooked herself, and stewed a pot of fragrant chicken soup. During the meal, a chicken leg was placed right on my side, and I was holding the chicken leg between my chopsticks and trying to put it in the bowl. My wife stomped on me under the table, frightening me with a shake of my hand, and the chicken leg fell steadily into my sister-in-law's bowl. The sister-in-law was moved to tears and said, "My brother-in-law is still good to me!" How come I haven't met a man as good as my brother-in-law. ”?

11. When I got home, my friend told me to play a black game. The son was bored and wanted to play with the children, and I agreed when I didn't have time to pay attention. In the middle of the battle, a little friend suddenly knocked on my door and said to me: Uncle, your son is going to hit a father. I scolded my son secretly, gave him some candy, and sent him away. After a while, the son came back with his bleeding arm: Dad, I want Band-Aid, why do you give people candy?

12. The third class of the second year of high school should select three good students and let the students vote by themselves. The class teacher came to the class with the shortlist and began to announce. I didn't expect it to have my name in it. With excitement, I stood on the podium with several other students who had been selected. Just then, the squad leader pushed the door in. He shouted, "Teacher, the list is wrong!!!! A few of them didn't turn in their homework!!!! ”

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