Balzac said:
"The happiness of marriage is not entirely based on eminent status and possessions, but on mutual respect. The essence of this happiness is humble and simple. ”
In fact, in Chinese marriage, the biggest problem between husband and wife is not the lack of love, but the lack of understanding of love. Therefore, it always leads to the love of the other party and becoming do whatever it wants, or letting the love between each other take a kidnapping posture, always using love to bind, bind, and change the other party.
Otherwise, with this love, we hope that the other party will live as they want, forget to respect and accept, and only care about taking and controlling.
You can't demand that your partner be an omnipotent god, and when a couple loses an equal relationship, the balance of marriage is already tilted. This tilt destroys the common interests of two people.
If your partner can't meet your expectations, you should lower, lower, and lower your expectations again, otherwise all actions will only backfire. Especially women, you should respect and love your husband, only he is the most important person in your life, do not put the cart before the horse.
In the family, the six manifestations of the wife show that she does not look down on her husband at all!
1. Make your own decisions about everything.
Completely taking that home as one's own home, and not letting the husband feel that it is also his own home, is equivalent to directly depriving the husband of the initiative, the right to know, the right to decide, the right to economy, and so on.
It proves that she is strong, domineering, selfish, and arrogant, and at the same time proves that she despises her husband and will have an indifferent attitude towards his thoughts and opinions. Fundamentally and directly negates the husband, including his ability. The reason is simple, how can she care about the opinion of someone she despises?
Therefore, what is shown between husband and wife is that there is no quotient, no matter what they encounter, they make their own decisions, and they do not take each other seriously at all.
2. Question the original choice.
At home, she always took a condescending posture, demanding that her husband obey her, thinking that she could marry him as a gift to him in the first place.
As Li Baoli in "Ten Thousand Arrows Through the Heart" said:
"The conditions in my family are not good, the girl who sells vegetables in the vegetable market, but with my looks, there are many people who chase me, and it is his blessing that I chose him as a countryman."
So you have to go against the grain, center on me at every turn, and when you have emotions, you can vent your emotions and regret your decision. In the comparison with others, he will demean his husband for being useless and question his original choice even more.
3. Look down on his relatives.
This is a psychology that people generally have, and as long as they are individuals, they cannot be an exception. Especially when he came into contact with his poor relatives in the countryside, he did not hide the disgust, disgust, and indifference on his face, and he would feel that the price was dropped, even if someone took the initiative to talk to her, the attitude was also unreasonable and unloving.
You must know that he is not respected by her, and how can his relatives be looked up to by her and casually point fingers at the lives of others, as if standing on some kind of commanding height.
Even the attitude towards the in-laws is the same, showing a huge gap in identity, and even full of contempt.
4. Casually get angry with your husband.
Even if there are outsiders present, even in public, if she is not satisfied, she will yell at her husband, including verbal violence and attacks. If the couple has a conflict, she will not think that she is wrong, to reflect on and review her own problems, and to be cold and violent at every turn.
The more soft her husband became, the more she held herself, and she always regarded her forgiveness as a charity to her husband, and did not know how to give her husband a step down.
Of course, even if there are outsiders present, she can't manage her emotions well, she doesn't take her husband seriously, and naturally she can't consider her husband's face and feelings.
5. Habitually pour cold water.
No matter what her husband decides, whatever she makes, she will always be the first to pour cold water on him. There is no support for the husband, only doubt, counting, ridicule, denial, such as a sentence that is often on the lips: "What can you do?" A lifetime of. ”
Even when living as a couple, she will ruthlessly trample on her husband's dignity: "It is useless to think about this matter." ”
It was she who struck her husband's reluctance to forge ahead, and when he made up his mind and plucked up the courage to change the status quo, it was she who poured cold water on him. In short, no matter what her husband does, he will not get her affirmation, and he will never be able to meet her standards.
6. Arrogance and indifference to husbands.
Arrogant, cold eyes are like a sharp knife, expressing two messages to my husband, one is that you are not worthy of me, and the other is that I do not despise talking to you. For example, when her husband took the initiative to talk to her or discuss other things, he always got such a response from her.
At home, it is often a condescending attitude, ignoring you when you are in a good mood and ignoring you when you are in a bad mood. Even more hurtful than her attitude was her emotionless eyes.
Husbands and wives have lost their reciprocal relationship, and it is possible to maintain it by relying on the husband to bow down and please, and basically a deformed husband and wife relationship has been formed.
These acts of looking down on the husband are like soft knives killing people, which will make people unable to vent. Perhaps only by working hard to improve her real social value can she be looked at squarely, otherwise she will only become more and more frightened and become a ball of irrational anger.
In fact, from a certain point of view, such a woman may have a high heart, but she is not smart, because she is unclear and does not know who is important.
No matter how bad the husband is, it is also his own husband, a person who wants to accompany himself through the storm and the old man. No matter how good outsiders are, everyone is also clear in terms of interests.
Looking down on her husband, falling in the eyes of others, will also make people look down on her. In fact, she is not a destroyer of family harmony, destroying the unity between husband and wife from within, and in the long run, she is also suffering herself.
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