1, the first time I slept with my boyfriend, I hid in the bed and did not dare to come out. My boyfriend saw that I was unwilling and embarrassed to force me, so we fell asleep at a long distance

1, the first time I slept with my boyfriend, I hid in the bed and did not dare to come out. My boyfriend saw that I was unwilling and embarrassed to force me, so we fell asleep at a long distance. At night, suddenly the boyfriend said that this life is so short. At that time, I slipped into his arms and asked him shyly: Have you ever fought for anyone? As a result, the boyfriend came to a sentence: my stomach has been frozen for an hour, and I don't cover the quilt anymore, and I guess I really have diarrhea.?

2. Li Jun sat on the sofa at home after dinner and smoked, and suddenly, his son said, "I'm going to smoke." Li Jun said: "Children are too wasteful of money when they smoke. The son said: "I don't waste any money at all, but recycle the exhaust gas, and I will inhale the smoke you spit out." Li Jun's wife continued: "It is not to turn waste into treasure, but secondary pollution." You smoke and pollute your body, and you pollute us. The son said: "It was a cigarette after the meal that bitter me all day." The wife said: "After the meal, a cigarette, the flowers are no longer fresh." ”

3. My cousin has been working in the company for three years and wants to resign, but I heard that I have to deduct a month's salary for resignation. So I bought some bananas and went to the boss's office. The cousin peeled a banana and said to the boss: "Boss, I want to resign, do you see it?" "Boss: "Okay, no problem!" "Cousin:" Is there a month's salary deducted?" Boss: "What's the deduction, no deduction, I'll pay you an extra month's salary!" Me: "Okay, thank you boss." Turning to leave, the boss said, "Don't panic, take your axe from my table!" ”"

4. My girlfriend has just graduated from college, majored in nursing, and works in the People's Hospital. On this day, a patient came and needed to give the patient a skin test. After the injection and waiting for the results of the examination, after a while I came over and pulled him by the arm and stared at him for half a day, and then went out. After a while, the girlfriend came in again with the head nurse, and the two stared at his arm for half a day, still unable to draw conclusions. Just as he was hesitating, the patient suddenly spoke: Beauty, the pimple you see is bitten by a mosquito, and the pimple that is doing the skin test is on this arm!

5. Eating fried chicken in People's Square, suddenly a TV reporter interviewed us. TV reporter: "Beauty, you look at the 20-year-old, why choose this man next to you who is very different from your age?" Me: "There is no why, he has no car and no house is true love!" The TV reporter exclaimed: "Bless you, then where do you live, how do you travel?" My husband replied: "Stay in a five-star VIP suite and travel by private jet!" ”

6. In the first exam of the third year of high school, the Chinese language test was being taken at that time. The night before, I played a game all night, and I was a little confused during the exam, and the word "Hui" suddenly couldn't be written. When I thought about it fruitlessly, I suddenly thought with surprise that the cap of the iced tea bottle I brought should have the words "thank you for patronage". So I pretended to drink water, and then unscrewed the cap, only to see that the cap was printed with four words: "Another bottle"!

7. The school began to ban the Internet, and everyone in the dormitory did not have internet access. Angry, I called 10010, and the customer service asked me: Where is your current address? Me: Baiyun District, Guangzhou. Customer Service: Can you say specific points? Me: Inside my school dormitory. Then customer service doesn't get back to me.

8, the neighbor's uncle is more than 60 years old, his hands and feet are not very useful, and he has raised a cat star and a Wang xingren. The two animals have a very good relationship, often cooperate in crimes, the other day I just entered the door and saw such a scene... The chicken leg that Uncle bought, picked it up and just wanted to eat it, the cat star person swooped on the table and slapped the chicken leg away, and Wang Xingren grabbed it and threw his legs and ran. The two beasts ran to the corner of the wall to share the booty, leaving the uncle with a black line on his face.?

9, this day the millionaire and the school flower wife chat together. The millionaire lit a cigarette and said, "Successful people like me, can you cite a flaw?" The wife said lightly, "No! The millionaire laughed and said, "It's okay, just give one!" The wife gave a blank look and said, "No! "Asking the same answer several times, the rich man suddenly felt warm in his heart!"

10. In order to change the genes of my offspring, I spent 500,000 yuan to marry a flight attendant home, and I was very caring for her after marriage. Wash my wife's socks today and see that the socks I have just worn for a day have a hole. I quipped: You eat socks? Just wore it like this? My wife said: Last night you went to bed and grinded your teeth, and you put your socks in your mouth! The effect is quite good! But the socks were bitten off by you.

11, because of the quarrel, I did not say a word to my husband for two days, and on the third day, I did not control it, hugged my husband and said: "I'm sorry, I'm not good, don't ignore me okay?" My husband patted me and apologized: "Actually, I have something wrong..." In this way, we reconciled (when I have my birthday tomorrow, I will continue to ignore you)"

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #