1, the brother-in-law's Alipay flower shell owed 120,000 yuan, the daughter-in-law sold my Langyi, to help the brother-in-law pay back the money. After I didn't have a car, I had to take the subway to work every day. Today

1, the brother-in-law's Alipay flower shell owed 120,000 yuan, the daughter-in-law sold my Langyi, to help the brother-in-law pay back the money. After I didn't have a car, I had to take the subway to work every day. When I was riding the subway today, I suddenly felt my mobile phone vibrating, and I answered it with headphones, and it was my wife who called. As soon as I connected my wife, I was asked why I rolled up the lower part of the toothpaste tube, causing her to not find toothpaste for half a day. After I listened, I said lightly: Good squeeze! A girl in front of me looked at me and said grumpily: No matter how you squeeze, you can't step on my feet...

2, I have loved to tell stories to my nephew before going to bed since I was a child, and this day I said: There is a kind of footless bird on this earth, they can only fly non-stop for life, and they can only land once in their lives, that is when it SI. When I heard this story before, I thought this little bird was too pitiful and felt pity! Later, when I finally learned the mystery, my friend said that the name of the original bird was: Angry Birds... Me: "This bird is so angry." ”

3. My girlfriend kicked me last week! At that time, the reason for me was that her parents found her a blind date who was much better than me in every way! So I was depressed at home for a week. Yesterday morning, Aunt Wang introduced me to a girlfriend. This afternoon I went to the blind date to take a look, and at the same time I was stunned by the other party, it was actually my ex-girlfriend!

4. In the evening, the rich second generation dined at KFC, and there were six or seven primary school students around. The children nibbled on the hamburger while writing their homework, and suddenly felt pity in their hearts, and the children were quite pitiful. Mom and Dad are busy at work and can only eat junk food for dinner. Suddenly, one of the boys said to the other, "We're taking the class fee to eat KFC, how do we go back and explain it to the teacher?" ”

5. After graduating from Shandong University, I have been in touch with my classmates in the V-letter group. That night, the class leader organized a class reunion, I took my 5-year-old son to attend, and the class flower that I had been secretly in love for a long time also came. To my shock, Banhua's daughter turned out to be in the sixth grade. During the banquet, Ben Hua and I each left our mobile phone numbers. On the way home, I found that Ban hua's number had been saved one less. So I blamed myself and said: Alas, I always lose everything I do, and I can save one less number. After the son heard it, he comforted: Dad, it doesn't matter, I want her daughter's qq number, I have time to help you ask!

6. Working as a bartender in a bar, he was taken in by a landlady who had been divorced three times. She gave me a Bentley and promoted me to manager in pursuit of me. I was usually very busy at work, and I drove a luxury car back to my hometown during the long holiday. I went to my mother's house and saw my mother pulling wild vegetables from the field! Green tender, I haven't eaten for a long time, look at all drooling, what steaming to eat, stir-fry to eat, cold mix to eat a brain emerged in the mind. So I took away all the big bags of wild vegetables that my mother pulled out, and when I got to the door, my mother, who was cooking in the kitchen, suddenly ran out and shouted to me: Son, that's feeding pigs, our little pigs are still hungry! I:......

7. I bought a new house and took over my father, who lived alone in the country. Dad quickly talked to the two old men in the new neighborhood. When they introduced themselves, one old man said that he was the year of flower armor, and the other old man said that he had gone to the scepter of the scepter. After listening to the introduction of the two humanities Zou Zou, Dad decided not to be left behind. So the father, who was over 58 years old, introduced: "I have arrived in the same city!" ”

8. After work, I went to the barber shop before. Boss: Handsome guy, what kind of haircut? Me: Cut a hairstyle with a high left and a low right, a pinch of hair in the front and two pits in the back. The boss said: Handsome man, I will not be able to talk about this hairstyle you are talking about? I slapped him and scolded: You won't? Didn't you cut it for me last time...??

9, the mother-in-law has a son, gave birth to a second child, the little uncle is only 1 year older than my son. I took my son back to my hometown for the New Year, and I secretly hid my son's New Year's red envelope under the window. This scene was seen by the little uncle, who secretly took the red envelope away. Then, the little uncle took my son to the supermarket to buy snacks, all of which were paid for by the little brother-in-law. Back at home, the little uncle said triumphantly: What's the matter, uncle is good to you? The son was eating spicy noodles, and the surname nodded his head: Uncle is so good! In the evening, the son found that the red envelope was missing, and the little uncle locked himself in the bedroom. The son was ashamed and angry, and kept knocking at the door and shouting: You give me out, give me your red envelope, and call me a few uncles, otherwise this matter will not be over!

10, the weekend off work at home, ready to go out for a walk, just outside the rain, I just lay on the couch to play with the phone. When my wife saw it, she came over and said: You know how to play with your mobile phone all day long, go and water the flowers outside! I said: It's raining outside. Wife: You don't shoot an umbrella when it rains? In the afternoon, my wife saw me playing with my mobile phone again and yelled: You don't do any housework at home, you know how to play mobile phones! I said: I watered the flowers in the morning. As a result, my wife kicked me in the ass coldly: it rained all morning, you still watered the flowers, are you sick? I......

11. The brother-in-law and a local tycoon who drove a Bentley were drinking in a bar, and the local tycoon was drunk and complained to the brother-in-law: "I am also a person with an annual income of 6 figures, just when I had a successful career, I did not think that last year my life had undergone major changes." The brother-in-law smiled in his heart: "Oh, you also have today!" But on the surface, it still comforts the local tycoon: "Brother, don't be sad, on the success or failure of life heroic, it is a big deal to start from scratch, what happened last year?" The local tycoon said: "The annual income is over 7 figures." ”?

#Funny##Funny#Funny##搞笑一刻 #