1. On that day, the son asked his father: "Dad, are you and my mother in love at first sight?" Dad pondered for a moment, remembering the tortuous and long love process with his lover. Jokingly replied: "

1. On that day, the son asked his father: "Dad, are you and my mother in love at first sight?" Dad pondered for a moment, remembering the tortuous and long love process with his lover. Jokingly replied, "Which arrow is it?" Your mother is not a fuel-saving lamp, and it cost me more than 100,000 arrows! ”

2, the rich man has cancer, the doctor said he can live up to 3 months. The rich man was upset and asked the doctor if there was a good treatment. The doctor groaned for a moment: "Sell your Mercedes and buy an old bicycle; divorce your wife and marry a female drunkard; sell your downtown house and go to the suburbs to buy a broken house." The rich man asked eagerly. "Then I'll be able to live a few more years?" Doctor: "No. You will feel like you are living for years. ”

3, a rich man got cancer, the doctor said he can live for a maximum of one month. The rich man was upset and asked the doctor if there was a good treatment. The doctor groaned for a moment: "Sell your Mercedes Benz and buy an old bicycle; divorce your wife and find a female drunkard to marry; sell your downtown house, and buy a broken house in the suburbs, so that I can live a few more years?" The rich man asked eagerly. "No, you can't. You will feel like you are living for years.

4, since the last time riding an electric car was hit, the finger injury is not good, I dare not ride. On the way, I met Miss Hanfu and wanted to take me home, originally talking about wulidun, and then talking about the intersection of the community, but the result was to send me to the bottom of the building. I was so touched by the feeling of waiting for the holiday all day, so I went home early to bring the crabs I had just bought to the pot

5. My cousin who went to college at Zhejiang University graduated and heard that he came back with his girlfriend. The aunt wrapped her cousin's favorite dumplings at the door and waited for her cousin to return. At noon, I only saw my cousin pulling his luggage back alone, and when he went up to ask, he knew that his cousin did not have a girlfriend at all, and he lied to everyone. My aunt was in a hurry, a hot pot of small steamed buns smashed on my cousin's face, and I was also hurt when I stood next to me! I was also scolded by my aunt while watching the play! Aunt: I haven't seen a meat bun beating a dog! I'm single! You can't involve me in your family's affairs, can you? Say good single dog protection association!

6, just finished the eyebrows to home, the husband said: "There are friends who want to come to visit at night." I said, "No, I just had eyebrows, and it's not appropriate to see people!" The husband said, "It's all right, just hide you when the time comes!" I smiled and said, "Is this Kanaya Zangjiao?" The husband said leisurely: "This is called the ugliness of the family can not be publicized!" "I...

7. Deposited 5 million yuan in the Construction Bank, and the Construction Bank gave the 5 million yuan loan to Xiao Li. Xiao Li used the 5 million yuan from the loan to buy a house, and the real estate developer deposited the 5 million into the bank. So the problem is, there is only 5 million in total, and I and the real estate developer can take 5 million each, a total of 10 million. The bank can only collect a loan of 5 million yuan from Xiao Li, is the bank losing 5 million yuan? Where did the other 5 million go?

8, a brother grinned all day long, things are also thrown around, a very careful and cautious friend laughed at him, but also looked down on him, but this good joke other people's people, not today lost the bicycle "downstairs was stolen", or lost money, he also strange did not see the person lost anything. They shared the house together, paid the deposit, five years later the unit with the deposit slip to return the deposit, he rummaged through the cabinet can not find the deposit slip "he thought it would not be refunded" hot eyes watched people with the deposit slip to get back the deposit!

9, lost, the old driver took me. Today and female netizens agreed to meet for dinner, she brought three women and two men over. They took me to the most expensive hotel in the county, all by the most expensive dishes. I couldn't drink well, and after half a pound of stomach, I went to the toilet, met for the first time, and didn't want to vomit in front of her. Coming out directly to the bar and ordering them two bottles of Wuliangye liquid, I took a Hibiscus King myself and went home. After arriving home, there were more than two hundred missed mobile phones, all of which were called by her, and I wanted to ask the old drivers, did she look at me? Is there really love at first sight in the world?

10, I told my classmates that my bicycle was lost, bought less than a week, sad. The classmate said, what do you think, I bought a bicycle, only looked at it and lost it: the classmate asked others to help buy a bicycle, at noon, he was cooking instant noodles in the kitchen, only to hear someone downstairs shouting: "Xiao Wang, the car is bought back!" The classmate leaned out of the window and looked at it and said, "Put it there, I'll go down, thank you!" "Turn off the fire, wipe your hands, and go downstairs." The car is gone...

11. Today, I drove my newly purchased Volkswagen Baolai to work, and when I went downstairs to the company, I was stopped by the executive and asked me to show my badge. After reading it, the executive said: You can't go in. I said: Why? The administrative supervisor said: The photo of the badge does not match the person. I took a closer look at the badge, and the picture on it was of a hairy little dot with a red scarf, and I called my wife. The wife said: My son scratched the photo above you, and I pasted the photo of you when you were in the first grade.

12. When I was in the first class, my new classmate was an honest and good student, and he sat next to me and said respectfully: Hello, brother. I said: Don't call me brother. He asked: What is that called? I said, "Just call me by my name." As a result, the next morning when I arrived at the classroom, he enthusiastically shouted: Daimyo, you are here! The thoughts of the scholarly bully are something that ordinary people like me can understand, alas, I am confused!

13. Female: Do you have a room? Male: 130 square meters elevator bungalow. F: Do you have a car? M: Yes, Audi S3. F: What is the tail number of your license plate? M: Tail number 6, what's wrong? F: Oh, no, I have a license plate tail number of 6, I have to find another tail number. man:......

14, my classmate boarding student, one night he called his mother and said: "Mom, is the headache better?" His mother said, "Much better." I thought he was still very loving, and then he said, "That's okay, our teacher asked you to come over."