1, the company has a female colleague who looks very beautiful, I chased after me for three months, but she still rejected me, and put down the harsh words: If you pestered me in the future, I will tell my sister to go, and I will not do it later

1, the company has a female colleague who looks very beautiful, I chased hard for three months, but she still rejected me, and put down the harsh words: If you pestered me in the future, I will tell my sister to go, and you will eat fruit in the future. I asked her, "Who is your sister?" The female colleague said: The female boss of our company is my sister. I thought about it carefully, since I couldn't take down my female colleague, then I took down her sister, so I made a major decision that day and began to pursue the female boss, and the next day, I would ask the female boss every day for warmth, and everything cared about her, and within a month, the female boss was touched by me and promised to be my girlfriend. Today, the landlady called the female colleague to the office and said: From today on, he is your brother-in-law. When the female colleague heard it, she stomped her feet in anger. Then, I walked out of the office and vaguely heard the landlady say to the female colleague: Don't think about hitting your brother-in-law in the future. Hey hey, it's so deeply hidden in merit and fame.

2. I enrolled my son in piano classes, and if I signed up, I could send a beautiful school bag. My son's bag had a hole in it, just in time. I and my wife want to register the fee, the wife is too expensive, I let my son talk about what is the benefit of reporting for piano class, my son can't remember, I guided him to have what we just need, very beautiful Oh! I also used my hand to compare the shape of the bag... The son immediately said: Yes! The piano teacher is beautiful! ...... Who knows what it's like to kneel on the ground and sing conquest...

3, seeing that it is about to be ten o'clock, the little girl is still bouncing on the window, especially energetic. I yawned at the side, my eyelids almost closed, sleepy and unwanted. In order to get the little girl to go to sleep quickly, I frightened her and said, "Dare to sleep fast, whose little child does not sleep, the wolf will follow the sound to find it, it is very terrible, usually come out in the middle of the night, it will howl under the moon..." Sure enough, the daughter was a little frightened and quickly closed her eyes. The next morning, when I met Aunt Juanju downstairs, as soon as she saw me, she asked, "Xiao Wang, what kind of dog do you have at home, how do you bark like a wolf, and most of the night I hear my scalp tingling." ”

4. I worked as a courier in SF for two months and saved 100,000 yuan and went to the melon used car market to buy a Volkswagen Magotan. As a result, on the first day of driving on the road, I was rear-ended by a Baojun 310. I put the car in the auto repair shop for repairs, and after work I rubbed the female supervisor's Porsche 918 home and I sat in the co-pilot. When I got to my neighborhood, the car pulled over and slowed down. Just unbuckled my seat belt and was about to get out of the car, when suddenly there was a "bang" of the throttle, I was suddenly pushed into the seat, and the car sped out several meters. Immediately after the "ga" of a sharp brake, I was lying on the storage box in front of the co-driver. As a result, the female supervisor said lightly: "Oops, the throttle is used as a brake." "I almost scared si, and came home for a long time without slowing down.

5. In the first year of school at Tsinghua University, my best brother and I in the dormitory looked at the class flowers. We made an appointment to compete fairly and will still be brothers in the future. On this day, the three of us were studying together, Ban Hua said a little eczema, I did not say a word to run to the pharmacy to buy an ointment to treat eczema. Back in the self-study room, the roommate was pinching the neck of The Class Flower: if you drop the pillow, you will fall on the pillow, don't say that it is a lost pillow, and the strength is heavy. ...... Now their kids are ten years old!?

6. When re-studying in a key high school, the relationship with a poor student living in a rural area was particularly good. We used to go out to dinner, but he never checked out. Every time at checkout, he said to go to the bathroom and I had to pay for it. Once, after eating, I learned to be smart, and before he could speak, I immediately went to the toilet. When I came out and found him gone, the shop owner stopped me and said, "Just now that person said you finished going to the toilet, you checked out!" ”?

7. I opened a barber shop by myself, and Brother Li upstairs often patronized my business. Even his son often came to me to ask for candy, and Brother Li's wife was very unhappy. On this day, just after entering the door of the community, I saw that Brother Li's son was constantly crying by his wife, and his wife was about to beat him when he was on fire. I can't always ignore it next to me, hurry up and persuade him, and then coax Brother Li's son to be well. So his son always thought that I was his mother.

8) My girlfriend and I met in college and I have always loved my girlfriend. One day I had a fight with my girlfriend over a small matter, and I righteously said, "I've put up with you for two years." Not to be outdone, she asked in a loud voice, "What do you want?" I immediately instigated: "... I want to endure it for a few more decades. ”

9. This morning, I'm going out on a blind date, and I'm going to get dressed up in the morning. I changed into beautiful clothes, got my hair on, and painted delicate makeup and drove to the agreed place. The man saw me and said: You are so beautiful, I went to the bathroom, my brother threw up. I secretly like it was worth spending so long dressing up today, and he couldn't hold on to it as soon as he saw me! I was happy when I saw him leading a little boy from the bathroom...

10, girlfriend likes a guy who has newly moved to the next unit, and does not know how to get in touch, asked me if I have a way. Me: "Dressed as a takeaway delivery, deliberately fainting at his door, he wants to see you will let you into the house, if he does not look at you will call 120, he will send you to the hotel when he is married." 」 The girlfriend said with a look of envy: "Sister, how much do you know!!! "I...

11. I was expelled from college for falling in love with a student, and then I entered a middle school as a Chinese teacher. Every weekend, I leave a lot of homework for the students in my class. That time, I didn't leave a lot of homework, so I asked my classmates: Do you think there is a lot of homework? It's a very tricky question, and no matter how much or how little they answer, I can add more. Just when I was proud, a scum stood up: Teacher, I think it is just right!!

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #