Keigo Higashino has a passage in "Shisheng":
"Everyone wants to be born in a good family, but you can't choose your parents, what kind of card you are given, you can only try to play it well." 」
The inability to choose parents is the most helpless thing for human beings. What kind of family you will be born into, whether you are rich or poor, whether your parents are loving or unbearable, whether your parents are sound, whether the environment for growth is safe, you can't be the Lord. Some people are born with a golden key and win on the starting line, and some people are born orphans, and even the basic food and clothing problems cannot be solved.
There is only one kind of person who can really determine the circumstances of our birth, and that is the parents who decide to give birth to you. A child cannot choose his parents, but parents can choose whether or not to let him be born.
In the eyes of some ignorant people, children are their appendages, tools for them to satisfy their own interests, they want to be born, after birth they want to, they don't want to, children do not listen to their own words, they will put down a hat of filial piety, and even do things that hurt their children. No matter how good you are to your child, once I give birth to you, you can cover up the past, and you will not tolerate a child complaining about it for a sentence or two. Those who have children irresponsibly are not worthy of parenting.
Born as a human being, please consider 4 questions before becoming a parent.
1. Can you guarantee a complete home for your child?
The so-called complete home refers to the complete parents and the parents living together. Father's love is like a mountain, holding up a piece of heaven for the child, mother's love is like the wind, nourishing the growth of the child, father's love and mother's love are the most basic love in family affection, and for the child, it is indispensable.
Therefore, before having children, you must ensure that your marriage is healthy, that your husband and wife are harmonious, and that you have reached the end of divorce or even divorced. It is a great injustice to children to have children from single-parent families at birth.
In "In the Name of Family", He Ziqiu's mother He Mei was finally whitewashed, however, in my opinion, she insisted on giving birth to He Ziqiu, and she was not worth washing.
When He Mei was pregnant, she had already felt Zhao Huaguang's character clearly, and she knew how much this man was not a thing, and their feelings had come to an end. Giving birth to a child means that He Mei will become a single mother, bearing the huge pressure of one person with a baby and working hard to support the child. The hardships of single mothers are not something that ordinary people can bear. Childhood without paternal love is also an inevitable trauma to the child's heart.
Women must use reproductive rights carefully.
When the feelings of the two of you have not been clear, before the marriage has not been approved by the parents of both parties, do not rush to have children, in case of a falling out, the children are going to be injured are women; when the two of you have decided to separate, do not rush to have children, do not let yourself become a single mother.
2. Can you ensure that there are enough living expenses and study expenses after the birth of the child?
Money can make ghosts grind, no money is difficult to move, money, the importance of life is self-evident. If you don't have money, you don't have to feed your children, and raising yourself is a problem.
The amount of money it takes to raise a child is difficult to measure. First of all, when you are pregnant with him, you need to spend the October pregnancy and childbirth period, during which nutrition, examination fees, production costs, etc., are not small expenses; after the birth of the child, food, clothing, housing and transportation is the basic need, but also need to prepare a fund for medical expenses, the child has reached the age of study, more than ten years of study costs are enough to crush a family that is not rich.
An important manifestation of parenting, being responsible for children, is to prepare money before giving birth to children, so that children can have no worries about food and clothing, school, illness, and a stable place to live, without being displaced.
3. Can you guarantee enough love for your child?
It is the nature of animals that parents love their children, but in fact, there are parents in this world who do not love their children.
For example, in the eyes of patriarchal parents, the daughter is not their little cotton jacket, but the nanny of the family, and when she grows up, she becomes a cash cow at home; in the eyes of people with extreme personalities, the child is not their heart and liver baby, but a punching bag, and even a tool to retaliate against the spouse.
Last year, there was a TV series about the original family that caught fire, called "An Jia". In the play, can you say that Fang Zhijin's mother Pan Guiyu loves this daughter? In her eyes, except for her son, the other daughters are cash cows. What Pan Guiyu brought to Fang Zhijin was not affection, not warmth, but pain, cold.
Loving your children is a basic requirement for parenting. Whether the child is excellent or ordinary, whether the child is born with any unsound places, whether he is male or female, parents should love him, never abandon him, educate him from the perspective of his own good, care for his growth, rather than hurting his children for their own selfish interests.
4. Can you guarantee that you will educate your children well?
When a person has done something bad, people will pick up their family background and upbringing, and will always find that they have unreliable parents behind them. At the beginning of man, nature is good, sex is close, and habits are far away. This "Xi" mainly comes from the original family, or more accurately, from the parents.
Stealing needles when young, stealing gold when old, when children do wrong things, how parents educate will directly affect the shaping of children's three views. Let him realize the seriousness of the problem, give him the opportunity to change, strict requirements, he will be guided to the right path; a simple and rough scolding, hurt the child's self-esteem, will only backfire.
Parenting or not teaching, the fault of the father, and educating children are the basic requirements of parenthood. If you don't have the confidence to teach your child well, and you can't even be independent, don't rush to have a child.
Children are a living life, a treasure given to us by God, and deserve to be cared for by our parents and live in a stable, healthy and happy environment.
END.