My Suffering My College – Chapter 1: Growing Up Is Painful, and Life Doesn't Stop Growing 7

"I thought sadly: What other 11-year-old girl in the world besides me is running on the road to escape at this moment?" I will always remember the panic and horror of that night, and the desolation was bone-chilling."

One day at noon, I was chopping pig grass with a knife on the floor of the hall, Yang Dongqi was taking a nap in the room, and when his snoring came out, I suddenly had a heart beat: Isn't this a good opportunity? My heart began to beat. The speed of chopping grass in my hand slowed down, and I imagined the consequences of Yang Dongqi's great happiness after being cut down by me, and a trace of happiness surged into my heart. I clutched the kitchen knife in my right hand, crept to the door, I saw Yang Dongqi's fat body and his huge head, my heart beat wildly with nervousness, and the knife handle sweated in my small palm.

Suddenly, Yang Dongqi coughed and turned over, facing me, I was shocked, and the kitchen knife fell to the ground with a "clang" from my hand. I was so frightened that I didn't react for a few seconds. Thankfully, Yang Dongqi didn't move at all. I trembled and picked up the knife and ran to the river to catch my breath. It took me a long time to calm down.

Now that I think about it, I still have palpitations for the idea of killing people when I was 11 years old, and I am afraid that my heart is so cruel and crazy, if I really do it, what will happen to my life? I don't know. Later, I did not act hastily, I thought, a gentleman's revenge, ten years is not too late, I will always have a day to emerge.

It was the autumn of 1980, the sad season when the three of us, mother and daughter, began to flee. Fleeing the house also came unexpectedly. It was one night, I was asleep and suddenly woken up by the sound of a fight, and Yang Dongqi was beating my mother again. I jumped off the bed and pounced on Yang Dongqi's hand that broke my mother's hand to death, and Yang Dongqi slapped me with a slap in the face, making my head buzz. My mother rushed to protect me, and my mother's bravery was something I had never seen before, and I was worried about my mother. Sure enough, Yang Dongqi immediately rushed over and twisted his mother's fingers, and her mother screamed in pain and squatted on the ground. Meihua also woke up and crouched timidly beside her mother and cried quietly. I was desperate, the three of us mother and daughter were absolutely doomed today.

Yang Dongqi patted his chest and said viciously, "Dare to confront Lao Tzu, Lao Tzu is impatient to see that you are living!" Lao Tzu has never been afraid of anyone in his life, and he has provoked Lao Tzu, and everyone dares to kill! The old man went back to get a pig-killing knife, and he didn't believe that he couldn't teach you a lesson! "After saying that, I pushed my bicycle out of the door, and locked the door before leaving." His home is in Yangzhuang, about five kilometers away from my home.

When Yang Dongqi's bicycle bell gradually disappeared, the three of us mother and daughter suddenly cried with a headache in despair. After crying for a while, her mother wiped her tears and said, "After Pinghou, you quickly take Meihua away." When Yang Dongqi returned, he was not dead, but also crippled. You first run to the second team of Gan Aunt's house to hide, and then ask Aunt Gan to find a way to send you to her relative's house, Yang Dongqi may not be able to find it. I hugged my mother: "Mom, what about you?" "

"Sooner or later my life will be in the hands of this devil anyway." I'll fight with him!" Hurry up and get out of the crack in the door. "I won't live or die, and I must make sure my mother goes with us." The mother and daughter embraced and cried bitterly.

Thankfully, my mother eventually escaped with us. Together, we removed the door panel, and when we came out, we closed the door again, and the kerosene lamp in the house was still lit, illuminating the desolation of the room. My sister and I stumbled to escape as our mother pulled one by one.

At this time, it was the second half of the night, and a round of miserable white crescent moons illuminated our frightened figures. A faint mist shrouded the silent wilderness, and there was a thin chill in the wilderness. We walked from the ridge of the wheat field in front of the door, and through the wheat field was a mulberry forest. I was walking in panic when suddenly a tree stake poked me in the leg, and for a moment there was a sharp pain, and I didn't say a word. I thought it must have been bleeding, but I didn't have time to stop and examine the wound, and as I ran, I reluctantly looked back at the home that was silent in the darkness. It is like a weakened old man, clinging to my sorrow and joy.

As I was exhausted, I thought sadly: What other 11-year-old girl in the world besides me is running on the road to escape in a panic at this moment?

I will always remember the panic and fear of that night, desolate to the bone.

There is no darker night in my memory. That night, I don't know exactly how much I had walked, my feet were blistered with blood, my feet were sore, and it seemed that the road would go all the way to the sky. My sister couldn't walk in the end, and it was my mother and I who took turns carrying her. When the sky was already shining, my mother finally took us to the house of her niece, my cousin Hongying. Hongying's cousin's home is in Guo Yuanxiang, more than 20 kilometers away, and there is very little contact between normal times, and her mother said that Yang Dongqi does not know her cousin's home, and it should be very safe here.

Hongying is the younger daughter of my brother-in-law, who died early, was brought up by her mother since she was a child, and has a deep affection for her mother. My cousin had three children, my cousin-in-law worked hard and became rich, and the small family was also solid.

My cousin saved us. I am still very grateful to my cousin's family.

But the mother disappeared the day after she arrived at Hongying's cousin's house.

(xi)

"This begging experience became one of the most memorable details of my life, the love of strangers and the indifference and meanness of relatives formed a sharp contrast, and my little heart has been filled with gratitude and hatred ever since!" 」

Terrified, I searched for my mother in front of and behind my cousin's house. There were dense reeds behind my cousin's house, and I thought my mother was hiding in it, going in to call for it, and I lost my soul.

My cousin grabbed me tightly and whispered to me, "Your mother has gone to Anhui." When she settles down over there, she will come back and pick up your sisters. "Anhui? Where is Anhui? Why did my mother go to Anhui? I froze for a moment, and there was only one thought in my mind: My mother abandoned us! My mother left me and my 8-year-old sister alone, no longer protecting and loving us! I resented my mother to the extreme!

I hadn't eaten all day, and when I was tired of crying, I fell asleep. In the dream is the back of my mother's resolute departure, my sister and I stand where the lights can't shine, calling out to my mother, tears flowing into a river...

After I calmed down, Hongying's cousin talked to me once, and I understood my mother's hard work.

Hongying's cousin had a sister-in-law who happened to be married far away in the countryside of Anhui, and her mother was desperate, so she had to listen to Hongying's cousin's advice and go to Anhui to make a living. The reason why my mother did not take me and my sister with me was that she was afraid that there would be two "drag oil bottles" that would not be easy to find a partner. When my mother left, she told Hongying's cousin and told me and my sister to go back to my father's hometown, Zhao Jiayuan, to find my father (grandfather), uncle and aunt, and let them raise us for a while. When she found a suitable family in Anhui, she immediately wrote to her cousin to send us over.

I took my sister's hand back to our hometown of Zhao Jiayuan on a rainy morning, there are three or four kilometers from my cousin's house to Zhao Jiayuan, and my father took me from this road to my father's house countless times when he was alive, and I still vaguely recognized the route. What I never expected was that when my sister and I came to our hometown, we were faced with a face full of indignation, sneering, and indifference.

The uncle said, "I also have sons and grandchildren, how can I afford to raise you two little things?" The aunt said, "I can afford it, I don't raise it!" Isn't your mother very capable? Find your capable mother! The family was ruined, so she patted her ass and left, letting the Zhao family raise her daughter for her, no way! "

The 84-year-old father is an old man who is supported by his well-off aunt. Daddy looked at me and Meihua with sympathetic and pity eyes and said, "Don't say anything now, kiss the Zhao family, first get some food for the two children." The aunt said: "Feed the pigs and don't give them food, who knows if it's her mother's bitter meat plan?" "What kind of insult is this? What kind of pain is this?

My head swelled with a "buzzing" sound, my skinny little face must have swollen red, and I angrily and hatefully said to my aunt's face that looked very rich: "Aunt, you remember, we just don't come to your door to beg for food, your family will not be rich for a lifetime, and my family will not be poor for a lifetime!" After saying that, I pulled Meihua and ran away from Daddy's house, and I heard Daddy shouting anxiously behind me. We don't turn our heads back. I was crying while running. My little heart was full of inflated humiliation and hatred! That is, on that day, I made two vows in my heart: First, from now on, I would cut off everyone in the Zhao family! Second, we must get ahead!

What a rainy day it was! I will always remember the rain of that day, dense, melancholy, sad, like an endless gray net, enveloping the homeless me and my sister.

Desperate.

Sister, where are we going? Meihua's hungry little face was as gray as the sky.

My heart was like raindrops falling to the ground, hurting and shattering. I squeezed Meihua's hand, and the only way we had to go back to Hongying's cousin's house was. It was dark early in the rain, and Meihua was too hungry to walk, and we were like two little ants submerged by the rain, crawling bitterly in the mud of life.

The farmhouse on the side of the road has lit up the kerosene lamp, the open door has the smell of food, there are shaking figures and the sound of adults scolding children, I really envy the little child who is reprimanded by his parents - if I drink a bowl of porridge at this moment, I will not wander in the rain, even if I am scolded by my parents, I am happy!

Meihua really couldn't walk, I squatted down, Meihua lay on my back like a kitten, hunger and weight made me dizzy for a moment, remembering my mother who didn't know where she was, a string of tears fell in the rain.

When I couldn't move Meihua anymore, I let her go, and we both squatted on the side of the road, hands on my stomach, swallowing heavily. There are families on the side of the road, the door is half open, there is no sound in the house, but there is the sound of a spatula, as if it is eating and washing dishes. Meihua whispered, "Sister, I'm hungry." I don't know what could be more embarrassing than asking for food, I swallowed timidity and inferiority like saliva, I went to the door of the house with embarrassment, coughed softly at the door, and the hostess of the house turned to see me, walked in, and asked, "Which one are you?" Why not go home? What to do on my doorstep? I didn't speak, tears pouring out of my eyes.

The hostess looked at me, and then looked at Meihua crouching on the side of the road, Meihua finally cried out, and I finally squeezed out a sentence with difficulty: Auntie, we are hungry...

The hostess looked at us, came out and pulled one by one, and pulled me and Mei Hua into her house. That night, we compensated for the hunger of the day, and although it was only polenta and pickles, the fragrant taste was unforgettable. Even more memorable was the woman with butterfly spots on her face, who was home only to her and her 4-year-old son, who patiently watched me and Meihua drink porridge, and I occasionally looked up and saw the sparkling liquid in her eyes.

Since then, I have known what it means to be kind to others.

That night, Meihua and I slept in the straw pile in front of the family's stove door, and the smell of straw filled the whole dream.

The next day, Meihua and I continued on our way. I still feel guilty that I didn't write down the name of that kind woman, which became an eternal regret in this life! This begging experience became one of the most memorable details of my life, the love of strangers and the indifference and meanness of relatives formed a sharp contrast, and my little heart has been full of gratitude and hatred ever since!