The term "caravan" is not unfamiliar to everyone, some time ago we have seen the story of Shanghai mothers customizing caravans for their children? But today's story is a little different. Someone else's caravan is a caravan, their "caravan" is a "caravan + car", and its little owner Bob also named it "Bob's Dream Mobile Home".
I was first attracted by the parents' personal construction of a "motorhome" to fulfill their children's dreams, but after listening to my mother's story, I was even more moved by my mother's story.
Her life story is a hurdle that people often encounter in middle age: even if the external conditions have conformed to the world's recognition of good and stable, good grades, good work, and iron rice bowls, the obstacles that life cannot get around are still self-contained, emotional, and spiritual, and need to be carried by themselves. In the process, we slowly accept our imperfections and are touched by every gift of love.
This article is transferred from: Children's Book Mom Mikawa Ling (ID: tongshuchubanmama) Text: Li Hua
Before talking about my "mobile home", let me introduce myself:
My name is Fu Fu, can you tell that these two photos are the same person?
Don't ask, ask is: beautiful
Yes, now I have sentenced (fat) two people, I myself often laugh at myself "now I have become two FuFu", two "Fu Fu" is also very good, because my life has also experienced more than twice the richness.
One foot in the sky, one foot in the earth,
My life never seemed to go smoothly
My home is in a small village in Shunyi, but I often have a sense of distance from that village.
It is said that it is a person from the village, our family has no land in the village, and we are all non-agricultural households.
Say no, and live there all the time. Because my grandmother was educated and had a formal job, she only returned to the village after she retired. My mom and dad divorced when I was very young and I have lived there with my grandmother since I was 2 years old.
▲When I grow up, I return to the small village where I grew up
In those days, my grandmother had a retirement salary and a re-employment salary in the village brigade, and in such a village, our life was almost envious and hateful to the people around us.
We both went to the big market every three or five minutes, and grandma could always buy me a bunch of new clothes and good food, and my dress was always clean and beautiful.
However, my childhood was not happy except for the time with my grandmother.
Maybe because I don't have a normal family like everyone else, or because our life in the countryside is a bit "eye-catching", I am always the one who is bullied.
I never even dared to speak loudly, and I walked quietly, because I didn't know who would hit me again today, who would take a gecko or a snake and put it in my neck, who would go to the house and steal my toys, or rob me of my beautiful clothes...
▲I took a picture with my grandmother when I was a child
Grandma is a very strong person, she has never urged me to study, nor has she emphasized what I should do or what is right and what is wrong, what she does is more to lead by example and accompany me day and night. Every time I made a grade in school, she would celebrate me and praise me without hesitation.
My grandmother and I were dependent on each other, and my biggest wish at that time was that I would be admitted to a key high school and college, and grow up to honor my grandmother.
Because of the hard work, the years have not been disappointed. I was admitted to a key high school with very good grades, and the principal and teachers of my junior high school still tell others about me as a legend.
Later, I was admitted to the university as I wished, and later, I passed the hurdle and had a stable job, a formal establishment, and an iron rice bowl, thinking that everything would go smoothly.
But fate took a turn.
When the blow of life comes,
Never say hello to you
There was a lot of work and a lot of pressure, and I was depressed, and I was severely depressed.
Not only was I depressed, but there was also a problem with my cervical and lumbar spine, as if all the parts of my body were torturing me.
From 2008 to 2009, under the torment of illness, I was thin, 174cm tall and weighed less than 100 pounds. But some people around me said, "Isn't depression a neurosis?" Isn't depression just watching your eyes..."
The words of others, reaching my ears, will only make my condition more serious. Sometimes I cry until I faint, and it's even harder at night. I thought about what had happened to me over and over again, but I couldn't figure it out. More than once I wanted to make extreme choices.
What others see is that I get all kinds of trophies, awards, quick promotions...
What others can't see is the effort behind me, and the various sneers that I have silently endured...
Fortunately, at that time, I had already met my lover— and the most powerful companion to accompany me through the dark years. At that time, my son was less than 1 year old.
In those years, my husband took me, I held my son who was less than 1 year old, and I ran every day on the way to the Sixth Hospital of Beijing Medical College and the private psychological counseling clinic, and we in the working class almost spent all our savings.
If it weren't for my husband and son, I wouldn't have the sunshine I have today.
My body cried out:
Go back to the countryside!
After some relief from the condition, the three of us often drove around Beijing to relax, and the scenery in the mountains also evoked the memories of when I went to teach in the Yimeng Mountains when I was in college.
At that time, it was the most authentic period of time, getting along with the simple children in the mountain village every day, and also activating the cells of my childhood life in the countryside, and I missed the rural landscape and the rural lifestyle when I was a child.
I began to have a bold idea: to return to rural life, to have a place where we belong in some mountain.
How lucky I am, sir said: "Wherever you go, where I go, you go back to the countryside to start a business, I will resign." "In order to return to rural life, we chose to start a business and open a homestay.
▲ When my husband and I were married for 11 years, I sent a circle of friends: the 11th season of "Not Leaving"
God has blessed us, and after some hard work, we have really done it. We found the big mountain of our dreams, and although it was a small, dilapidated house at first, we fell in love with the surrounding mountains and the trees around us, and we began to devote ourselves to building our beautiful little world.
Entrepreneurship is never a beautiful thing, and it is inevitable that money will be spent. Not only to consider the problem of money, but also to be able to do everything according to their own wishes, such as building houses, planting land, building walls, carpentry, painting, all the work I will participate in one by one, I will not often learn from carpenters, masons.
It is false to say that it is not bitter, but the will tempered by the hardships I had suffered as a child has helped me at this time - I am a child raised by a strong grandmother! I've been riding my bike eight miles from the third grade of elementary school to and from the village and school! I am a person who has experienced the stars and the moon, the wind and rain!
So over the years, my hands-on ability has also soared.
▲ I have tried almost all kinds of jobs
In the embrace of the mountains, every day in contact with nature, birds and flowers, planting flowers, adopting stray cats and dogs, hands and feet are often covered with mud, but eating their own vegetables and fruits, watching time travel, feeling the changes of the four seasons, very magical, abandoned by society, I feel the healing in nature.
▲ The harvest that makes me feel at ease
In his spare time, he will continue to do manual work, deal with wooden bricks, and enjoy it. Although the body is suffering, there are fewer psychological problems. I also practiced my eighteen martial arts. This also laid an indispensable foundation for us to build a "caravan" dream for our son in the future.
Fate is playing a joke on us again,
My unhappy childhood also befell my son
I thought we could restart our happy life in the countryside, but I didn't expect that fate would play a big joke with us again.
Maybe my illness takes up too much of our energy, or maybe we're too focused on building houses and furniture, and there's a lot of energy involved in actually getting into rural life.
In short, in those years, we overlooked a particularly important issue: the growth of our sons.
▲ Once a white and fat child, "mixing" with us in the mountains all day, often sleeping next to the construction site, and soon became a small mud child
At the beginning, we were not good at handling interpersonal relationships, with our son Bob, who was not yet one year old, and plunged into the depths of the mountains to live, and his son grew freely in the embrace of nature, his body was very healthy, and his mind was also very active.
However, he was accustomed to "freedom", but when he reached the kindergarten, he became an "outlier". He likes to run around and talk loudly, and he is even locked in the toilet by the teacher... We are also the first time to be parents, completely do not understand, even under the "persuasion" of the teacher, also anxious to think that the child has ADHD ...
With this label everywhere to change kindergartens, Beijing large and small kindergartens have asked, some kindergartens listen to "ADHD" directly do not let the door into, some kindergartens charge tuition, but only let go for a few days a month.
I don't understand that we still have this kind of encounter if we try our best to embrace the good life. I couldn't help but complain externally and blame myself internally.
▲ My son has a lot of stuffed toys, each with his own name, and he is his friend
Until a young teacher of children's education took my hand and said to me with particular certainty: Bob is a very good child! Listening to this sentence, I suddenly realized that maybe the problem is not a child at all, but an adult who is afraid of children causing trouble?
I started studying child psychology and also met some good child psychology teachers, listening to their lessons, following their methods, constantly encouraging and affirming my son, making me firmly believe that children are wonderful and just need guidance.
Later, when we simply didn't go to kindergarten, we began to take Bob around, and when we couldn't get other love, our family of three loved each other vigorously.
9-year-old Bob has been to 31 countries and regions, and in the process of walking, he will encounter warm people and things, and our family is also in the full company of each other, healing each other.
Now, Bob has smoothly entered elementary school and met very responsible and good teachers. When I look back, I realize even more that what really needs to be reviewed is the adults who label their children at random.
What is even more unexpected is that in the process of accompanying my son to grow, I was also quietly healed. I also gradually let go that the bad people and things I have encountered do not represent the whole world, and there are more beautiful things in the world waiting for us to meet.
Son's toy small ideas,
We just "made" its toy bigger
The topic is a bit far away, returning to our RV theme, to be precise, "mobile homes".
Bob has been living with us in the mountains since he was a child, watching us often do handicraft work, he will also do it, and he has always liked handicrafts. Many house decorations and decorations in the family have his involvement in "design".
From not doing it in the beginning, to constantly encouraging us, we always have wild ideas. Just like this mobile home, it was also an idea in his occasional play.
When we used to travel to Australia, Bob especially liked the pickup truck he saw on a farm and never forgot it. Later, when he saw the toy car in the toy store, Bob said it was exactly the same as the pickup truck he saw in Australia, and of course bought it back.
Once, while playing, Bob said that it would be nice to combine the house with his favorite pickup truck, and while chanting, he divided it by five and used a scrap cardboard in his hand, cut a small house and put it on the toy car, and gave it to me as a gift.
"Hal has a mobile castle, Bob has a mobile house." ”
▲This is the gift that my son creatively processed and wants to give to me
Anyway, doing all kinds of handicrafts is also common for us, the table and chair bench at home, the wooden house... After thinking about it, it seems that it is not very difficult to realize my son's wish.
So, the day my son came up with the idea, we went to buy wood. We are activists.
It's just that the son didn't expect that the little gift he gave to his mother would really become large and real!
1 month! "Impossible" in the eyes of others,
Just our little case
The whole process took a month.
Mainly mom and dad are responsible for construction, and the son, as the "creative director", of course, also has to perform the duties of "overseer", and every day after school, he is also interested in watching our construction.
The three of us discussed and proceeded. Although we have a lot of "hands-on" experience, we will also encounter some problems.
For example, when our large frame has been completed, the length of the house has been wrong, but the completed frame cannot be demolished and rebuilt, so we can only think of another way. After some discussion among the three of us "stinky cobblers", we decided to build an extra space on the front side, which would look more layered in appearance. So Saion lost his horse, and he knew that it was not a blessing...
In the process of building a house, there was also a small episode, one day I was accidentally injured, on the way to the hospital, my son was worried and supported me step by step, in fact, I was injured in the eye socket, I can walk by myself. But my son still carefully hugged me, which really warmed my heart.
After more than a week, he also carried out his "care" to the end, and every day before going out of school, he told me: Don't start work!
I build a house for you, and what gift you give me is not a gift of love?
▲ We "made" our son's toy bigger!
Home and dry
Where is the scenery waiting for us?
For our works, basically or satisfactory, for practical considerations, waterproof and thermal insulation are relatively successful, stability is also very good, these are the basic guarantee. My son loves it even more and wants to stay in the small house and play for a while every day.
Of course, after all, it is the first time to do a mobile home, our experience is still insufficient, for example, if the doors and windows are wider and larger, it is better.
However, with this experience, I believe that our next work will definitely be better.
Next, we are going to build a tractor mobile house, a houseboat, and anyway, there is an old tractor and an old iron ship that have been acquired at home, and I am embarrassed to say that I am a "waste collection enthusiast". We calculated that when our tractor house and houseboat were ready, we could let our friends play together.
▲ I am a woman with a tractor
That's all a story, and now we'll enjoy our pickup mobile home trip first. Now as long as there is time, we will drive to the surrounding area of Beijing to play, we adults drive, children can be more comfortable in the small house, not afraid of tired and not afraid of cold.
Driving to the suburbs nowhere, our whole family can relax, rest and entertain in the small house, and a few snows in Beijing have not missed the snow scenery in winter. Sometimes I go camping, and after practicing, I can pat my chest and say: The insulation layer of our small house is quite successful, and the cold night in Beijing can be completely resisted.
We are also looking forward to the sound of spring flowing water birds, we lie in the small house, surrounded by the spring light of nature, just think about it.
▲ The first time we camped, we took a lot of photos to commemorate the success of this first time
▲ There was a heavy snowfall in Beijing, and naturally we did not give up the opportunity to lie in a small house and watch the snow
We are also looking forward to the fact that when the epidemic is over and when the winter and summer vacations are over, we will take Bob and drive our little blue car and travel around China together.
My current body is still not very good, sometimes I still need to take medicine, sometimes friends will say that I am so fat now, I am taking medicine.
But I still love to laugh, to the people I love, my grandmother, my husband, my son, to the friends I meet who have helped me in every way.
There must still be love and light in life.
To Grandma, I want to give her a lot of company. I will give him more love and understanding for my son, and I will never let him lack carefree happiness like when I was a child. His little dreams can be realized, and we are willing to entrust him with them.
▲ I often change the pattern to take pictures of my grandmother as a souvenir, and my grandmother laughs and says: When I leave, choose a good one for me
After listening to Fu Fu's story, she was touched by Fu Fu's positive optimism, and she herself was unwilling to say more about those bad years. Even looking at her smile, you'll feel like it doesn't matter anymore.
Her son has a similar look and smile to hers, and hopefully they can all continue to smile brightly.
Poke the video and watch the whole process of Bob Mobile Home being built from scratch
Ling Mikawa, an education publisher, children's book reviewer, TEDkids think tank expert, and director of the China Camp Alliance, has personally read 5,000+ children's compositions as a reading and writing educator, and is committed to using the reading and writing methods that conform to nature to make more people fall in love with reading and enjoy writing. He is the author of "Education To Happiness" and "Children Are Born to Write" (forthcoming).