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Reader's Letter:
I had another fight with my dad, and since my mom had died, we'd had a lot of fights, each time for the same reason: he wanted to remarry, and I couldn't accept it.
Is it that I am too sensitive, too obsessed, or men do not have women to value feelings? Didn't he ever think about remarrying sorry for my mother?
Although my mother has been dead for five years, I still can't accept my father's remarriage, I always can't help but hate him, every time I hate him, I will think of a lot of the past, as if I have to hate something, as if I would be sorry for you and my mother if I didn't.
In fact, if you think about it, my father remarried is nothing, after all, I can't live with him all the time, he will inevitably be lonely alone, and it is common for people to want to find someone to live with. However, this kind of thought flashed by every time, and it really put the problem in front of me, and I still couldn't get past the hurdle in my heart.
Now I'm 35 years old, still single, don't want to get married, and it's also related to my family's situation.
I am afraid of the non-people, I am afraid of accidents happening suddenly, I am afraid that one day I will die, and my children will be as sad as I am.
I know that my thoughts may be a little extreme, a little pessimistic, but I have experienced so many human sufferings, how can I resist not thinking about it?
Ever since my mother was gone, I felt that my world had lost its color, living every day lightly, no better, no worse, the warmth of the world, the color and the laughter, as if it were no longer relevant to me.
If my mother was still here, I don't think it would be like this, I would be happier when I encountered happy things because I could share them with her, and sad things would quickly dissipate because I was enlightened by her.
Where there is a mother, it is called home. Where there is no mother, it is always just a temporary place to stay. I didn't experience what it was like to be homeless before, but now that I do, nothing can change.
This is also the reason why I don't want to get married, I don't have a sense of belonging, I don't have a sense of security, I don't want to let others share this worry for me, others can't share it, you say?
What Donglin Xiting wants to say:
In this life, there are many unacceptable things, one of which is the death of relatives.
This kind of thing is not that it cannot be described in words, but that it is difficult to express the inner thoughts and feelings in limited language.
The word pain does not really express human suffering, because some people's pain is explicit, and some people's pain is implicit. Some people are smiling but bitter inside; some people seem to be quiet, but their hearts are turbulent.
It can only be said that no matter what kind of pain you feel, no matter how many complex feelings you have in your heart, you must learn to solve it. Talk to yourself, find someone to talk to, write it down in a diary, as long as you have the desire to express, don't be bored in your heart, otherwise you will isolate yourself from the world.
I want to say to the reader, "You can continue to miss your mother, but don't drown your life because of it, or your mother will be distressed, and she certainly does not want you to live so painfully because of her departure." I wouldn't advise you to get married, because your concerns are justified. Especially if you don't want to involve others, it shows that you are a kind person. As for the father, I think it's okay to agree to him remarrying, because life goes on, you have a life that you think is right, he also has a life that he thinks is right, sooner or later, anyway, sooner or later, there is no need to be unhappy for the rest of the time. The color of life still has to be slowly filled in, just like the mother's expectation of you. ”