01
When the rich have changed the direction of education, they have begun to cultivate compound talents who can better adapt to society.
The poor have taken the detour of the rich 10 years ago: spoiling their children indefinitely, seeking only achievements and nothing else.
Now there are too many "rich second generations" in poor families!
When it comes to team building, he said confusedly:
"In the past, I thought that the children of poor families could bear hardships and have a sense of responsibility, but now I dare not recruit employees with poor families, and there are too many rich second-generation poor families."
The "second generation of the rich" is in people's impressions equal to eating lazily, spending money like dirt, not seeking progress, and behaving obediently.
As the name suggests, it is because the family has money and spoils, resulting in children not understanding.
However, with the development of China's economy, especially the rise of the new middle class in the city, there are more and more rich second-generation people who are right in words and deeds, and who are hard-working and hard-working.
On the contrary, the children of poor families are infected with the problems of the former rich second generation.
The biggest reason for this phenomenon is the compensation psychology of the family, the more the family is not well-off, the more they feel that they cannot lose their children.
It is their educational belief that they prefer to be poor to the whole family than to the children.
Growing up in this environment, he was accustomed to reaching out to beg, lacking gratitude, spending tomorrow's money today, and spending far more than he could.
What's worse is that the sense of responsibility is almost zero, I am poor and I am reasonable, I am weak and I am justified.
This mentality will make the people around him have a lot of opinions about him. A complete failure in interpersonal communication.
02
Compensatory psychology is the self-consolation of elders.
10 years ago, the poor had the courage to admit their shortcomings and remain sober in educating their children: our family is not well-off, you have to shoulder more responsibilities and be self-reliant.
Nowadays, all kinds of wealth creation myths impact all levels of society, and more and more people who have not created wealth push the responsibility to opportunities, social injustice, and class solidification.
Because there is no hope, I can only do everything to compensate the child: I don't care what your future holds, at least when you are a child, others have you.
This directly leads to a bad result:
The worse the family, the easier it is to regard normal education as suffering and ashamed to let children suffer.
Limited to their own vision, families with poor economic conditions can easily make a third mistake in education: they think that as long as they study well, they can do it.
Their children, whether they study well or not, never wash their underwear, do not clean, do not greet strangers when they see them, and things other than grades have nothing to do with him.
This directly leads to the child's poor sense of responsibility and poor social skills.
After work, she became a little princess in the team who did not use her brains and wanted to shirk her responsibility when there was a problem.
They never saw themselves as a complete person who could be held accountable for a comprehensive project.
It is a screw, a part, and the illusion that there are parents who clean up the battlefield for themselves.
The rich wear 100 yuan of clothes to be frugal, and the poor wear the same style is poor acid.
In such a social reality, poor parents often cultivate excess self-esteem in their children.
In order not to let others say that their children are poor, simply do not let them wear clothes for 100 yuan.
However, self-esteem is nothing, life is realistic, and vanity cannot help anyone survive a lifetime.
This kind of self-esteem education in poor families makes children particularly "late maturing".
When peers already know how to fight for three meals a day and ten years later.
They have a warm sense of self-esteem, fantasizing that they can succeed if they play the role of a successful person.
The difference between rich and poor is essentially a difference in education.
While the rich have changed the direction of education and begun to cultivate compound talents who can better adapt to society, the poor have taken the detour of the rich 10 years ago:
Spoil your child indefinitely, seeking only grades, not anything else.
As a result, the "poor second generation" of the rich is getting richer and richer, while the "rich second generation" of the poor is getting poorer and poorer.
03
When Lin Qingxia was at the most depressed in her life, Master Sheng Yan gave her 8 words: face, accept, process, and let go.
This 8-character policy also applies to parents who are not satisfied with their families.
The real growth of parents is to be able to face up to the failures of their own lives and reflect on their own reasons.
A father said to his children at the dinner table: "I have enough talent and hard work in my life, and the reason for my failure is that I have too strong a personality and do not handle things smoothly." ”
Later, he reflected on this problem many times, so that his children began to read psychology books very early, and always paid special attention to their emotional intelligence cultivation.
The cause of the father's failure was well repaired in his children.
If he does not face it honestly, but blames the family and society, the descendants may become poor and proud in the strange circle of paranoia.
Parents are honest in their own shortcomings, and they have more prestige than pretending to be strong.
All roads lead to Rome, do not compare with the people who live in Rome, every effort of parents and children is finally closer to Rome.
Face, accept, process, let go.
Recently, I have seen too many "rich second generations" of poor families, and those who wish to be parents in the world firmly believe that parents are more powerful than schools, and no matter how big the difference in educational resources is, it is not better than the difference in parents' mentality.
Attached: A bowl of noodles, killing a child
A grandmother often came home with her grandson from school to eat noodles at a beef noodle shop next to the school, and they often ordered two bowls of noodles.
Before each noodle, Grandma always puts the beef from her bowl into the child's bowl, and then smiles and watches her grandson eat it in a big mouthful.
You didn't give me the beef.
There is no waiter at this noodle shop, and the noodles are usually served by the guests themselves after the owner has cooked them.
On this day, when Grandma came to serve the noodles, she simply picked up the chopsticks and clipped all the beef in her bowl into another bowl.
Then he carried two bowls of noodles to his grandson. The shopkeeper shook his head when he saw this, but did not say a word.
Grandma smiled and let her grandson eat, but The grandson stared at Grandma's bowl and frowned, "Grandma, why didn't you give me beef today?" ”
Grandma said that her beef had been clipped to him before it was brought, but the grandson did not believe it and shouted there:
"You liar! You must have hidden the beef secretly! While shouting, he used chopsticks to pull into his grandmother's bowl and even pulled all the noodles on the table.
Grandma showed a helpless expression, while saying that you are really disobedient, while using chopsticks to clip the noodles on the table back into her bowl.
My noodles are not sold to you.
"You must have eaten it!" How can you do that? I don't eat, I don't eat..." The diners around looked at the little bully in disbelief.
Grandma sighed, "If you don't eat it, you will be hungry, so I will buy another bowl!" ”
Just as he was about to speak, the shop owner said coldly, "I'm sorry, but I won't sell you my noodles!" ”
Grandma sat back helplessly, "My beef has been given to you, I really didn't steal it!" ”
At this time, the angry child was so angry that even the green tendons on his neck were exposed.
Reaching out, he knocked off both bowls of noodles on the table and walked away breathlessly, while Grandma slipped behind.
The people around him cast condemning eyes, this child is also too domineering, how can this grandmother spoil her grandson like this?
Not long after, the child brought a man, it seemed, it should be the child's father, followed by the grandmother wiping tears.
As soon as the man entered the door, he went straight to the shopkeeper and said, "Give me three bowls of noodles!" Then sit down breathlessly.
The noodles I bought, I decided.
The owner did not say a word and made them three bowls of noodles. As soon as the three bowls of noodles were put down, the man sandwiched all the beef from two of the bowls in front of the child, "Boss, come here!" ”
When the shopkeeper approached, the man knocked on the table and said:
"I give money to buy noodles, I like to eat as much as I want, I like to give my son to eat, you see, I gave it all to my son." We don't want to eat your noodles yet! ”
After saying that, spit and spit into the bowl!! Then he threw down 100 yuan and took the child's hand and left.
The owner was so angry that he shed tears, saying that he refused to sell the third bowl of noodles to his mother-in-law in the hope that he would make the child realize his mistake.
I also want the old man to know that it is wrong to spoil children like that, but I didn't expect to bring insults to myself, and it is difficult for good people in this society to do it!
Education expert Makarenko said:
"Everything to the child, sacrificing everything, even sacrificing one's own happiness, this is the most terrible gift that parents give to their children."
Chinese parents often give this terrible gift to their children in its entirety, and the negative impact of this gift on their children is "emphasizing wisdom over morality".
Its performance is that Chinese parents doted on their children and paid one-sided attention to the cultivation of intelligence.
As the Chinese saying goes: "How unfortunate a pet is, it is difficult for a petite to become a talent." ”
This is to warn parents how to educate their children, how to give their children a good moral education.
Teaching children how to behave is the unshirkable duty of every parent. The formation of children's good habits requires parents to first get out of the misunderstanding of love.
Children who are often overdone, they feel that everything adults do, is a matter of course, they do not know how to think about people, and they do not know the hardships and efforts of adults.
They are self-centered in everything, selfish and arrogant, do not know how to tolerate, and cannot stand grievances. They don't even know how to be polite, they have no elders, and they have no mouth.
When children get used to taking, they forget to be grateful, they always hope that others will continue to give, and they will not think of doing something for their parents and grandparents.
Therefore, loving him will teach him to learn to endure hardships, and loving him will make him know how to be grateful!