True friends are the ones who hold your hand in a difficult situation, the lamp that accompanies you in the long night, the person who will not betray and abandon you at a critical moment when the conflict of interest is closely related. A person cannot live without friends, and he cannot make friends indiscriminately. Zhu Xi, an ancient scholar, taught his son: "Between making friends, it is especially important to judge." "Great Van Dun is thick and faithful, and he who can attack me is also good for his friends; his slander is light, arrogant and blasphemous, and he leads him to be evil, and he who damages his friends." This kind of "being able to attack me" and "guiding people to be evil" as the criteria for choosing friends is also very insightful today. In interpersonal communication, although the more friends the better, it is necessary to identify real friends or fake friends, keep alert to fake friends, and cherish true friends, so as to benefit for life.
Wei Wenhou had a general named Le Yang. Once, Le Yang led an army to attack zhongshanguo. At this time, the son of Chale Yang was in Zhongshan Kingdom. The king of Zhongshanguo boiled his son and sent someone to bring a pot of broth to Le Yang. Le Yang was extremely angry but not discouraged, and unwavering, he actually sat under the tabernacle and drank a soup made of his son's meat.
When Wei Wenhou found out, he praised Master Dui and said, "Le Yang drank the soup made of the meat of his own son for me, which shows how loyal he is to me!" However, Master Zan replied, "A man dares to eat even his son's meat, so who else in the world does he dare not eat?" ”
Le Yang defeated the Zhongshan Kingdom and triumphed. Wei Wenhou rewarded him, but from this point on, he always suspected that he was unfaithful to him.
Wei Wenhou thought like this, Le Yang's self-control is superior, and it is difficult for non-scheming people to do it. The statement of the blocker is more reasonable, because a person's behavior can be seen in a small way, with amazing internal consistency.
So how do you identify the "little man" among your friends? How do you identify the true meaning of certain words and deeds?
(1) Most people who speak ambiguously like to cater to others. Such a person may say the same sentence both in this way and in that interpretation, vaguely. This kind of person is sleek in the world, never willing to suffer losses, and knows how to protect himself and how to use others.
(2) Someone deliberately avoids a topic when speaking, which indicates that he has a hidden intention in this regard, or has a strong desire in this regard. For example, when a person has a strong desire for money, power, or a certain person of the opposite sex, he is afraid of being recognized by others, so he deliberately avoids this topic to hide his true intentions.
(3) Complaining is an unspeakable pride and arrogance, and dissatisfaction with others surpassing themselves in some way. Most of the complainers think of themselves as high,000, and when they cannot maintain this superior position in reality, they will use the complaint to vent.
(4) People who maliciously blame others are mostly trying to satisfy their own desire for domination and self-esteem. Such people often like to grasp the faults of others and make a big fuss and make accusations; they are harsh and mean to others, have strong self-esteem, and have a desire to dominate others.
(5) People who love to speak and love to resort to tradition are mostly conservative in their thinking. No matter what new things appear in this kind of person, they can use traditional things as evaluation criteria. Most of these people are empiricists and their thinking is more rigid.
(6) Most of the people who speak the common wind make the rudder are not strong in principle. In life, many people do not have a certain opinion, and it is completely "watching people cook". Chekhov called this kind of person a "chameleon", and he sketched the face of this kind of person who saw the wind and made the rudder through the protagonist of the novel of the same name, Ochulov. This kind of person has no standard for doing things, and if necessary, they can change their orders and break their promises.
(7) If a person often argues about the character of others, it means that he is jealous, narrow-minded, not well-liked, and lonely in his heart. If he is obsessed with small things like others don't say hello to him, it means that his self-esteem is vulnerable and he craves the respect of others. Some people often talk about the fault or incompetence of leadership, indicating that they have a desire to get ahead and replace them.
In short, more observation of friends' words and deeds, analysis of their hearts, in order to become a real expert in understanding people, so as to reduce the mistakes of catching wind and shadows, to achieve the realm of "watching people in the small and knowing their books".