Since ancient times, the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is a problem that is difficult to resolve, theoretically speaking, as long as the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can respect each other, understand each other, and pay each other, then the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can get along harmoniously. But theory is only theory after all, in reality, due to various problems, it is very difficult for mother-in-law and daughter-in-law to be sincere and relative.
Because most mothers-in-law and daughter-in-law do not know each other before they become "family", they have differences in times, differences in cultural levels, and most importantly, differences in living habits. Originally, two such people rarely get along together in reality, but they have to be forced to become family members and try to get along in order to be the same man.
As the saying goes: a twisted melon is not sweet, not only for love, but also for the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
01
Before getting married, Xiaofang spent some time with her mother-in-law, when Xiaofang was already engaged to her husband. Before that, Xiaofang learned from many contacts that her mother-in-law was not easy to get along with, but at that time, Xiaofang did not care very much.
On the one hand, she and her husband Arwen are truly in love, on the other hand, Arwen bought a house in the city in order to get married, and Xiaofang's parents may promise to marry a house. Therefore, she has the confidence and confidence to handle the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, even if it is not handled well, it is not a big problem to live together anyway.
After Xiaofang and Arwen got engaged, Xiaofang moved to Arwen's house to live with him. Once the mother-in-law went to the city to see a doctor because of her poor health, during which she lived with them, Xiaofang also realized at this time that the difference between the mother-in-law and her personality and living habits was too large, so she made up her mind not to live with her mother-in-law after marriage.
Xiaofang told this plan to Ah Wen, who was still her fiancé at the time, and Ah Wen said that her mother-in-law was used to living in the countryside, and her life circle was in the countryside and was not suitable for life in the city, so she also vowed to xiao fang that she could fulfill her wish. Unexpectedly, how firm Arwen's assurance was, how quickly he punched him in the face.
02
Soon after, Xiaofang married Ah Wen. The two newlywed Yan'er are very affectionate and sweet, and Xiaofang also said to herself in her heart that she did not marry the wrong person. Although Xiaofang also knows that whether it is feelings or marriage, there will be a fresh period, and when love enters the stage of chai rice oil and salt, it will return to calm, but she did not expect that the change would come so quickly.
Just when the young couple was still passing the honeymoon period, the mother-in-law came and broke into their small family. For the arrival of the mother-in-law, Xiaofang is not very happy, and Ah Wen does not seem to think of it, and is very surprised by the arrival of the mother-in-law! But as a new daughter-in-law, Xiaofang did not show her dissatisfaction on the spot, and also made a rich dinner for her mother-in-law who came from afar.
At the time of dinner, Xiao Fang finally knew why her mother-in-law rushed to live with them. Originally, the family sat happily and ate together, and although Xiaofang was not happy in her heart, she also had a smile on her face to show her "welcome" to her mother-in-law. But when she was halfway through eating, her mother-in-law suddenly said, "XiaoFang, you have to practice your cooking skills well." ”
Xiao Fang smiled awkwardly, and at this moment she knew that her mother-in-law had come to give her new daughter-in-law a chance to get off the horse, and was trying to take the lead in this small family. When she went to bed at night, Xiaofang told Ah Wen about her complaints, but Ah Wen asked Xiao Fang to be generous: "My mother is like this, you don't have to worry about her." ”
03
Between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, in fact, what deep hatred can there be? Most of them are after getting along, accumulating contradictions in the bits and pieces of daily life, and then breaking out intolerableness later. This is the case between Xiaofang and her mother-in-law, after the mother-in-law suddenly broke into their lives, Xiaofang tolerated many of her mother-in-law's stubble until her husband's career was in crisis.
Due to market factors, the small company run by Arwen is also unsustainable, and the customers who owe him money have closed down early and run away, while he has to repay the supplier's payment. What if I don't have any money? Thinking about it, Arwen hit the idea to the house. Xiaofang understands the difficulties encountered by her husband very well, and he supports her husband to sell the house first to tide over the difficulties, and the family moves to the house where Xiaofang is married.
Xiaofang's idea of supporting her husband's sale of the house actually has her own selfish intentions. She thought that since her husband and mother-in-law lived in her own house, her mother-in-law should learn to respect her, right? But the result disappointed her. Due to the loss of "her" house, the mother-in-law has become more intense, and she hopes to use her strength to regain dominance in this family that does not belong to her.
The more afraid you are of losing something, the more you want to gain something. It is precisely because the mother-in-law is afraid that she has lost her dominant position in the family, so she constantly looks for things to prove that she is the one who has the final say in the family. In the past, because the mother-in-law was not excessive, Xiaofang could endure for the sake of family harmony, and now when the family encountered difficulties, the mother-in-law did not want to help, and also thought of "fighting for power and profit", which made Xiaofang intolerable.
So Xiaofang couldn't bear to have the worst quarrel ever with her mother-in-law, unlike before, she would always be silent before, or comfort and forgive her husband, but this time she had a clear attitude on the side of her mother-in-law, and he accused Xiaofang of not being so excessive to her mother-in-law. Xiao Fangqi smiled, who is overdoing it to whom? She shouted angrily, "This is my house, and I will not allow your mother to live there." ”
04
Ah Wen did not expect Xiao Fang to say such a thing, but because of the dignity of a man, he really took his mother-in-law out of anger. He thought that this family could not do without him, first sending his mother back to his hometown, and then he himself went to a friend's house to spend the night for a while, waiting for Xiaofang to take the initiative to ask for peace. Ah Wen's calculation in his heart is very good, but XiaoFang also has his own plans.
Ah Wen did not understand why Xiaofang was angry because of a little family trivia, and Xiaofang was in the daily trivialities, and the sweetness of love had gradually been consumed. She - decided that if her husband was willing to bow to her and admit his mistakes and live separately from her mother-in-law, there was still room for relaxation between the husband and wife. If the husband doesn't bow his head, then let time decide the outcome of the marriage.
epilogue
In fact, the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is complex and complex, and it is simple to say that it is simple, in addition to the above-mentioned mutual respect, mutual understanding, and mutual payment, there is also the need for husbands to play a mediating role. How to deal with the contradiction between the daughter-in-law and the mother is a science, but at the very least, it should be an impartial, objective and neutral attitude.