Text/Dahui
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People live in this world, no one can survive independently, they need to establish diplomatic relations with people, and they need to deal with all kinds of relationships, which is inevitable.
No matter how cold your personality is and how much you don't like to deal with people, there are some interpersonal interactions that you have to deal with. Interpersonal relationships are a very complicated thing, but no matter how complicated, we only need to grasp the scale and scale of getting along, and do not do something beyond the line, so that a relationship can remain more harmonious.
Many relationships are something we can choose on our own, and there are also relationships that we can't choose ourselves, such as kinship. You can't decide who you're going to be related to, we all live in a country of human affection, we pay great attention to the friendship between relatives, even if you don't like it anymore, you need to try to maintain a superficial harmony.
There will also be estrangement between relatives, and some people will be closer, and some relatives, except for the New Year's Festival, there is basically no movement on weekdays. When we get along with them, we will also make some corresponding behaviors according to the closeness of the relationship.
Of course, some weekday visits to relatives and friends, visiting each other's doors are all a matter of course, there is no need to have too many taboos, but there are some taboos that we need to pay special attention to, even if it is a close relative who needs to be cautious. That is, to live in each other's home, occasional small stay can be, long-term borrowing needs to be avoided as much as possible.
When you live in each other's homes for a long time, conflicts are bound to occur, and in the long run, it is likely to affect your relationship.
Home is a relatively private place, and it is inconvenient for outsiders to live at home
For a person, home is the most private place, and it is easy not to let others come to the home.
Unless it is a very good relationship, we will invite each other into our own home as a guest, and people with average relationships, even if they occasionally have a date, are out and will not be brought home.
Even if the relationship between them is good, there will be some privacy in life that they do not want the other party to see. If you live under the same roof for a long time, the details of your life will be looked at by the other party, and you will be very uncomfortable with each other.
No matter how closely related you are, for each other's small families, the other person is an outsider. There are some family matters that can only be solved behind closed doors and do not want anyone to know.
Generally speaking, as long as there are guests coming to the house, we will clean up the home neatly to greet each other, live together for a long time, it is inevitable to expose a more casual side, things are littered, the home is dirty and does not want to clean up, this side is often very personal, exposed to each other, each other will be a little embarrassed.
We need to always pay attention to our own image, originally at home dragging slippers, wearing house clothes is the most comfortable look, because there are others living at home, more or less will have some inconvenience.
And living in other people's homes, it is also very likely to break some of the family affairs of others, such as they occasionally have disputes, these are looked at by outsiders, the heart will be a little mindful, it is difficult to get along according to the past model, will add trouble to others.
Different living habits can easily lead to dissatisfaction
Even if you are a well-connected person, your lifestyle and living habits will be different, and living under one roof for a long time will inevitably have some contradictions.
Even if the two of you are in the same pace, there are always other members in the other person's home, and you need to cooperate with each other's rhythm in getting along with each other, and it is easy to feel tired.
In "The World of Man", Feng Yue had no place to go for a while, so she lived in the home of her aunt Hao Dongmei and spent a long time with Dongmei's mother, Jin Yueji. One is a teenager and the other is an elderly person, and the pace of life is completely inconsistent. Every time Feng Yue came back a little late, Grandma Jin would sacrifice her sleep time and wait for her. The other family needs to live according to the rhythm of her life.
Even if the other party can't say it, there will always be some concern in the heart.
In addition to the difference in the rhythm of life, it will also be easy to contradict because of a little bit of sesame and garlic skin, you eat and live in people's homes every day, and the other family will definitely feel a little uncomfortable.
If you don't help other people do housework, the other party will definitely say that you are lazy behind your back, but you are not embarrassed to let you do too much, after all, you are a guest. There are many places that need to be paid attention to directly when living in other people's homes, and a little attention can easily lead to dissatisfaction. In the end, it is easy to cause rifts in the relationship that were originally close.
No matter how good the relationship, you need to maintain a sense of boundaries
Getting too close to each other is a disaster, and this applies in all relationships.
Even a partner with good feelings, living under one roof for a long time, will produce all kinds of contradictions, let alone other people.
However, the difference is that there is a deep emotional foundation between partners, and two people are going to walk hand in hand for a lifetime, even if there will be some friction, it will be easy to resolve. But unlike other people, when there is a rift between each other, it is difficult to repair, and it will only make the relationship decline.
Many times the reason why the relationship with friends and relatives is harmonious is actually because there is a certain sense of distance and boundary between each other. The communication and communication between you and the other party is selective, and you will not fully spread your life in front of each other.
Some things are not everyone can say, and some things we will hide from the people around us, not all of them. Only when both parties have a certain sense of boundaries, pay attention to the measure of getting along, do not cross the line, do not cross the line, do not add trouble to the other party, so that this relationship can get along more smoothly.
If you live in each other's home, you break this sense of distance, before a lot of things have been maintained in a relatively hazy state, it is with this hazy feeling, can get along well, once lost, the relationship is difficult to continue.
When two people live under one roof, many things become taken for granted, and over time, they will cause complaints, and it is difficult to return to the old feelings.
Feng Xixi in "Heart Residence" is a very unclear person, she works hard in Shanghai, has been living in her sister's home, although the sisters have a deep affection, but the sister has married a wife, has her family, and the man's family lives together, if it is only a short stay, it is understandable, but living in each other's home for a long time is a bit unspeakable.
Not only did the old lady have a lot of opinions, but as a spectator, we also felt very inappropriate. Even though she is very diligent, she is always a little unjustified.
No matter when, no matter how good your relationship is, remember not to stay in a relative's house for long periods of time. The other person's family may be more literate and will not take the initiative to say let you go, but you must have a certain degree of self-awareness, do not use the embarrassment of others as a chip, and live unscrupulously.
If you don't know the importance and have no sense of boundaries, you will become an enemy over time and hurt the feelings between you. If you value this camaraderie, then remember not to live in someone else's home.