A person's success is inseparable from self-discipline and hard work, the common point of xueba is that they are very self-disciplined, only extreme self-discipline, in order to achieve success, their goals are very clear, know what they want, in order to pay efforts.
A while ago, a 700-point college entrance examination "study bully schedule" was on fire, and they arranged their work and rest time to a full time, and there was almost no time for entertainment.
Netizens have seen comments, "How self-disciplined you are, how successful you will be." "Without contrast, there is no gap." ”
After entering the university, children need to rely on their own self-discipline to study hard, because there is no teacher or parent to supervise learning.
The gap between self-disciplined children and indisciplined children is gradually widening.
M. Scott Pike's "The Road Few" also wrote that self-discipline is an important tool for solving life's problems and the most important way to eliminate life's pain.
The same thing, as early as eight hundred years ago, the Northern Song Dynasty theorist Zhu Xi had already said, he said: If you don't work hard, your heart will become more and more depressed; if you don't check, your heart will become more and more wanton.
How do parents develop their children's self-discipline?
Human behavior is mainly driven by two forces, one is derived from the innate instinctive force, mainly emotions and desires; the other is the acquired rational force, which work together to determine people's behavior.
Human innate instinct is to ensure the survival of human beings, so human beings tend to choose immediate gains and give up the long-term future, so our instinct will chase immediate satisfaction, which is commonly speaking, chasing happiness to escape pain.
However, many times, we must endure the pain of the present for the sake of the long-term future.
For example, we have to master a skill, even if there is no harvest for a short time, we must persist for a long time, only in this way can we have a harvest, which requires us to suppress the innate animal instinct, and the power of suppression comes from reason.
Human reason is acquired and is closely related to the frontal lobe in the cerebral cortex.
The prefrontal cortex is responsible for the body's thinking logic and storage of short-term memory, as well as the suppression of primordial impulses.
This shows that if we want to cultivate a sense of self-discipline in children, we must start from this prefrontal cortex.
But the first thing we have to know is the fact that the prefrontal cortex is the latest to mature in the brain.
This area doesn't fully mature until we're around 24 years old.
This shows that we can only restrain our desires well until we are 24 years old.
So when our children can't control themselves and always want to play, we shouldn't be too angry.
Instead of being angry, what we should do is to constantly and deliberately exercise the child's prefrontal cortex, so that the child's prefrontal cortex can develop as strong as possible, so that the child can better control himself.
Give your child full autonomy
How to exercise my child's prefrontal cortex?
In fact, the answer is very simple, that is, we must try to let the children make their own choices.
This practice is actually to allow children to stay awake at all times, so that children can understand what they want.
Although this method seems simple, it is not easy for parents to actually implement it.
Because when children are young, they can't think independently, and many things need parents to help make decisions.
And many times parents do not have enough patience to wait for the child to make his own choices, and have already helped the child make a choice.
In order to implement the matter of letting children make their own choices, parents must figure out which ones can make choices for children and which ones cannot be made before letting children make choices.
Parents can let their children make choices about small things, such as asking what their children are wearing today. Let the child decide for himself what he can wear today.
And most importantly, parents have to do what they say.
But if it is a matter of great importance or principle, the child is not allowed to make his own decisions.
For example, if a child wants to watch TV all the time or not write homework, etc., these are definitely not allowed.
Seize the sensitive period of your child's order
Those successful self-discipliners do not constrain themselves with a series of rules, but actively strive for and create more freedom from the heart.
A study by child psychologists found that children go through a number of critical sensitivity periods before the age of 6.
Order sensitivity generally occurs when the child is about 2 and a half years old and may last for a long time.
Children in this period will form their own unique order.
For example, when you go out and go home, he must open the door, if not, he may close the door and reopen it again.
For example, toys or shoes must be placed in a fixed position, if not, he will cry.
For example, when eating, he must use his cute panda bowl, if it is not a panda bowl, he may refuse to eat.
The order-sensitive period is an important stage in the budding of children's self-awareness.
A fixed order often gives a child a great sense of security.
This is an internal logic that children form when they explore the world.
Wise parents can cultivate their children's good living habits, learning habits, reading habits, etc. during the sensitive period of order, so that children can naturally take the initiative to restrain themselves, win more freedom, and harvest success.
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